Why is sex all they (men) want?

[CptSaveAho]

It's a known fact that a woman's career success is down low in the list of what men look for in a woman. Unless he's a loser wanting someone to leech off her Or are you going to tell us that's a priority for you and your friends? Ah. Most guys care about: 1. Looks; 2. A woman not being bitchy or too smart ass; 3. How good of a mother she will be to his children. Etc...

 

Career? Certainly beyond #10.

 

how many people have you slept with? youve admitted it in another thread and are just deflecting blame as to why no one wants a relationship with you on your "career"

 

the people that have the most chance at a successful relationships are the ones that actually look in the mirror and admit their mistakes instead of deflecting them

 

I know doctors/lawyers that got married in their early 30s, they were quality women and had careers

 

the #1 man saying still holds true... cant turn a whore into a housewife (no matter how much she thinks she wants it)

[edgygirl]

how many people have you slept with? youve admitted it in another thread and are just deflecting blame as to why no one wants a relationship with you on your "career"

 

the people that have the most chance at a successful relationships are the ones that actually look in the mirror and admit their mistakes instead of deflecting them

 

the #1 man saying still holds true... cant turn a whore into a housewife (no matter how much she thinks she wants it)

 

Wanting to hit me below the belt honey? Funny, cause it won't work. A great guy just asked me to marry him. He's my age and unlike you doesn't go for 25 yo girls. And yes I'm prob going to marry him. Yay FYI another guy asked me to marry him a year ago. That one was not right and I passed. Keep your American conservatism to yourself. I come from a different culture than you, thank goodness and I bet I've had a much more interesting life. All is well when it ends well. My story ended very well

 

And... At least I am someone who learned from my experience in life and am here giving constructive advice to other people (OP) and trying to pass good karma on... as opposed to you.

 

Btw not sure if you remember (you seem to remember a lot about me lol!) I've been married before as well. My fancy career did not impede me to get married honey Stop skewing things.

Edited May 20, 2013 by edgygirl

[SJC2008]

Not all men are the same ok? I don't just want sex, I want STEADY sex!

[Sunshine87]

@ Tom Tucker,

 

Why would a woman's career success turn you off? Would you prefer if she did nothing with her life?

[pcplod]

Reading between the lines you seem to be unconsciously saying that the men you are attracted to should be different to the way they actually are? Putting it that fundamentally, how do you suppose that actually works? To me, it seems akin to trying to put the square peg into the round hole.

 

Just sayin'.

[USMCHokie]

I haven't been single long, but making effort to move on by meeting new men. I am so cinfused. I am smart, successful, attractive, funny. But the men I find most interesting, only want sex. Even if I don't mention sex. I am 37

Is it my age? Never married, no kids. Do men think this screams desparation for a wedding ring and babies, putting me in the "sex only" category? I hate to say it. But it seems the only men who want to be serious with me, are the ones I am not that interested in. Feels like I can't win. Why is this??

 

This often (or always) means that you are not as attractive/desirable for a serious relationship as you think you are. Remember, you are only as attractive as what you attract.

[Sunshine87]

I didn't say it turns me off. I said that it turns some guys off. Personally, I'm completely neutral about it. It doesn't affect my interest for a girl one way or another.

 

As edgy said, I'm more concerned about her looks, how laid back she is, and whether or not I believe she'll make a good mother.

 

From what I've heard and observed, the vast majority of guys feel this way (even the guys that say they don't.....I see it in their actions and what they usually focus on when discussing a woman).

 

Of course those things matter. However they are not necessarily in conflict with having a decent career. Why ANYONE would be turned off by a woman's career beats me. Why would someone be turned off by something positive?

[lino]

Why do women want sex so much? They consistently favor the ones who only want sex and cast out the rest.

 

Haha well said!

 

Women who only attract guys that 'just want sex' are doing so because that's the type of men they gravitate to. Nothing more, nothing less.

[pcplod]

You're not alone, hon. I am 38 and in the same boat you are in. And then there are those who go for you and you look them up later on and they are with someone who is clearly less attractive than you are. Why? Because as I get older I realize that men are far more insecure than they let us think they are. They actually want someone who is lesser than they are. Given a choice, they choose trash rather than a good woman. If you are educated, have a good body, attractive, and can piece three sentances together then you are not what they want. Instead they go for trashy girls who throw tantrums and make their lives miserable.

 

Sounds bitter? It should, it's been proven to me time and again.

 

{Raises eyebrows}

 

Or another way of possibly looking at it is that they think you are unavailable, that they don't meet your exacting standards or that you would be too much effort and grief. That doesn't mean that they won't end up with other women who end up giving them grief anyway. One thing for sure is that watching a woman behave constantly as if mourning how life has been unfair to them and how it is intrinsically the fault of men, as an (alien) species, is about as unattractive as it can get.

 

I once read a good looking woman's profile on an OLD site. She was very good-looking and had a masters and was clearly a high-achiever. The headline said she was looking for a suitable man for a relationship, but her detailed description was just a rant and a rail against men. Her profile indicated that she had been on the site for over 10 years, yet had recently accessed it. In a moment of sheer madness I messaged her to tactfully suggest the pointlessness of her approach. Result? Instantly blocked from communicating with her again and her profile was hidden Two weeks later it was back but the details had been completely rewritten, omitting the rant about men. I'm sure that she hadn't changed her opinion of men overnight but somehow she although she didn't want men, she needed just one, for whatever reason. I felt sorry for the one she would presumably select.

[pcplod]

"men couldn't care less if a woman is professionally successful. It actually turns them off."

 

Such a simple and vacuous assertion is nothing more than gratuitously dismissive. All I want is a woman who is both intelligent and confident and who is comfortable in her own shoes and self-contained and will not seek to make my life grief because they are not happy in themselves. Signing on the dotted line, these days, involves paying a very high price if, with the best will in the world, it turns out that you can't live with one another. That is all that puts me off, nothing dark or devious.

[Sunshine87]

I've never come across such a man. I understand if a man is neutral but I've never come across a man or heard of any who viewed a woman's career as a turn off......and I come from a patriarchal society with the traditional structures still in place I.e the man being the breadwinner and head of the family. It's one thing to say that a man is turned off by an arrogant career woman ( women are equally turned off by arrogant men). It's another to say that a man is turned off just because a woman has a career.

 

My question for those sort of men is: what would they rather the women do? Bum around?

[Sunshine87]

Some people don't view it as a positive.

 

I've never come across such a man. I understand if a man is neutral but I've never come across a man or heard of any who viewed a woman's career as a turn off......and I come from a patriarchal society with the traditional structures still in place I.e the man being the breadwinner and head of the family. It's one thing to say that a man is turned off by an arrogant career woman ( women are equally turned off by arrogant men). It's another to say that a man is turned off just because a woman has a career.

 

My question for those sort of men is: what would they rather the women do? Bum around?

[ascendotum]

You're Canadian. I bet OP lives in a big US city. Canadian men are more marriage minded as opposed to American guys in big cities. I know from experience.

 

Why do you think that is? Cultural differences due to the Commonwealth/french attitude? They only live across the border and their media & marketing is probably very much dominated by US companies. The Canadians I've known pretty much all seemed to have a very DTE nature. Maybe you should have grabbed one of those canuks

[Woggle]

The majority of men are not turned off by a woman having a career or being intelligent. What is usually the case is that they have personality traits that make being in a relationship with them very undesirable for somebody with something going for them and instead of looking at that they say that men are afraid of strong and successful women. A woman with desirable personality traits and a career is very attractive to most men.

[JonasB]

Why do men only want sex?

 

I refuse to date men who want more than just sex.

 

:lmao:

 

What kind of men are you looking to date OP because I hate to break it to you but if you're looking for someone your own age who is also smart, successful, attractive and funny the reason he only wants sex is because he doesn't want to settle when he can get younger, more attractive women.

 

You should note that three of the above qualities don't really matter to most men.

[sillyanswer]

I haven't been single long, but making effort to move on by meeting new men. I am so cinfused. I am smart, successful, attractive, funny. But the men I find most interesting, only want sex. Even if I don't mention sex. I am 37

 

There's an element of recognising that you (and, presumably, he) aren't in your mid 20s any more and so should have got past the game-playing age and should know what you like. He likes sex, and he's hoping that you like sex too.

 

If it's really a case of "only" wanting sex then you'll find out pretty quickly because they'll go away when they don't get it. If it's just a case of wanting sex faster than you're happy with then you have an opportunity to slow the pace down.

 

Aside from the sex thing, it's fairly common for the people we find most interesting to be uninterested or incompatible for one reason or another. This is how attraction and dating works.

[Emilia]

The majority of men are not turned off by a woman having a career or being intelligent. What is usually the case is that they have personality traits that make being in a relationship with them very undesirable for somebody with something going for them and instead of looking at that they say that men are afraid of strong and successful women. A woman with desirable personality traits and a career is very attractive to most men.

I'd say to 'most men who also possess desirable personality treats and a career'. In my experience like tends to attract like.

 

I don't know anything about you OP but I'm guessing you are not raising the bar high enough. A lot of men late 30s - 40s who have not tried to settle down are probably not capable of it. Are you interested in divorced/widowed men? They are your best bet. Not the perma-single lot who never grow up.

[Emilia]

Aside from the sex thing, it's fairly common for the people we find most interesting to be uninterested or incompatible for one reason or another. This is how attraction and dating works.

This is also true. The OP says she hasn't been single for long, perhaps she needs to be more patient.

[crude]

It's a known fact that a woman's career success is down low in the list of what men look for in a woman. Unless he's a loser wanting someone to leech off her Or are you going to tell us that's a priority for you and your friends? Ah. Most guys care about: 1. Looks; 2. A woman not being bitchy or too smart ass; 3. How good of a mother she will be to his children. Etc...

 

Career? Certainly beyond #10.

 

Most of the successful men I know want a successful wife, not a loser who wants to leech off him. I think you sound like a dating/marriage book that was printed in 1968.

[phineas]

All men want sex.

The one's who push for it early excite women yet the one's who don't they find uninteresting.

 

Let's think about. I mean really think about that.

 

Anyone else find it odd how someone can be insecure about themselves while at the same time claim they intimidate men because their so hot & awesome & have a high paying job?

 

Also, LOL! at the Canadian men are more marriage oriented.

Canada, the land of the bottomless strip clubs & legal brothels.

[USMCHokie]

Anyone else find it odd how someone can be insecure about themselves while at the same time claim they intimidate men because their so hot & awesome & have a high paying job?

 

This is quite possible. They are insecure about themselves when it comes to the guys they actually want, but they intimidate the guys who want them. The disconnect is that these two populations have little overlap.

 

Also, LOL! at the Canadian men are more marriage oriented.

Canada, the land of the bottomless strip clubs & legal brothels.

 

If what I've read of Toronto is true, then it would make sense to me that they are brute forced into this mentality out of necessity.

[BluEyeL]

I'd say to 'most men who also possess desirable personality treats and a career'. In my experience like tends to attract like.

 

I don't know anything about you OP but I'm guessing you are not raising the bar high enough. A lot of men late 30s - 40s who have not tried to settle down are probably not capable of it. Are you interested in divorced/widowed men? They are your best bet. Not the perma-single lot who never grow up.

Problem with the divorced men is that they often don't want to settle down again, because they are 'scarred" from a bad (maybe sexless, but certainly not working since they are divorced) marriage and want to roam free and have as much sex as possible. The widowed are too few.

[Emilia]

Problem with the divorced men is that they often don't want to settle down again, because they are 'scarred" from a bad (maybe sexless, but certainly not working since they are divorced) marriage and want to roam free and have as much sex as possible. The widowed are too few.

Some do some don't. There are plenty of men here who married for the second time.

[BluEyeL]

I've had the exact same problem. The few guys I liked (more or less, I was gaga just for one) pushed for sex within 2-3 dates and when they didn't get it, they poofed. I think that's because they are just not ready to settle down for whatever reason. We'll need to keep looking for the needle in the haystack, i.e. find someone that we are completely compatible with. I think that's the problem: we didn't find someone that is completely compatible with us and we need more time to find him. OLD is mostly full of men who are roaming for sex, it'll probably take years (if ever) to find compatibility with someone. I'm accepting this reality now and working on not being so obsessed with dating and also accept that I might never find someone compatible. The way I think is that I've already had pretty good marriage, kid, career is awesome, good relaxed life, we often get what we need, not what we want and if it's not meant to be it's not meant to be, we can be single. Problem is being celibate is not that easy. Don't know how to solve that one. Good luck to you!

[BluEyeL]

Some do some don't. There are plenty of men here who married for the second time.

That's true, I'm looking for one of those