brandnew2 Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 So I'm sure everyone on here has dealt with this before. Things are going great with someone you really like, and then at the blink of an eye, they start to "fade away". Communication dwindles, they no longer have time for you, excuses pile up, and you're left watching everything slowly crumble because this person doesn't have the heart to tell you straight up that they now find you ugly. It's happened to me far too many times, and is happening again. I just want some insight on how to deal. I've been seeing this girl for a few months. We hit it off from the start. The sex was a little infrequent but I was so into her that I was willing to deal with it. She just had gotten out of a very long term relationship and told me that she didnt want to jump into any sort of boyfriend/girlfriend label. She said she definitely saw it going somewhere though. And her actions all pointed at her being genuinely interested. Every single morning I got a 'Good morning babe! Have a great day at work :)" text or something along those lines. we talked every day, and saw each other at least twice a week. We even spent four straight days together for a stretch and it was great. I met her parents and she met mine. We also met each others' group of friends and all got along well. But a few weeks ago we went out for a drink and when we were back at my place she bluntly said "I feel like you want to have sex and I really just don't tonight" That was offsetting, but it was fair enough. The next day I decided maybe I was letting her take me for granted, so I tried not responding to her text for a day. That backfired though, as I didnt hear from her at all until I contacted her a day later. From that point on I could just sense she was fading away. She stopped referring to me as 'babe' and texts got more infrequent. I realized I was sending the first text most days. I made plans to meet her out for a drink and thought in the back of my mind that she was going to bail. Sure enough, she did! But she felt bad and wanted to hang out the next day. Next day we went to my friend's to hang out and as soon as we left she immediately told me how tired she was... basically nipping any chance of us going back to my place in the bud. That was Tuesday and I haven't seen her since. She still texts me but it almost feels like a courtesy thing because she usually sends a few texts and then disappears and stops responding. I know she has a life outside of me but it's irritating because it's not like she is busy. She literally goes out to bars almost every night with her friends. I feel like she doesn't want to have the drama of breaking it off with me so she's just going to ride out being disinterested and hope I disappear. I know it's probably lose-lose, but what do I do? I can call her out and she will surely play dumb and make me look bad. I can just play it cool like I have been by pretending to be totally complacent but that will just allow her to get off the hook with me like she wants. I have a feeling that if I don't ask her to hang out, I'll never see her again. I want to rip into her for using me to fulfill her need for companionship and pretending it was going somewhere. But I also have a bit of hope that she'll say something like "I've missed you! Lets grab a drink tonight!" and everything will be okay. I know that's not likely though. Any tips at all? Or is it as hopeless as it seems.
apple OR orange Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 (edited) its super easy, this will happen 99% of the time, unless your a film star your not going to have women lining up for you (as a side not here, i hear on film (have video footage) Chris Pine is "to sexy" so women dont go for him, who would have believed).... 99% of the time (you’re going to get "no" in some shape or form, and oddly enough its never "no", its generally wrapped up in a "maybe" sentance), your task is to note down how you see these "no's" then you know in seconds rather than wasting your time over something that will never happen. Some "no's" are listed below (and are mistaken by most guys as "i like you keep trying”): "your such a nice guy" "wow, i dont know why your still single" "sorry i missed your call, i was showering" "i thought i would text you, i was shopping when you called" "your my best friend" "your like my brother" "lets wait till we are married" "i'm not the marrying type" I could go on, but the basics are, if they resist arranging to meet, there not in to you (or if your with them and they resist sex, same outcome), its really easy, men want it, women with hold it till they like you (unless there drunk, you have a way higher chance then, although generally that can turn out bad with Police involved i seem to here most times). Edited May 20, 2013 by apple OR orange
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