Author SimonPhoenix Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Did you reply yet? I think you should go and then talk to her when you see her. I did reply soon after saying thank you and that I was looking forward to it. Took her and hour and a half to respond though we exchanged a few more texts after that, with her last one being very flirtatious and sweet yet comical. I've realised that she responds very well to my comical, cheeky and banter filled messages but not to anything remotely serious....or normal even. This leads me back to my precious quite above. Can people see other people for months on end, do amazing things together, share incredible times together, and have amazing sex without emotional attachment or feelings developing??? If so, howdo they keep it all emotionally in check and how do they feel about the other person? I mean, although I'm not one for one night stands (nothing against them, just my personal preference), I understand them. I also understand FWB but the rules of an FWB relationship are usually quite apparent from the start and everything is usually based around the sex. But what is someone thinking who is "not ready for a relationship yet" but still is happy to see someone once or twice a week, go on amazing dates, do the sort of things bf's and gf's do, act conpletely like bf and gf when together (in public or not) and engage in amazing sex? They openly admit that they do not like it when friends "string along guys" and go out on dates with guys they don't even like, yet what exactly are they doing themselves? I'm so so confused and to be honest, pretty down about it all to the point where I feel a bit unnatural which isn't like me at all, I'm a what you see is what you get, loyal, fun loving guy who is open with his emotions. But I kind of feel like I have to hold a lot of that back with this girl. Mainly because I really like her and I guess I don't want to scare her away. But what's the point I guess as someone said at the start of this thread (GB25) I think, "ultimately it's not fair on me as it's not what I want" It's such a shame as she is SUCH a beautiful person...inside and out
Author SimonPhoenix Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 I have been in a similar but different scenario, the guy had big life changes going on and was divorced for 2 years, just was too all over the show for a relationship, but when we were together it was amazing. I really liked him, like no one I have ever met before, it was early days though so still rose coloured glasses and all I know. Anyway, after a few months I just knew it wasn't working for me. I also knew he couldn't at that time give me what I wanted. So we had a chat and we ended things. But I made it clear to him that I liked him (he made it clear he liked me too, and was frustrated with the situation). So we left it with if he ends up in a better space and wants to give it a proper shot then to let me know. He contacted me a little while ago (about 7 months later) and we are dating again, and this time it is properly fantastic. If you say it to her, also make sure she knows you won't be waiting to hear from her, and will get on with your life, but if she contacts you and you are single you'd like to try again. She might never contact you again, but if you really like her why not leave the door open. That's a REALLY nice story Kassy. Although I dont hold much hope for my situation, I am SO SO happy that there are people out there who get the happy ending out of all this Thanks for the advice which I will have a think about. Wishing you 2 all the best for an amazing future together
kassy Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 If it helps, I was 99% sure if never hear from him again at the time. It really wasn't a fun experience and I was gutted. It's still early days for us now, so far it's going really really well, but whether it ends as a fairy tail very much remains to be seen. Let's hope so. Best of luck with your girl! But if not you sound like a great guy and am sure it won't be long before you meet someone else who rings your bell
Author SimonPhoenix Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 If it helps, I was 99% sure if never hear from him again at the time. It really wasn't a fun experience and I was gutted. It's still early days for us now, so far it's going really really well, but whether it ends as a fairy tail very much remains to be seen. Let's hope so. Best of luck with your girl! But if not you sound like a great guy and am sure it won't be long before you meet someone else who rings your bell Thanks Kassy - the same goes for you
Author SimonPhoenix Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Best of luck with your girl! But if not you sound like a great guy and am sure it won't be long before you meet someone else who rings your bell It's taken 2 years to meet someone as AMAZING as her, NO ONE else has even come close I honestly hope that things can work out between us but I've been through a lot in my life and if there's one thing I've learnt it's: Everything happens for a reason, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they are right and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together....
Joaquin Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 ^^^ this of course makes you especially vulnerable to being used (even inadvertently) by her to help he get over her last relationship. I had a similar situation. The overriding feeling was fkcu this thing with this girl doesn't feel right, I've had other gfs but this one isn't connecting like the others. It's a real head wrecker.
fabulousgal Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Instead of enjoying yourself you are focusing on all the negatives. She took an hour to text you back? Really? You are head over heels and she may or may not be, I don't know. But if her actions aren't making you happy you know what to do. If you can deal with her behavior (which is neither right or wrong, it's her) and ENJOY a lovely lady who you have such deep admiration for IN THE MOMENT... proceed. Nothing is perfect. If it feels like work then that's a good indication you aren't having fun. If you are having fun but placing too much emphasis on what she does or doesn't do....then I think you need to balance your portfolio of focus if you don't already (friends, hobbies, exercise). Loosen up and have some fun! And I think she does have an emotional connection with you, otherwise why this long? Why ask you to a show? These are the positives.
Author SimonPhoenix Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 ^^^ this of course makes you especially vulnerable to being used (even inadvertently) by her to help he get over her last relationship. I had a similar situation. The overriding feeling was fkcu this thing with this girl doesn't feel right, I've had other gfs but this one isn't connecting like the others. It's a real head wrecker. All VERY true Joaquin and yes a real head wrecker
Author SimonPhoenix Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Instead of enjoying yourself you are focusing on all the negatives. She took an hour to text you back? Really? You are head over heels and she may or may not be, I don't know. But if her actions aren't making you happy you know what to do. If you can deal with her behavior (which is neither right or wrong, it's her) and ENJOY a lovely lady who you have such deep admiration for IN THE MOMENT... proceed. Nothing is perfect. If it feels like work then that's a good indication you aren't having fun. If you are having fun but placing too much emphasis on what she does or doesn't do....then I think you need to balance your portfolio of focus if you don't already (friends, hobbies, exercise). Loosen up and have some fun! And I think she does have an emotional connection with you, otherwise why this long? Why ask you to a show? These are the positives. Thanks FabulousGirl. Don't get me wrong, for the last 3 months I have had sooo much fun with her. We have done sooo much amazing stuff together, more than I've done with anyone for a long long time. If I'm honest, after all that's been said between us, I have in some ways tried to emotionally detach from it all and simply enjoy the moment. Doing that has been AMAZING and every time we're seen eachother has been the best. I still have a VERY active social life, am VERY close with friends and family, exercise 5-6 times a week and regularly enage in my own hobbies. and that will never change and i wouldnt want her to stop doing those things too. Im not saying that I want her to be in contact all the time, or for us to see eachother everyday an be joined at the hip. But I don't know, I guess im human and there is only so much time you can spend with someone doing lovely things until you start to grow real feelings for them. I am at the brink, perhaps even over the edge with my feelings for her and because of my past, it is a place that I NEVER thought I would ever be again. I completely understand her situation and would NEVER want to stand in the way of her happiness. but over the last 2 years, I have done A LOT of work on myself. I had to completely rebuild my life and find myself again. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do but I knew I had to do it. I did't sleep around, I didn't mess around with people's feelings and was always 100% or nothing. Because of that, I stayed in the "nothing" out of choice. But now, after meeting her, I am on the brink of actually wanting to give 100%....somewhere i NEVER thought I'd be again. And that scares the HELL out of me and I'm sure would scare the hell out of her! Which is completely understandable given her own situation. That is why, even though we are having the BEST of times, I can't seem to get past this overwhelming feeling that she may need more time to do what I did so that hopefully one day she will be at the place I am at now. Now I know that would mean losing her but if that will make her happier in the long run, then maybe that is what needs to happen
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