treezy Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 It's going 4 months post breakup for me now and nothing has changed one bit, except that I've probably pushed my ex boyfriend even further away. I haven't been posting for awhile mainly because there's been no good news to share, and I didn't think it'd be a good idea to exasperate everyone by repeating my depressing thoughts on here but lately, something's been nagging at me and I thought I'd seek advice. I'm not sure if anyone remembers my story. I'll post a brief recap. I suggested breaking up with my ex boyfriend early Feb because I felt like I wasn't a priority anymore. It seemed as though everyone else came first and he started acting really cold and distant. Not to mention, he's also been talking to his ex girlfriend and they even went out one day while I was on a trip and that made me insecure. On the day of the breakup he offered a friendship which I declined. He then pushed for a timeout instead and I declined too. I told him I never wanted to see him anymore. I know I was wrong but I was mentally too exhausted at that point in time. Two weeks later I called. The conversation was nice at first until he called me an old friend and I started crying. He then said a bunch of cruel things to me like our relationship didn't matter to him at all and that his feelings changed and asked me to get to terms with it. He told me not to call anymore. One month later I caved in and called, he said he didn't think it was the best idea to talk at that moment and that we both need time to ourselves. I asked if I will see him again, he said to take things one step at a time. I gave up from there and decided to go NC. One more month later I received a massively long text from him. Turns out he did reach out to me a week after the breakup but I only received the text that day which was almost 3 months later. I know I shouldn't but the text was so sweet I broke down and responded. I asked if things have changed and he said he's taking things a day at a time and that he's really happy being single despite missing the physical intimacy. We texted back and forth for abit until I said "I think I did go overboard too at some point with certain things. Maybe it's too late for this but I'm sorry". I never heard from him anymore. It's going one month now. I'm baffled. Why the lack of response? Wouldn't it be easier to acknowledge the apology and let the both of us move on from here? This is such a cliffhanger for me. Sorry for the long read guys but I'd appreciate if I could gather some opinions on this. Thanks.
Ayeo Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 He's bailed and hasn't the guts or respect to tell you this, games I think, don't buy into it, please go NC. Mine did the same, re contacted me after 6 months, I apologized over a lot of texting back and forth and was met with a blinding silence. Oh and then last week I wave at her in the street and she totally blanked me...what can you do, make a tit of yourself contacting them again? I think not, she can go **** herself, i apologized, end of.
CelticGibson Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 How were you wrong to tell him you didn't want to see him anymore? The cold hard truth is that you stopped being a priority to him and that doesn't change unless HE makes the effort to come back with a clear message that he wants to try again. Until that day, which is unlikely to come, you must go no contact and try and forget him. I know it's hard believe me but you will be much better off in the end once these feelings you have begin to dissipate. The reaching out to you was just to try and ease his guilty conscience, nothing more. His suggestion of friends meant that he wasn't as emotionally involved as you were. Each time you contacted him, he was trying to be as non confrontational with you by suggesting things like one step at a time and calling you an old friend. Trust me, if he was still interested, you would know and he would not be calling you an "old friend". Time to let go... 1
siankat Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Ouch! it just sounds like he doesnt care enough hun im sorry. And seems that u saw that coming as he was like that before u broke it off and did not try and fix things. He knew what he was doing, he baited you to break up with him so he didn't have to. I've been there. So sorry. If you are not moving on it is likely not just because of him but other things, at this stage post bu. If you are getting on with life, apologies for the previous comment and am glad for you
flitzanu Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 It's going 4 months post breakup for me now and nothing has changed one bit, except that I've probably pushed my ex boyfriend even further away. I haven't been posting for awhile mainly because there's been no good news to share, and I didn't think it'd be a good idea to exasperate everyone by repeating my depressing thoughts on here but lately, something's been nagging at me and I thought I'd seek advice. I'm not sure if anyone remembers my story. I'll post a brief recap. I suggested breaking up with my ex boyfriend early Feb because I felt like I wasn't a priority anymore. It seemed as though everyone else came first and he started acting really cold and distant. Not to mention, he's also been talking to his ex girlfriend and they even went out one day while I was on a trip and that made me insecure. On the day of the breakup he offered a friendship which I declined. He then pushed for a timeout instead and I declined too. I told him I never wanted to see him anymore. I know I was wrong but I was mentally too exhausted at that point in time. Two weeks later I called. The conversation was nice at first until he called me an old friend and I started crying. He then said a bunch of cruel things to me like our relationship didn't matter to him at all and that his feelings changed and asked me to get to terms with it. He told me not to call anymore. One month later I caved in and called, he said he didn't think it was the best idea to talk at that moment and that we both need time to ourselves. I asked if I will see him again, he said to take things one step at a time. I gave up from there and decided to go NC. One more month later I received a massively long text from him. Turns out he did reach out to me a week after the breakup but I only received the text that day which was almost 3 months later. I know I shouldn't but the text was so sweet I broke down and responded. I asked if things have changed and he said he's taking things a day at a time and that he's really happy being single despite missing the physical intimacy. We texted back and forth for abit until I said "I think I did go overboard too at some point with certain things. Maybe it's too late for this but I'm sorry". I never heard from him anymore. It's going one month now. I'm baffled. Why the lack of response? Wouldn't it be easier to acknowledge the apology and let the both of us move on from here? This is such a cliffhanger for me. Sorry for the long read guys but I'd appreciate if I could gather some opinions on this. Thanks. meh. i wouldn't believe this "my text didn't go through for 3 months" crap. it's modern technology, dear. by talking and apologizing again and again you're just picking the scab. he's been very clear that he didn't want to be with you, and the fact he even MENTIONED the "physical intimacy" was a subtle hint that he'd still bang you. and that's all he would do.
BustedUpInside Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 He doesn't have to acknowledge your apology for you to move on. You gave it and that is enough to start healing on your own. He has made it painfully clear that he is much happier being single, but please do not let that damage your ego. If he doesn't want you then it is his loss. Let him be single and see how awesome (sarcastic) the single world is. As for you, you get to go out and meet somebody new. Somebody that will accept you for who you are without trying to place any restrictions on you or comment negatively on your behavior. Good luck with NC! 2
Author treezy Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Really appreciate the input, guys. I'm not planning to break NC again unless he has something important to tell me. I don't think I have anything left to say to him on my end. I'm just puzzled at his behaviour. It makes me feel like I have done something so unforgivable that my apology didn't even deserve an acknowledgement. To Ayeo, I'm sorry to know that you had to go through this too. I hope I don't meet my ex on the streets. To CelticGibson, I felt I was wrong in being too final and some other stuff that happened in the relationship. Maybe I'm still finding excuses for him, I don't know. But you're right. I don't think my ex will be asking to try again either. After all, he's brought his point across that he's perfectly fine living without me. Looks like I don't really have a choice but to keep moving on. To siankat, I thought this was the case that's why I broke it off. I'm trying to move on but I still think of him sometimes. I wonder when this will end. To flitzanu, yes when my ex talked about missing the physical intimacy, my immediate thought was that. I guess I'm nothing but that to him. To BustedUp, I think it was more of me trying to restrict him during the relationship. I felt insecure after knowing that he met his ex and I kept saying things like how he never has time for me and all. I wish I had never done that. But yes I believe I have done everything I can to salvage the relationship. Thank you for the good luck message too. I guess I need to keep moving on and not let that set me back too much. And thank you all for the comments and opinions too.
crazy1234 Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 It's going 4 months post breakup for me now and nothing has changed one bit, except that I've probably pushed my ex boyfriend even further away. I haven't been posting for awhile mainly because there's been no good news to share, and I didn't think it'd be a good idea to exasperate everyone by repeating my depressing thoughts on here but lately, something's been nagging at me and I thought I'd seek advice. I'm not sure if anyone remembers my story. I'll post a brief recap. I suggested breaking up with my ex boyfriend early Feb because I felt like I wasn't a priority anymore. It seemed as though everyone else came first and he started acting really cold and distant. Not to mention, he's also been talking to his ex girlfriend and they even went out one day while I was on a trip and that made me insecure. On the day of the breakup he offered a friendship which I declined. He then pushed for a timeout instead and I declined too. I told him I never wanted to see him anymore. I know I was wrong but I was mentally too exhausted at that point in time. Two weeks later I called. The conversation was nice at first until he called me an old friend and I started crying. He then said a bunch of cruel things to me like our relationship didn't matter to him at all and that his feelings changed and asked me to get to terms with it. He told me not to call anymore. One month later I caved in and called, he said he didn't think it was the best idea to talk at that moment and that we both need time to ourselves. I asked if I will see him again, he said to take things one step at a time. I gave up from there and decided to go NC. One more month later I received a massively long text from him. Turns out he did reach out to me a week after the breakup but I only received the text that day which was almost 3 months later. I know I shouldn't but the text was so sweet I broke down and responded. I asked if things have changed and he said he's taking things a day at a time and that he's really happy being single despite missing the physical intimacy. We texted back and forth for abit until I said "I think I did go overboard too at some point with certain things. Maybe it's too late for this but I'm sorry". I never heard from him anymore. It's going one month now. I'm baffled. Why the lack of response? Wouldn't it be easier to acknowledge the apology and let the both of us move on from here? This is such a cliffhanger for me. Sorry for the long read guys but I'd appreciate if I could gather some opinions on this. Thanks. he bailed..mayb talking will only make things worse for both of u..so he decided to let it go instead of ending on a good or bad note..please dont talk to him anymore..let it go..hold yourself together and let it go..we all go through such weird things.
Author treezy Posted May 22, 2013 Author Posted May 22, 2013 Thanks for the response crazy1234. I'll try to keep moving on and let this go. I don't really have a choice here either since he's also cut me off now.
flitzanu Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 Really appreciate the input, guys. I'm not planning to break NC again unless he has something important to tell me. I don't think I have anything left to say to him on my end. I'm just puzzled at his behaviour. It makes me feel like I have done something so unforgivable that my apology didn't even deserve an acknowledgement. To flitzanu, yes when my ex talked about missing the physical intimacy, my immediate thought was that. I guess I'm nothing but that to him. I guess I need to keep moving on and not let that set me back too much. And thank you all for the comments and opinions too. good. you need to listen to your gut and your instinct. it's leading you the right way.
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