Netsky4life Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 So i was dating a girl for about 6 years we had our good moments and our arguments like everyone. After a while i stil loved here but i didn't feel happy anymore about she going out on here own constantly and planning things on here own (she didn't always do this but the last couple of months she did) i decided to break it up whit here, i stil kinda love here, but what is love i think its more the feeling that i am unsure what to do whit my life now creating different habbits. Well after we had our last argument she blocked me on facebook and she didn't text me back anymore. I felt hurt cause i feel that she stil is part off my past and i would feel bad erasing here but she clearly didnt feel that way. A few houres later a friend texts me saying she posted on facebook "tonight we're drinking from the bottle" and that she had removed every single picture off mine. I decided to text here one more time to ask here if she could leave here house today and if she wasnt home if i could pick up my stuff if here dad or mom where at home. She texted back ok and kinda texted like she feels sad about the situation, i don't care how she feels to be honest not anymore. I just want everything over whit which doesn't mean she's no part off my past anymore (blokcing on fb and stuff). Should i erase here from my past to i every way?
crederer Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 You broke up with her. It sounds like she's hurting but doesn't want to be friends with you. And I'm sure that really isn't that difficult to understand. Also, I know a lot of people that break up after a while because "they are no longer happy". This is a concept I never had a grasp of. Happiness is an emotion, it comes and goes just like any other emotion. And if the relationship was generally good, but you did not have the same strong pull you had before (which is normal after 6 years) is it that you feel you'll be happy all the time with someone else? I would appreciate your feedback on that. Now if you're unhappy all of the time because the relationship sucked, that is a reason I can grasp. 2
aisuru Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Uhhh, you broke up with her. My ex broke up with me. I did exactly what your ex did (well, he's not on FB so he wouldn't know I removed all his pics). I unfollowed my ex on Twitter and blocked him there. I deleted all his contact info, removed our pics from portable devices. Tucked it all away. Why would I keep that out as painful reminders when he was very clear he didn't want to be with me? THAT is why your ex did all that. You're not a part of her life anymore. Congratulations, you got what you wanted. 2
Author Netsky4life Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 I didn't want here to erase our past, i mean i stil got pictures off here to i got no issue whit that, offcourse the more intimate things i delete. Yesterday i picked up my stuff at here place and here dad gave it to me, it included a picture off us in disneyland which she deliberatly put in there she texted me that she didn't wanted me here to forget here. But i aint forgetting here, i stil got stuff from here its she that erases me from here life now. She tells me that she can't break up whit me and a few houres later after i texted here back she doesn't answer me anymore. I am really starting to think i should block here cellphone number. But if i am honest i don't want to do that since i am not like that. I can't forget about my past, which doesn't mean i should stil be in a relationsship whit here. I mean if she really loves me and has it so hard whit the situation she would fight for it, but she does exactly the opposite. The problem in the relationsship was that i felt ignored, not appreciated. She constantly did things whitout me last couple off months (i never stopped here from doing things, but there is a borderline for me). Its like she didn't had any space anymore for me and wanted to be whit me only when it fitted here. There was no WE anymore. It frustrated me that what all i did for here felt unappreciated, cause i asked here to do me a favor to do something whit me which she couldn't do because she had to study, which i completly would have understand. But it seems she had other plans whit friends, again ignoring me. So for me it came to a point where i needed to question my relationsship. Do i love here? Yes Is it out off habbit after 6 years? Unsure Was i happy whit the relationsship? Not anymore Did i felt it could be changed? I did, i tried, i expressed my concerns, they got unanswerd and i got frustrated about it.
maturityassets Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Look she has every right to be upset. You broke up with her! My ex dumped me. Yeah we got closure on everything but I'm still very upset and disappointed in how she did it. I won't say my story because I get tired of it but look she wants to be friends with me for some reason even after I expressed we really need to be out of each other's lives for a long time. She requested me on FB 3 weeks after I deleted her! I honestly at this point don't want her in my life either as a friend or lover anymore so I ignored the request. She hurt me, she gave up without work, and toyed with my feelings. She made it seem like how whole time we were together didn't matter and when our relationship was in its first real lull of requiring work to fix it, she quit. Doesn't mean I will forget her, it's just right now the relationship doesn't look to keenly to my eyes anymore. For your ex she is probably thinking 6 years and it ends so suddenly. She might have just got comfortable with you after all that time and that you should would always understand and that you guys should just trust each other. Doesn't mean she was right, I'm more like you, when I notice a lack of work from the partner to address my concerns I question them, doesn't mean we are right either. But right now, what she thought made the relationship work between you two, is shattered.
Author Netsky4life Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 (edited) well she text me that she doesn't want me out of here life, and then i text here if she wants to talk then, she is hesitant to do that which i understand. I am unsure if i stil want to be in love whit here, that's probably only something time can tell. But i am sure that suppose i think i made a mistake that it would be to late to change the situation back so thats why i would want to talk which doesn't mean both of us would feel better, it could but it also could not its a risk i know it could make everything worse. But i feel that risk is takeable, i broke it up so i proposed here to talk, i can't do more then that i suppose. While i would like to know if it could be different if we talked or not. Hmm guess i'll have to sit it out and see what she wants to do, i am certain that if she stil wants me in here life that eventually i'll get an answer on that q. But i feel i should give it a rest now, how hard it is to see whether she is willing to commit to that or not. Update: she answered me she is having exams from next monday-june 14th and want's to focus on that now, for which i have complete respect. She told me that she wants to talk to me after that, i told here that's fine but that i won't wait on here to be willing to talk to me after which she indicated that i am already seeing someone else. If i am honest there is a girl where i have a certain chemistry whit, but i am unsure about that either since i don't feel myself ready for that yet. And i am certain that girl is scared to be used as a toy which i don't want to do to here, so i am not really pushing that but i am however testing if it could work but not for a full 100%. I texted me ex after here indication if i was seeing someone else: "not yet". After which she reacted frustrated it seems. Didn't reply on that leaving it alone for now. Edited May 21, 2013 by Netsky4life
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