JonasB Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 There were three No there weren't, there were only two you actually wanted to have sex with. The last guy was thrown in there to make yourself seem slightly less superficial.
sillyanswer Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 There were three You'll need a rest after the first two.
JonasB Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 But if he's really into you, he'll wait a little, not the end of the world. If not, he's not into you. That's our thinking. You're free to think that, truth is if we're under 45 all we think about until we have sex with you is.. having sex with you. The vast majority of men won't seriously invest in a relationship until it's out of the way. You can lament that all you want but it's just the way it is.
BluEyeL Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 You're free to think that, truth is if we're under 45 all we think about until we have sex with you is.. having sex with you. The vast majority of men won't seriously invest in a relationship until it's out of the way. You can lament that all you want but it's just the way it is. Thanks for the input. Food for thought. I hijacked the thread, I'm leaving. Got to call one of those men up
sillyanswer Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 But if he's really into you, he'll wait a little, not the end of the world. If not, he's not into you. That's our thinking. I agree, so long as when he tries it on too soon for her tastes it's handled well (by both parties). Otherwise he thinks she's not into him and he won't wait. And (not mentioned so far in this thread, I don't think, but it crops up often enough in the forum that I think there's some truth in it) if he doesn't make a move early enough she'll also think he's not into her. 1
edgygirl Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 So, just for fun and games. Let's say one decided to stop being celibate. Who should she call for sex? The guy she is gaga over and can't stop thinking about, knowing it will probably be just once but at least you slept with someone you really dig (seems more honorable), a superhot, young guy (at least he's hot, and I mean really hot, Channing Tatum hot), or a safe one (in between, you like him enough for sex, he is moderately hot, you won't fall for him)? Now, that's just an imaginary game, I'm not really asking, don't come and say "do you really need to ask us, have sex with whom you want". BluEyeL, better to get a FWB that's safe and you won't fall for in the meantime. I personally don't care about super hot. Super hot men are usually selfish in bed, they think having the looks is enough and don't work on it Gaga guy is dangerous territory and sleeping with someone only once is empty, lame and will make you feel like **** anyway. 1
Better Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Tip: it took me 20 years to realize men couldn't care less if a woman is professionally successful. It actually turns them off. Most prefer a good girl who will take care of them. There are exceptions, obviously. I actively seek out professionally successful women to date. It just feels like I generally have more in common with them. I am a divorced man in my early forties with no children who is looking for a long term commitment and would like to be married again when I find the right person. It takes all kinds ... 1
BluEyeL Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 BluEyeL, better to get a FWB that's safe and you won't fall for in the meantime. I personally don't care about super hot. Super hot men are usually selfish in bed, they think having the looks is enough and don't work on it Gaga guy is dangerous territory and sleeping with someone only once is empty, lame and will make you feel like **** anyway. I personally feel that maybe taking the risk and sleeping with the guy you really have a connection with, even if chances are close to 100% that you'll end up heartbroken, might be best?? I mean, if you are really into somebody, at least you'll have that experience with them, rather than sleep with people you have no feelings for. You'll feel like **** anyway, no? It'll hurt much more this way, but isn't it more meaningful in a way? I know that for guys it doesn't matter, but I'm thinking it should be somewhat meaningful. I'm just rambling.
CryForNoOne Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 No. I'm very successful in my career at a young age. I also have a side business that is picking up speed. I don't find successful women to be intimidating at all. It just doesn't matter to me at all lol. What's so pathetic about that? I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, but just the fact that you mentioned you are not intimidated by successful women tells me that either you are full of it or you are all too aware of the stereotype that I find pathetic. And if it is the latter, then you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about and why I find it so pathetic. It reeks of insecurity. It's the most telltale sign of a man who views a woman as an object /possession rather than a peer. Yeah I'm pretty certain most men who either dislike or don't care if a woman is successful are only after sex and are pretty selfish lovers too. Why should I complain? Just leaves more for me... 1
CryForNoOne Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 It's a known fact that a woman's career success is down low in the list of what men look for in a woman. Unless he's a loser wanting someone to leech off her Or are you going to tell us that's a priority for you and your friends? Ah. Most guys care about: 1. Looks; 2. A woman not being bitchy or too smart ass; 3. How good of a mother she will be to his children. Etc... Career? Certainly beyond #10. This very much depends on your educational and socioeconomic background. My parents were academics and I went to a top 25 university. I have a white collar career and most of my social circle is well educated. Amongst my friends, there isn't a single guy who is/was looking for Suzy homemaker. One of my best friends who is still single has told me many times that its an absolute deal breaker if she didn't go to a top school. Many of my married friends have spouses in the same exact profession (two lawyers, two doctors, two investment bankers). They often met in school or through work... 1
hppr Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I don't think most OLD men are really looking for a relationship. They want to meet women, go out, get laid, etc. Then... IF they meet someone that they feel good with and that rocks their world, only then, they'll start thinking about the potential for a relationship. I would say that is 100% accurate for OLD. The thing about OLD is that until you meet them for a few dates you have no idea what they are really like (lots of lying online, both intentional and unintentional). So most men approach it with either a lot of trepidation or they simply don't take it too seriously.
hppr Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Of course those things matter. However they are not necessarily in conflict with having a decent career. Why ANYONE would be turned off by a woman's career beats me. Why would someone be turned off by something positive? Depends on the career, how many hours a week, is it a very competitive, in-your-face field or more laid back, etc. My girlfriend is a nurse which is a great career but if she were a doctor, working really long hours in the ER, I wouldn't want to date her. I want someone who has as much or more free time as I do so that we can be together.
RedRobin Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 My advice to women is don't internalize men's character issues. Don't bother with any man whose character and reputation can't be verified in lots of ways... Which means... don't use OLD to meet men for relationships. Number one. The fact that men only want sex has less to do with the woman, and more to do with the fact that the guy is an a-hole who thinks it is ok to use people. Filter out the ones who have double standards regarding women... and who have a history of FWB/ONS... unless that is what you are looking for too. It is retarded to think any guy with that history is going to treat you 'special'... when he doesn't have a track record of doing so. 1
RedRobin Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I don't think most OLD men are really looking for a relationship. They want to meet women, go out, get laid, etc. Then... IF they meet someone that they feel good with and that rocks their world, only then, they'll start thinking about the potential for a relationship. I have a feeling they don't go on dates as we do, analyzing the potential for a relationship right from the start. They go on dates analyzing the potential to get laid and if they're attracted. Men, please correct me if I'm wrong but that's the impression I usually got. That's true. Mostly they are there looking to play the relationship lottery and have a chance at women who wouldn't give them the time of day IRL. Lots of women do the same thing though... School teachers looking to date a CEO or whatever. These are people who probably have very little in common except hormonal reactions, but in the 'magic' that is online dating... they somehow feel they can overcome these glaring differences. At least the guys are happy with getting a fast f*ck. I suggest the ladies doing OLD do the same.
BluEyeL Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 At least the guys are happy with getting a fast f*ck. I suggest the ladies doing OLD do the same. And most of them probably do, otherwise the guys won't move on so fast when you don't.
PutARingOnIt Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I have the same problem. I don't present or carry myself in a way that would suggest that all I want is a quick roll in the hay. I don't know what it is. 1
joystickd Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Why not jump on women who drop the panties fast? Men wouldnt do it if it didnt work. Then the other thing is as a man we are in a rock and hard place sort of when it comes to sex. If we dont bring it up its problems and if we do to early its a problem.
joystickd Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I have the same problem. I don't present or carry myself in a way that would suggest that all I want is a quick roll in the hay. I don't know what it is. Are you sure?
RedRobin Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I see the validity of this male point of view, however, in real life, is hard for me to deal with this. If I had early sex with everyone I've met so far, most of them would not work out, and maybe ONE will eventually work out. But until then, how many men would I have slept with until I found one that worked out? It is a conflict that I couldn't find a solution to. Especially since my number has been 1 for 20+ years and is still 1, I'm not looking to increase it to 10 within 3 months. It's hard, and confusing. Exactly. These guys don't want someone who is promiscuous... but to 'prove' you are compatible... they expect you to be basically... promiscuous... I next guys who engage in this little Catch 22 game. Men who have experienced true intimacy and desire it themselves and have something to lose don't make a habit of having sex with strangers. Next time a guy expects you to have sex with him without getting to know him, challenge him on this. Or not. I just refuse to continue seeing men who push for early sex or who have no ability to show discretion on their own. 1
RedRobin Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 And most of them probably do, otherwise the guys won't move on so fast when you don't. That's ok. To each his/her own. Just be happy it isn't you. It's not like any of those are ending up in relationships. So it is no loss. 1
hppr Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I have the same problem. I don't present or carry myself in a way that would suggest that all I want is a quick roll in the hay. I don't know what it is. Age, race, location, how you dress/portray yourself, the type of guys that you want all play a part in it. Also most guys put a high priority on sex so if things don't get physical after a few dates they will think you just want a new gay-best-friend and bail.
sillyanswer Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I have the same problem. I don't present or carry myself in a way that would suggest that all I want is a quick roll in the hay. I don't know what it is. Did none of the suggestions in the previous 100 messages of this thread give you any clues?
sillyanswer Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 The fact that men only want sex has less to do with the woman, and more to do with the fact that the guy is an a-hole who thinks it is ok to use people. It's not a fact, but nice try.
crederer Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 There isn't enough information here. When the guy initiates sex and you refuse, does he hit the road? Or are you upset that men are trying to have sex with you at all? Most guys are going to want sex as a part of a relationship. How soon you're willing to give it up depends on you but the two are not mutually exclusive. Just because he wants sex doesn't mean that's all he wants. 1
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