crazy1234 Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 ex left me for some1 else..lives in my same road as me..hurts to see him with her..any advice how should i cope with this??
andre84 Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I am/was in a similar spot. My ex and I were trying to work things out so we moved to different apartments...but only a block away. Well as soon as I moved out, things got bad and we basically broke up right after. So now I go by her apartment everyday... it makes things 100x harder. You need to try and move if possible! if its not then you need to make sure and find ways to not drive by his place or run into him at the store or something. We had moved across country together... and since the main reason I came here (Seattle) was her, I have decided to move back home. And I actually am in 1.5 weeks!! cannot wait to be back with friends and family and far away from this person. (Not that I see her or talk to her anyways) I know it must be tough, so hang in there and make sure you stick to NC.
Author crazy1234 Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 i cant move from here..have to make some ends meet:(..its hard really hard..esp the weekends scare me to death since these 2 days i know for sure they'r together cuz the rest of the days he got office..so yeah..its hard to see them come and go to and from his place..my world falls apart seeing how cruel he is to walk by my house jst like that..
suladas Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I know how you feel, my ex is next door and is seeing someone new. It's not easy, I don't know what to say other then time helps. Pretty much any time I see them together or his car outside it hurts, but each time it hurts a bit less. Time does help, I use to hurt seeing her or hearing her voice etc or just get anxious, now that doesn't bother me at all. I know there will come a day where it won't bother me at all. It's not easy to have to see them all the time. Being able to forget they exist is a really good thing. 1
Author crazy1234 Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 thankyou suladas for ur advice:)..i know m gonna have to get over it one day or the other..i'v been frightened over this for years.I think its finally i face my fears and know he's not worth my love or loyalty..what hurts even more was i gave him a second chance and let him in again..made me do things i never wanted to cuz he told me it was only going to be us forever..and now he leaves me for some1 else..its just sad an cruel..bt hey thanx for everything..bt whats ur storyy?
suladas Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 thankyou suladas for ur advice:)..i know m gonna have to get over it one day or the other..i'v been frightened over this for years.I think its finally i face my fears and know he's not worth my love or loyalty..what hurts even more was i gave him a second chance and let him in again..made me do things i never wanted to cuz he told me it was only going to be us forever..and now he leaves me for some1 else..its just sad an cruel..bt hey thanx for everything..bt whats ur storyy? That sucks, but in the end it's over and best to just forget it all (I know it's much easier said then done, i've yet to be able to take that advice to). Not easy to move on when you still love them and have to see them happy with someone new. At first I thought i'd have to move but I realized that's just stupid and have to just deal with the pain, eventually it will go away. In short we broke up last summer and it hurt me incredibly bad. She gave BS reasons for the BU and went very cold on me and ignored me since. Pretty much zero contact in the 10 months, I contacted her quite a few times but nothing but a few short, cold replies, and most went ignored. It's been quite a while but I did make some threads about it. I don't like to type it all out again, I try to keep it all out of my head nowadays.
Author crazy1234 Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 i know..writing it all over again is like reliving it..its okay..whatever it was..just gonna have to let it go nomatter what.I dont love him anymore btw bt m filled with so much anger and rage everytime i see him outside my window..i get so mad..and i'm bad at expressing my anger so it just makes me feel even more undefined..bt i think u should'nt call or try to keep in contact with her..its gonna make u look clingy and needy..noone likes a clingy person..nomatter how much they love u or u love them..people just dont..sink it in..and let it go..for good.
suladas Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 (edited) i know..writing it all over again is like reliving it..its okay..whatever it was..just gonna have to let it go nomatter what.I dont love him anymore btw bt m filled with so much anger and rage everytime i see him outside my window..i get so mad..and i'm bad at expressing my anger so it just makes me feel even more undefined..bt i think u should'nt call or try to keep in contact with her..its gonna make u look clingy and needy..noone likes a clingy person..nomatter how much they love u or u love them..people just dont..sink it in..and let it go..for good. Oh I get the anger, that is sometimes my reaction. The first time I seen her with someone new I nearly put my first threw the wall I was absolutely furious, I was glad at that time I never was outside at the same time as them or it likely wouldn't have ended well. Oh we aren't in contact any more, the last time I reached out to her about that stuff was almost 4 months ago. We've had no contact in nearly 3 months now and that time was a few texts about neighbour stuff and didn't end well. We see each other outside all the time, but don't speak to each other. I have no intention of changing that, I have absolutely nothing to say to her. Besides for a neighbour issue where I don't have a choice, I will never speak to her again unless she reaches out first and apologizes for some of the things she said/did. Now i'm not waiting for that or anything, I have pretty much let it go, but I still won't look past that and speak to her or even do a friendly neighbour hi or wave or anything like that. I don't love her any more, my feelings are getting weaker all the time and aren't strong for her at all anymore. Most days the only time I think of her at all is when I get a reminder of her from being at home or just being like "oh I haven't thought of her all day" and she pops into my head for a minute or two. Edited May 20, 2013 by suladas
headsashed Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I also live on the same road as my ex, she cheated on me 12 months ago and that hurt like a SOB. Im now over her. So all i did was avoid her like the plague, times i knew she was going/coming from work i would not be out, i have seen her a few times drive past but that cant be helped, so really id say just avoid her as much as possible.
Author crazy1234 Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 headsashed..Is running away really the best solution?i did for almost a year..i didnt go out for almost a year until and unless it was very necessary..i became very introvert and homely sort of person..i gave him a second chance and soon after 4-5 months he left me for some1 else..so it really makes me mad when i see him with her..its just so heartless after he convinced me this time that we were meant to be..and when i gave in..he left me for some1 else..so mayb its time i face my fears right?i'v always been scared of seeing him with some1 else..mayb its high time..??
Author crazy1234 Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 Oh I get the anger, that is sometimes my reaction. The first time I seen her with someone new I nearly put my first threw the wall I was absolutely furious, I was glad at that time I never was outside at the same time as them or it likely wouldn't have ended well. Oh we aren't in contact any more, the last time I reached out to her about that stuff was almost 4 months ago. We've had no contact in nearly 3 months now and that time was a few texts about neighbour stuff and didn't end well. We see each other outside all the time, but don't speak to each other. I have no intention of changing that, I have absolutely nothing to say to her. Besides for a neighbour issue where I don't have a choice, I will never speak to her again unless she reaches out first and apologizes for some of the things she said/did. Now i'm not waiting for that or anything, I have pretty much let it go, but I still won't look past that and speak to her or even do a friendly neighbour hi or wave or anything like that. I don't love her any more, my feelings are getting weaker all the time and aren't strong for her at all anymore. Most days the only time I think of her at all is when I get a reminder of her from being at home or just being like "oh I haven't thought of her all day" and she pops into my head for a minute or two. i think its okay..let it be..theres nothing we can do abt this..and soon enough u'll start dating someone and mayb oneday she'll know you are a wonderful person she lost a chance to be with:)
headsashed Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 headsashed..Is running away really the best solution?i did for almost a year..i didnt go out for almost a year until and unless it was very necessary..i became very introvert and homely sort of person..i gave him a second chance and soon after 4-5 months he left me for some1 else..so it really makes me mad when i see him with her..its just so heartless after he convinced me this time that we were meant to be..and when i gave in..he left me for some1 else..so mayb its time i face my fears right?i'v always been scared of seeing him with some1 else..mayb its high time..?? im not really saying run away, lim saying like can you use different routes when going somewhere? i did, it know it sounds like running away but out of sight out of mind right? Not seeing my ex for so long helped me loads,and yes another tactic which i believe in is to conquer your fear you must face that fear. Choose which ever you are comfortable with, i know its hard but i did it in the end. I saw my ex last week drive past me with her bf in the car and it didnt bother me 1 bit because id gone so long without seeing her or hearing from her which obviousley is a big part of your recovery, which ever you choose i wish you nothing but luck
Author crazy1234 Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 im not really saying run away, lim saying like can you use different routes when going somewhere? i did, it know it sounds like running away but out of sight out of mind right? Not seeing my ex for so long helped me loads,and yes another tactic which i believe in is to conquer your fear you must face that fear. Choose which ever you are comfortable with, i know its hard but i did it in the end. I saw my ex last week drive past me with her bf in the car and it didnt bother me 1 bit because id gone so long without seeing her or hearing from her which obviousley is a big part of your recovery, which ever you choose i wish you nothing but luck thank you:)..its just these weekends that i have to go out cause i have a class to attend..i cant leave my class for him anymore..even though every bit of me wants to do it so bad..bt i dnt wanna'not do'anything for him anymore than iv already done..the weekends just scare me so much cuz he works the other days..and i know almost for sure that i'd see him..and i did last week on a weekend..i felt bad and really angry for a while..bt the next day was so horrible and devastating...i felt so bad.
suladas Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 i think its okay..let it be..theres nothing we can do abt this..and soon enough u'll start dating someone and mayb oneday she'll know you are a wonderful person she lost a chance to be with:) Yep i've learned that, it's been a big learning experience for me. I do get solace in knowing that unless she makes changes she will never be able to have a relationship that lasts, meanwhile I will find someone and be happy, and she will regret what she did, if she doesn't already
suladas Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 thank you:)..its just these weekends that i have to go out cause i have a class to attend..i cant leave my class for him anymore..even though every bit of me wants to do it so bad..bt i dnt wanna'not do'anything for him anymore than iv already done..the weekends just scare me so much cuz he works the other days..and i know almost for sure that i'd see him..and i did last week on a weekend..i felt bad and really angry for a while..bt the next day was so horrible and devastating...i felt so bad. It isn't easy but it's best to live like nothing happened. Don't hide inside. Even the first few days after the BU I was outside at the same time as her doing yard work and we were around each other. It wasn't easy but it gets better all the time. And as hard as it was, I wasn't going to hide inside and not live my life.
Author crazy1234 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 im not really saying run away, lim saying like can you use different routes when going somewhere? i did, it know it sounds like running away but out of sight out of mind right? Not seeing my ex for so long helped me loads,and yes another tactic which i believe in is to conquer your fear you must face that fear. Choose which ever you are comfortable with, i know its hard but i did it in the end. I saw my ex last week drive past me with her bf in the car and it didnt bother me 1 bit because id gone so long without seeing her or hearing from her which obviousley is a big part of your recovery, which ever you choose i wish you nothing but luck hey..i know..i really want to take different routes..and i do as much as possible..its a new day today..i have a class a little later..and m afraid again..i hope this gets better..i feel bad already cuz m gonna have to go out..pray for me..so that i dont see him..or him with that girl.
Author crazy1234 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 It isn't easy but it's best to live like nothing happened. Don't hide inside. Even the first few days after the BU I was outside at the same time as her doing yard work and we were around each other. It wasn't easy but it gets better all the time. And as hard as it was, I wasn't going to hide inside and not live my life. hats off to you because it takes a lott of courage to do what u did..to see their betrayal all the time and be around them..i hope it gets better..and i gather tthe same courage u gathered..and see how cruelly he treated me to leave him..its jst so scary..i hope it gets better..and i hope m getting stronger as each day passes by.
suladas Posted May 23, 2013 Posted May 23, 2013 hats off to you because it takes a lott of courage to do what u did..to see their betrayal all the time and be around them..i hope it gets better..and i gather tthe same courage u gathered..and see how cruelly he treated me to leave him..its jst so scary..i hope it gets better..and i hope m getting stronger as each day passes by. The weird part is, as much as I was hurting at the beginning, I didn't want her back at that point. So it wasn't as bad to be around her, but when that started it was a lot harder. Although in the beginning it was very tough to be out in public and not break down. It wasn't easy, but each time it does. The only thing that really hurt was seeing her with someone new.
Author crazy1234 Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 I know it hurts..i saw them together..i felt really really angryy..and i told myself that i wont sit home and ****ing cry about it..so i called some of my friends and went out..i saw him again yesterday..and he's cruel face..just couldnt stand it..legs were shaking,heartbeat to an abnormal level..but i was like its okay..its going to be okay..he did what he had to..its a Friday again..and i have class a little later..so m gonna go nomatter what even though i don;t want to..but i will go..just stay with me guys..because i don't have much friends to turn to but u guys..
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