McGriff Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I sent her this tonight... "(Her name)! I've been drinking, sooooo whatever. I'm safe at home. Some things I need to say...I freaking love you, I really do. This is really hard, but I love so many things about you, from your little puffy eyebrows, to your carefree personality, your unforgivingly sharp memory, the way you walk, your laugh, your crooked eyes tattoo, everything, even your freaking name. I've tried to show you how much I love you, spoil you, give you space...BUT, I know despite all that, you don't feel the same, your heart is elsewhere and that sucks donkey balls. But the heart wants what it wants. I don't know what you really want from me, except maybe some type of platonic friendship? I miss the amazing times we had, together, not what we have now. I know that when you were dating someone else, and he ****ed up, only then did you start talking to me again. I'm like your plan B, or C or D. Always. I've dated other people, and you're still on my mind even when I'm with them, wishing it was you, and that's not fair to me or them. It's sad really. I love you way too much to just be friends with you. As boyfriend and girlfriend, I think we're great - but as friends? It just doesn't work for me. I can't pretend not to love you. I've tried. It's really hard, because I adore you so much. It kills me to hear about you with other people. It's too hard to have you near me and not be able to touch you, hold you, kiss you, rub my fingers through your hair blah blah blah. You're probably rolling your eyes, maybe even laughing, whatever. All this **** and I haven't even known you a year yet. I don't know how I get in these situations. I don't think you're trying to lead me on or anything, but hearing that you love me and miss me and the kids and stuff but don't want anything is just confusing, and keeps me stuck in this place. I really do think you are amazing, but, as you've said before---I'm not the one for you. I wish things could be different. I'll pick up the gun (I bought a paintball gun from her for my sons bday) sometime this week or you can drop it off, whatever's more comfortable, and thanks for getting that for (sons name), I'm sure he'll enjoy shooting me with it. Sorry for the ramble. Maybe one day we can be just friends, when I get to that place. I really do hope you find whatever it is you are looking for. You deserve it." Kinda long, I know, but I think it's gets the message across. What do you guys think? 4
aisuru Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Awwwww. well my heart melted. You said what was on your mind under the influence of liquid courage. Not always a bad thing... However, be prepared that you might feel like a knucklehead tomorrow. But hey, sounds like you're okay with that. I understand where this comes from and what motivates it. 2
aisuru Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Awwww, well my heart just melted. You feel better now and like you're being true to your thoughts and feelings. Brave liquid courage. Prepare yourself to be pissed at yourself tomorrow morning. Or maybe not. Maybe you just needed to get this out there. It will be okay either way. It's certainly a good catalyst. I've wishes I could do the same. I've wished I would receive something like this. It's all good dude.
aisuru Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 WHOOPSIES! thought I lost the post and wrote another from memory. that damn vodka! 1
aisuru Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Bless your heart. Everyone loves a good TUI message, lol :-) yeah well, I had a long nothing weekend of staying in. I deserve it. I should've sounded the warning. HAHA 1
aisuru Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 yeah well, I had a long nothing weekend of staying in. I deserve it. I should've sounded the warning. HAHA WAIT, you meant the OP. BWAHAHAHA. Back to my drink. 2
Kobe2345 Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Its good, sometimes u just gotta do whatever u gotta do yo
Author McGriff Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 McGriff finally gave up? Not really giving up, just standing up for what I want. I won't be friend zoned...I just have to get back on top of things---so back to NC. I actually feel really good about it.
BustedUpInside Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I think that is a wonderful message. You said what was in your heart without agenda or expectations. I bet it did feel really good. Like a huge weight off your chest, right? And now you are back to No Contact, so all in all i think it is a good thing. Hopefully she takes the message at face value and considers it for the ending that it seems like 1
SimonSerenade Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 If nothing else you let the love out and there's nothing wrong with that, as long as its in a positive light, very sweet email 1
creighton0123 Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 McGriff, Everyone here was firmly no contact when I went through my BU. I found after two weeks of NC that I hadn't said everything that needed to be said, so I sent my own goodbye email to my ex. It was a polite and carefully written email and he, in turn, sent back a polite and carefully written response. After that, I felt 100 times better with the break up and felt that a proper goodbye was said (since our breakup only took a few minutes and ended in a single kiss, a hug, him walking out the door of our apartment, and me going out of town to visit family for a weekend while he moved his stuff out). Your email was perfect and was, perhaps, exactly what you needed to truly move on.
crazy1234 Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 u said what u had to..atleast u wont regret not telling this person ever that u didnt mayb express ur love properly..so u did what u had to.BUT..if some1 doesnt want u in their life..theres nothing u can do to make them stay..so move on..moving on doesnt include another relatioship..it means building a life of ur own..build urself..u'v wrote this message..tell urself this should b ur last.
TheFriend Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I think it's a fricken great message mcgriff! It's friendly, shows her you care and let's her know you can't see her in a respectful and extremely understanding way! Don't feel bad after the booze fall off!
Author McGriff Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 Thanks for the kind words...I woke up this morning sober, and still feel good about it, so...one thing is that her birthday is in less than two weeks. I don't know how I'm gonna handle that. Probably just a simple HB text, nothing else.
cavalier99 Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Ok bro. Time to get real. Block her 100 percent. No birthday text NOTHING. Dont EVER respond to her either. Consider her dead. Time to heal. No more games. Your just stringing yourself along and wont get indifferent with contact now. Also you wont be able to enter a new RS untill you get over her. Let this be you last contact. It is for the best. Rock on! Cav 2
OwlSoul Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Not really giving up, just standing up for what I want. I won't be friend zoned...I just have to get back on top of things---so back to NC. I actually feel really good about it. I've received a letter like that couple of years ago. It felt like a final goodbye. This is why I'm saying it feels liek you're giving up.
Author McGriff Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 Have some self respect. That's what this is all about.
Treasa Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 If it makes you feel better, then it's fine. I would have left it at, "You know I love you completely, but you don't want to be anything more than friends with me. I deserve more than that. Take care. We won't be in contact again."
veggirl Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Oh god. I'd be trying to hack into her email right now to delete that before she reads it. Yikes. 4
veggirl Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 NO BDAY TEXT OMG. Esp not after that email omg!!!!! 3
HuffmanMontana Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Thanks for the kind words...I woke up this morning sober, and still feel good about it, so...one thing is that her birthday is in less than two weeks. I don't know how I'm gonna handle that. Probably just a simple HB text, nothing else. Why say anything?
HuffmanMontana Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 If it makes you feel better, then it's fine. I would have left it at, "You know I love you completely, but you don't want to be anything more than friends with me. I deserve more than that. Take care. We won't be in contact again." I'm not saying it's wrong but why the need to say I won't be in contact again? I guess I feel like they don't deserve any explanation and statements like that leave you looking bitter.
Author McGriff Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 Oh god. I'd be trying to hack into her email right now to delete that before she reads it. Yikes. Why should I want to do that? I mean, if she's pissed, so be it. I have nothing to be ashamed of.
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