Usurper84 Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 (edited) Hey new to all this Internet dating / advice forums Ok so this is the situation. I have this huge crush on an older lass at work. I'd say she is mid 30's. I'm nearly 30. Younger girls at work have said I'm a catch (usually after a few drinks after work they have let it slip) soooo anyway... This lady i find hard to read (or maybe I'm just a bit too thick to pick up on it) she works for the same company but we are in different departments (same building level but tucked away in the corner of the building) a few of her colleagues work next to me so she is back and forth. She is really attractive and nice however she is higher up the work hierarchy therefor earns a very decent wage ( not that I care as money is just money but I'm on a decent wage too) I've started to notice she smiles at me a lot more often and gets a bit shy / folds her hair back over her ear whenever I smile back at her. She got so shy once that she fell over in front of me after I stopped to say hello. She tends to come right over to my desk and talks to her colleagues in a very professional manner however she usually stops and smiles at me and says hi in a casual / shy voice. Definitely talks and acts differently around me particularly when we bump into each other in the kitchen / hallways. We haven't really had much of a chance to really chat so I was going to ask her for a drink after work.. You know like after work on a Friday. Of course I don't want to be rejected as no one likes that but I cannot stop thinking about her at work. Am i reading her body language completely wrong?? Are these "bump into each other" maybe two, three times a day just a coincidence? Play nice Edited May 20, 2013 by Usurper84 More info being added Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Hey new to all this Internet dating / advice forums Ok so this is the situation. I have this huge crush on an older lass at work. I'd say she is mid 30's. I'm nearly 30. Younger girls at work have said I'm a catch (usually after a few drinks after work they have let it slip) soooo anyway... This lady i find hard to read (or maybe I'm just a bit too thick to pick up on it) she works for the same company but we are in different departments (same building level but tucked away in the corner of the building) a few of her colleagues work next to me so she is back and forth. She is really attractive and nice however she is higher up the work hierarchy therefor earns a very decent wage ( not that I care as money is just money but I'm on a decent wage too) I've started to notice she smiles at me a lot more often and gets a bit shy / folds her hair back over her ear whenever I smile back at her. She got so shy once that she fell over in front of me after I stopped to say hello. She tends to come right over to my desk and talks to her colleagues in a very professional manner however she usually stops and smiles at me and says hi in a casual / shy voice. Definitely talks and acts differently around me particularly when we bump into each other in the kitchen / hallways. Am i reading her body language completely wrong?? Play nice no you are not reading it wrong....she likes you... trust your instincts...BUT she could have multiple personality disorder one or the other...i think she likes you..:bunny: .deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author Usurper84 Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 no you are not reading it wrong....she likes you... trust your instincts...BUT she could have multiple personality disorder one or the other...i think she likes you..:bunny: .deb Wow that was a quick reply. I don't think she does have a personality disorder due to the fact that she would have to be quite intelligent to be in the position she is. That being said it wouldn't be impossible but I tend to get the vibe that she talks to me differently than others. I know about most female body language etc but this one has got me stumped. She does the whole " hi... Big smile... Then kind of looks down at her feet and folds her hair back over her ear like she is embarrassed" I could go into more detail of our brief chats and encounters but I'm on an ipad and they suck for writing long replies.. Any advice on what I should be looking for? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Wow that was a quick reply. I don't think she does have a personality disorder due to the fact that she would have to be quite intelligent to be in the position she is. That being said it wouldn't be impossible but I tend to get the vibe that she talks to me differently than others. I know about most female body language etc but this one has got me stumped. She does the whole " hi... Big smile... Then kind of looks down at her feet and folds her hair back over her ear like she is embarrassed" I could go into more detail of our brief chats and encounters but I'm on an ipad and they suck for writing long replies.. Any advice on what I should be looking for? i was joking about the multiple personality disorder.......when a girl tucks her hair behind her ear .........looks at her feet gets embarrassed easily....or a bit tongue tied....but yet around others she can carry a conversation...it is you that is making her nervous.......for whatever reason....liking you, not wanting to scare you off......unconscious actions most of the time.....tucking hair scuffing feet ......when i am around a guy......lol....i try to pull myself up....try to act "normal when i catch myself doing these things.....mainly so he doesnt feel uncomfortable....and it is freaking hard to control unconscious actions...its liek my hand goes to my hair.....i am so laughing right now......and ill put my arm back down again before i start tuckign my hair or playing with it............ill look at the ground say to myself........ crap look up look up....ill smile........then think quick smiling too long...too creepy and ill stop smiling....lol.....i go home very drained from a a constant battle of unsconscious things i have been trying to control even if the convo went for five minutes......i would rather have him in my life as a friend than lose him because i creep him out.........i cant stop laughing now givin' me the giggles........ahem..because i am freaking hopeless i have to laugh.........sigh......one thing i know is engage her in a subject she is passionate about maybe a common passion so you can open up the lines of communication........open up to her ....and she will eventually open up to you.....theres nothing sweeter than feeling a guy is beginning to trust being open with you.....its a gift.same goes when a girl first opens up to you its special......get to know her....... open up to her and share what you find you have in common........deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author Usurper84 Posted May 20, 2013 Author Share Posted May 20, 2013 i was joking about the multiple personality disorder.......when a girl tucks her hair behind her ear .........looks at her feet gets embarrassed easily....or a bit tongue tied....but yet around others she can carry a conversation...it is you that is making her nervous.......for whatever reason....liking you, not wanting to scare you off......unconscious actions most of the time.....tucking hair scuffing feet ......when i am around a guy......lol....i try to pull myself up....try to act "normal when i catch myself doing these things.....mainly so he doesnt feel uncomfortable....and it is freaking hard to control unconscious actions...its liek my hand goes to my hair.....i am so laughing right now......and ill put my arm back down again before i start tuckign my hair or playing with it............ill look at the ground say to myself........ crap look up look up....ill smile........then think quick smiling too long...too creepy and ill stop smiling....lol.....i go home very drained from a a constant battle of unsconscious things i have been trying to control even if the convo went for five minutes......i would rather have him in my life as a friend than lose him because i creep him out.........i cant stop laughing now givin' me the giggles........ahem..because i am freaking hopeless i have to laugh.........sigh......one thing i know is engage her in a subject she is passionate about maybe a common passion so you can open up the lines of communication........open up to her ....and she will eventually open up to you.....theres nothing sweeter than feeling a guy is beginning to trust being open with you.....its a gift.same goes when a girl first opens up to you its special......get to know her....... open up to her and share what you find you have in common........deb Bingo. She is very articulate with everyone else but she gets a bit shy and tongue tied. E.g last Friday i was waiting for the lift after work.. Chatting to a few female co workers. The door behind me opened so I looked and it was her, so I smiled and said hey how are you doing? She gave me this big smile... Like full teeth showing smile and almost stuttered for a second and said hey I'm good, how are you doing? I said I was good but the lift just opened... So as I do for all the ladies, I let her in first as well as the others... In the lifts I noticed she gave me a quick glance (mirrors in the lift) as soon as she got out she hurried off. I'm very keen to strike up a conversation but the chance has presented itself. Haven't had a chance to really say more than "hi,how are you, how was your weekend etc etc etc" A few mates at work said I have no chance as she is a lot higher up than I am but I'm a confident, successful and intelligent guy. The girls however said they she is married but I haven't seen any rings on her finger. (I've checked a few times) Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Bingo. She is very articulate with everyone else but she gets a bit shy and tongue tied. E.g last Friday i was waiting for the lift after work.. Chatting to a few female co workers. The door behind me opened so I looked and it was her, so I smiled and said hey how are you doing? She gave me this big smile... Like full teeth showing smile and almost stuttered for a second and said hey I'm good, how are you doing? I said I was good but the lift just opened... So as I do for all the ladies, I let her in first as well as the others... In the lifts I noticed she gave me a quick glance (mirrors in the lift) as soon as she got out she hurried off. I'm very keen to strike up a conversation but the chance has presented itself. Haven't had a chance to really say more than "hi,how are you, how was your weekend etc etc etc" A few mates at work said I have no chance as she is a lot higher up than I am but I'm a confident, successful and intelligent guy. The girls however said they she is married but I haven't seen any rings on her finger. (I've checked a few times) the only way you are going to find out she is married is to ask her when the opportunity arises......dont believe it when someone says you have no chance, you have more of a chance because she is shy around you...take the initiative......pull her aside.....and ask her out for coffee a juice whatever...what have you got to lose if she is married she will let you know then and there.....if she isnt interested which i doubt she wont go.......thats not a loss....at least you wont regret not asking her......you dont have anything to lose by asking her out...you have some things to surely gain....one is knowledge of where it is you stand with her and the other is peace of mind........i wish you luck.....deb...... Link to post Share on other sites
TheGuard13 Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 Do people go out for juice? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Usurper84 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Share Posted May 21, 2013 the only way you are going to find out she is married is to ask her when the opportunity arises......dont believe it when someone says you have no chance, you have more of a chance because she is shy around you...take the initiative......pull her aside.....and ask her out for coffee a juice whatever...what have you got to lose if she is married she will let you know then and there.....if she isnt interested which i doubt she wont go.......thats not a loss....at least you wont regret not asking her......you dont have anything to lose by asking her out...you have some things to surely gain....one is knowledge of where it is you stand with her and the other is peace of mind........i wish you luck.....deb...... thanks Deb. exactly, nothing to lose Link to post Share on other sites
soccerrprp Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 thanks Deb. exactly, nothing to lose Except if she rejects you that she will be a constant reminder as you both work in the same place. Are you certain you want to try with someone at your work? Good if it works out, bad if it doesn't.....time to change jobs. Don't mean to add a damper, but just giving you another perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Usurper84 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Share Posted May 21, 2013 Except if she rejects you that she will be a constant reminder as you both work in the same place. Are you certain you want to try with someone at your work? Good if it works out, bad if it doesn't.....time to change jobs. Don't mean to add a damper, but just giving you another perspective. Thanks for the input. I have no problem with dating a co worker (she is in the same company but our work is separate) I'd like to think I'm a good judge of character and if I didn't think it would work out I wouldn't string her along. I've had about half a dozen relationships since I left high school... I now know what I really want in a lady.. So far she is ticking all the boxes... Attractive, intelligent, career motivated... Plus I'm a sucker for a shy girl Link to post Share on other sites
Author Usurper84 Posted May 22, 2013 Author Share Posted May 22, 2013 Update: so I was at work today (had a few days off to sort out a new house) hadn't seen her all day. It was almost the end of the day, got up to make a cup of tea and there she was, walking toward me... I couldn't say much as all my team mates were in the vicinity but I said hey how are you doing.. Again did the hair tuck and said she was good and asked how I was with a smile. I said I was great and smiled back... Nothing more... However she did then have a go at a few of her colleagues about work (overheard it as I was walking away) Haven't had this feeling in a while but god daaaaaaammn she makes work worth it! Link to post Share on other sites
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