What do you wish the opposite sex understood about your gender?

[Xinreeki]

Better bitter and angry than suicidal, I think. Anger is a great defense mechanism. Only problem is that it often leads to logical fallacies when the person tries to rationalize the anger, which then leads to bitterness lodging into the person's whole outlook.

 

At least when you're suicidal it only threatens to bring an end to your life, when you become very bitter and angry, you may be tempted to hurt others too.

 

But yes, I agree a certain level of anger can be a good way to release pent up bitterness.

 

A good quote for that is -

 

"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean."

- Maya Angelou

[joystickd]

Last week, toward the end, you said you were over it. You're still this angry at an entire gender a few days later?

 

No. At the time i had to get the anger out. I am still bothered that someone that considered me one of her best friends felt the need to lead me on. It showed she had no respect for me.

 

Its funny i work with women and regularly hear man bashing sessions but i csn talk about women and its wrong

[Roadkill007]

At least when you're suicidal it only threatens to bring an end to your life, when you become very bitter and angry, you may be tempted to hurt others too.

 

Nonono.... suicides heavily affect those whose lives have touched them. While many bitter/angry people do get violent, a good number of them simply act out without actually crossing acceptable social boundaries. Ever walk around at night and encounter "crazy" hobos who are always in the midst of complaining bitterly about someone who've "crossed" them and threaten to do violent acts to them? As violent as they may seem, most of them are pretty harmless (aside from the crazy part ofc) and are simply using anger/bitterness to maintain their sense of self and ensure to themselves that they belong in this world.

 

On the other hand, suicidal people tend to internalize their problems and blame themselves, thinking things like how the world would be better off without them, etc. What about that poor kid who chanced upon your rotting body? What about that one vendor you'd always get your snack from who found out that you offed yourself? Suicidal people can't help themselves.... while angry/bitter people are using the anger and bitterness as a crutch to keep themselves afloat.

[Xinreeki]

Nonono.... suicides heavily affect those whose lives have touched them. While many bitter/angry people do get violent, a good number of them simply act out without actually crossing acceptable social boundaries. Ever walk around at night and encounter "crazy" hobos who are always in the midst of complaining bitterly about someone who've "crossed" them and threaten to do violent acts to them? As violent as they may seem, most of them are pretty harmless (aside from the crazy part ofc) and are simply using anger/bitterness to maintain their sense of self and ensure to themselves that they belong in this world.

 

On the other hand, suicidal people tend to internalize their problems and blame themselves, thinking things like how the world would be better off without them, etc. What about that poor kid who chanced upon your rotting body? What about that one vendor you'd always get your snack from who found out that you offed yourself? Suicidal people can't help themselves.... while angry/bitter people are using the anger and bitterness as a crutch to keep themselves afloat.

 

I agree with you to an extent. But I have been near suicidal many times in my life and as long as I am able to internalize my feelings, convert anger to self-hatred etc, I prevent myself from hurting those around me too much by hiding my despair. Of course, this only works where I can truly hide my despair. And I am fully aware that if I were ever to actually commit suicide, that it would ... DRASTICALLY ... hurt those around me... so when I even get remotely close to those kinds of suicidal feelings I always seek out help.

 

But I think a very suicidal person who was at the point of actually killing themselves, would be equivalent to a very angry person who was at the point of actually killing someone else.

 

It makes sense that suicide fueled by self-hatred, and murder fueled by the hatred of someone else, be equivalent IMO.

[Xinreeki]

No. At the time i had to get the anger out. I am still bothered that someone that considered me one of her best friends felt the need to lead me on. It showed she had no respect for me.

 

Its funny i work with women and regularly hear man bashing sessions but i csn talk about women and its wrong

 

You're right, women bashing ALL men is just as wrong.

 

Bashing one individual man / woman who has wronged you is ok, but even then its best to try not and dwell on it too much.

 

That way you can get back at the person who has wronged you in the best possible way, by getting on with your life and becoming an even happier person without them.

[joystickd]

You're right, women bashing ALL men is just as wrong.

 

Bashing one individual man / woman who has wronged you is ok, but even then its best to try not and dwell on it too much.

 

That way you can get back at the person who has wronged you in the best possible way, by getting on with your life and becoming an even happier person without them.

I just have a big thing on honesty and sexual history. This issue dealt with honesty. I had an experience that happened with the person I ever had my first date. I was 24 at the time working at Wal-Mart I met a woman about 19. You know we got along and I'm excited. I couldn't believe someone was actually interested in me. I asked her out and we went to the movies. When we went out to eat I got a couple of looks from some people. Later on I found out after it was all over with. She had an excuse that she went back to her ex. I got told this after one date. I found out that she had been prostituting herself to guys in the area before she met me like a few weeks before. I can't even put into words how that felt because she portrayed the image of just a normal 19 year old that was looking a relationship even making me wait for sex and everything. That is why I'm so big on honesty.

 

As for the anger women have it lucky you have an outlet in real life to vent frustration about the opposite sex and that is your friends. Men however don't have the luxury because if some of the guys talked the stuff they do on here to their friends they would get laughed at. I mean my dad even gave me a hard time about my trouble dating. After it festers for so long when released it comes off as anger and bitterness. Coming on here and places like this has helped me out a lot as for just getting out what I was feeling

[Xinreeki]

I just have a big thing on honesty and sexual history. This issue dealt with honesty. I had an experience that happened with the person I ever had my first date. I was 24 at the time working at Wal-Mart I met a woman about 19. You know we got along and I'm excited. I couldn't believe someone was actually interested in me. I asked her out and we went to the movies. When we went out to eat I got a couple of looks from some people. Later on I found out after it was all over with. She had an excuse that she went back to her ex. I got told this after one date. I found out that she had been prostituting herself to guys in the area before she met me like a few weeks before. I can't even put into words how that felt because she portrayed the image of just a normal 19 year old that was looking a relationship even making me wait for sex and everything. That is why I'm so big on honesty.

 

As for the anger women have it lucky you have an outlet in real life to vent frustration about the opposite sex and that is your friends. Men however don't have the luxury because if some of the guys talked the stuff they do on here to their friends they would get laughed at. I mean my dad even gave me a hard time about my trouble dating. After it festers for so long when released it comes off as anger and bitterness. Coming on here and places like this has helped me out a lot as for just getting out what I was feeling

 

Yes it is good to get the anger out of your system, I agree. Just try and make sure it is directed at the person who hurt you / lied to you / wronged you etc and that it doesn't turn into bitterness and hatred of an entire gender, most of whom you have never even met.

 

Also, not all women have friends they can discuss things will. I myself don't have any female friends I can talk to about these kinds of things in real life either. So I can relate to you there.

 

Coming to a forum like this to discuss your troubles and heartache can help release some of the pent up emotions, help you see things from new angles (points of view) and thus help you to gain new insight into your situation.

[AlexDP]

I don't know if I can really say my gender on this, but I sometimes wish the opposite sex could understand that I do need me-time and that I do need time with my mates. More importantly, it would be cool if women could understand that this does not mean that I do not want to spend time with them.

[todreaminblue]

And explain why

 

i also dont like the them and us scenario....we all have humanity.......correction the majority of us have humanity.......women have their place in the world and so do men....

 

 

 

women need men and men need women......so if every one treated everyone male or female with respect compassion and understanding that we need each other........ the world would be a smoother place to live.....deb

[pcplod]

So you've crossed paths with a few women who were in deep-$h1t territory as far as their mental welfare was concerned at the time. Is that good enough reason to tar all women the same way? Do you think that thinking that way actually helps you either to understand or cope?

 

When you say this most recent woman prostituted herself, do you mean that literally, as in exchanged sexual favours for hard cash? Or was it that she was putting herself about a bit with other guys at the same time because on the rebound from a relationship falling apart, she had thought that all men are like that so they should all be treated that way? I mean, to think in that way, about someone who may well have just been in a whole heap of emotional hurt at the time is shaky ground to step on, especially if you are signing off your posts as "Leader of San Fernando Porn Cartel". Some people might just take it upon themselves to think that maybe there is some sort of hypocrisy thing going on. Know what I mean?

 

THe probability is that you will get a bit older, well, a lot older, and you will put some more experiences under your belt and the probable result of it will be that actually you discover people stubbornly refuse to fall into neat little boxes, whether that relates to what their gender is, what their attitude to sex, romance and respect for others is or even in what they like to just eat, drink and listen to musically. If you persist in relying on this rigid, limiting stereotypical thinking it is just going to cripple you for the rest of your life. Of that I am quite certain.

 

By the way, please tell me your dad only laughed at your dating woes because he really felt sorry for you and was only trying to empathize by inferring that you shouldn't take it all so seriously. If he was laughing because he simply found it entertaining, then he is just a jerk. I'm afraid some people do end up with dads that are jerks and sometimes a LOT worse. It's so tragic that it really ought to be outlawed. They don't realise or care about the damage they can do to their kids' confidence and self-esteem.

[pcplod]

Despite being a member of the "gentler sex" , I have no problems busting a cap in your ass if you piss me off enough.

Grrr! You're mean and hard. How many shredded wheat do you eat for breakfast? (UK ref joke)

[HokeyReligions]

Shaving the face every day is nothing. Try shaving almost eberything else regularly. Or worse yanking it all out by the roots.

 

Oh yeah pantyhose chafe!

[joystickd]

So you've crossed paths with a few women who were in deep-$h1t territory as far as their mental welfare was concerned at the time. Is that good enough reason to tar all women the same way? Do you think that thinking that way actually helps you either to understand or cope?

 

When you say this most recent woman prostituted herself, do you mean that literally, as in exchanged sexual favours for hard cash? Or was it that she was putting herself about a bit with other guys at the same time because on the rebound from a relationship falling apart, she had thought that all men are like that so they should all be treated that way? I mean, to think in that way, about someone who may well have just been in a whole heap of emotional hurt at the time is shaky ground to step on, especially if you are signing off your posts as "Leader of San Fernando Porn Cartel". Some people might just take it upon themselves to think that maybe there is some sort of hypocrisy thing going on. Know what I mean?

 

THe probability is that you will get a bit older, well, a lot older, and you will put some more experiences under your belt and the probable result of it will be that actually you discover people stubbornly refuse to fall into neat little boxes, whether that relates to what their gender is, what their attitude to sex, romance and respect for others is or even in what they like to just eat, drink and listen to musically. If you persist in relying on this rigid, limiting stereotypical thinking it is just going to cripple you for the rest of your life. Of that I am quite certain.

 

By the way, please tell me your dad only laughed at your dating woes because he really felt sorry for you and was only trying to empathize by inferring that you shouldn't take it all so seriously. If he was laughing because he simply found it entertaining, then he is just a jerk. I'm afraid some people do end up with dads that are jerks and sometimes a LOT worse. It's so tragic that it really ought to be outlawed. They don't realise or care about the damage they can do to their kids' confidence and self-esteem.

The prostitute wasnt recent that was about 6 years ago. The porn cartel thing signature was a way of pissing certain people off on here that talked about porn. Yes, I meant that literally.

[somedude81]

What do you wish the opposite sex understood about your gender?

That more often than not, we don't want to be just your friend.

 

Yes we have masturbating fantasizing about sleeping with you, and your friends too.