SaintNick Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Ok, I met this girl on Match.com, and we agreed to meet. We exchanged several emails on the site and then she eventually gave me her number. From there we arranged a dinner date to meet and get to know each other. We met last Thursday at dinner and seemed to hit it off. She laughed at my jokes, stared into my eyes, etc...Before we knew it it was almost 11 o'clock. When our check was brought out to us, I pulled out my wallet and placed my debit card into the bill. She said to me that she would split the bill with me, but I told her it was my pleasure and that I would take care of it. After that, I walked her to her car where she proceeded to say that she had a great time with me. Now, I didnt text her that night after we both got home because it was rather late and we both had work in the morning. I did, however, text her the next morning to tell her how great of a time I had and that I hoped I could see her again. She responded maybe 20 minutes later saying, she had a great time last night and that she hoped to see me again soon too. After those messages in the morning, silence. I finally broke down (stupidly), and texted her later that Friday night and asked her how her day was. She did respond, and then asked me how mine was. Also, I found out on our date that she was going out of town the Sunday of that week with her girl friends. However, after our brief Friday text exchanges we havent spoken. Should I be worried that she is simply not interested, or is she waiting for me to call her to arrange a 2nd date? Did I ruin things by emailing her Friday evening after our date on thursday or what? What are ya'lls thoughts? I could really see myself liking this girl, as i have thought about her ever since our first date. Help!
pyramid Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 She is waiting for you to ask her out. Do it asap, she might be thinking YOU are not interested! 5
Ladydrib Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Ok, I met this girl on Match.com, and we agreed to meet. We exchanged several emails on the site and then she eventually gave me her number. From there we arranged a dinner date to meet and get to know each other. We met last Thursday at dinner and seemed to hit it off. She laughed at my jokes, stared into my eyes, etc...Before we knew it it was almost 11 o'clock. When our check was brought out to us, I pulled out my wallet and placed my debit card into the bill. She said to me that she would split the bill with me, but I told her it was my pleasure and that I would take care of it. After that, I walked her to her car where she proceeded to say that she had a great time with me. Now, I didnt text her that night after we both got home because it was rather late and we both had work in the morning. I did, however, text her the next morning to tell her how great of a time I had and that I hoped I could see her again. She responded maybe 20 minutes later saying, she had a great time last night and that she hoped to see me again soon too. After those messages in the morning, silence. I finally broke down (stupidly), and texted her later that Friday night and asked her how her day was. She did respond, and then asked me how mine was. Also, I found out on our date that she was going out of town the Sunday of that week with her girl friends. However, after our brief Friday text exchanges we havent spoken. Should I be worried that she is simply not interested, or is she waiting for me to call her to arrange a 2nd date? Did I ruin things by emailing her Friday evening after our date on thursday or what? What are ya'lls thoughts? I could really see myself liking this girl, as i have thought about her ever since our first date. Help! If you like her you better ask her on a second date! And if she liked you she will say yes. There's your answer. Id do it like this: tell her you'd like to arrange a second date and ask her when would be the best evening for her to (have an idea ready of where you want to take her and tell her that's where you'd like to take her). If she likes you she will tell you when a good time is and firm up the date with you. If she doesn't like you she will put you on hold indefinitely. Good luck! 1
Author SaintNick Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 Thanks, ladies! However, she is out of town with girl friends right now, and I'm not sure when she will get back. Should I plan on waiting a couple of days to give her a chance to get home? I already have an idea of what I want to do for the second date, I just need to know when I should contact her, I dont want to bother her when she out of town with friends, ya know? One more thing, ALL of our communication has been via Match.com email system, and now texts. So should I call her to arrange the second date? Thanks for all the help! This is the part of the dating process that I seem to fail at, so I'd like all the advice I can get
todreaminblue Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I agree with the other posters she likes you obviously, so ask her out.....I wish you the best...happy dating.......deb 1
Ladydrib Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Thanks, ladies! However, she is out of town with girl friends right now, and I'm not sure when she will get back. Should I plan on waiting a couple of days to give her a chance to get home? I already have an idea of what I want to do for the second date, I just need to know when I should contact her, I dont want to bother her when she out of town with friends, ya know? One more thing, ALL of our communication has been via Match.com email system, and now texts. So should I call her to arrange the second date? Thanks for all the help! This is the part of the dating process that I seem to fail at, so I'd like all the advice I can get I would definitely call her. If she likes you she will appreciate the more personal communication. I would do it while she is away. Asap. She very well might be waiting for that call. If she doesn't answer leave her a casual message and just say give me a call back when you get a chance. 1
Author SaintNick Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 Alright, I took y'alls advice and called her to arrange the 2nd date. Unfortunately, she didnt answer and I had to leave her a voicemail. Now the moment of truth I suppose, if interested she will call me back, and if not interested, she wont Thanks again! 2
Ladydrib Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Alright, I took y'alls advice and called her to arrange the 2nd date. Unfortunately, she didnt answer and I had to leave her a voicemail. Now the moment of truth I suppose, if interested she will call me back, and if not interested, she wont Thanks again! Make sure and let us know what happens! 2
Author SaintNick Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 I definitely will! I'm surprisingly nervous, we have JUST met and I really like her LOL 1
Tinie Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I'd say she's waiting for you to make the next move, like everyone here said. Some girls like that, when a guy initiates. I'm like that, because I think it's nice when a guy is thinking of me and taking care of me, it's really sweet. Definitely keep us posted! 1
ChessPieceFace Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I think you are overthinking and worrying too much. I also think you are putting too much emotional eggs into one basket. You had one date. Maybe she's intentionally playing it cool; maybe she's shopping around; maybe she doesn't spend as much time and interest on dating as you do. For now, who knows. If you really like this girl and don't want to give the impression that you're a douche who is just looking for any and all options, MAYBE you shouldn't message or arrange dates with other girls for now. Go ahead and plan another date soon; however, you need to not look desperate. Play it cool, stop hinging your whole life on one girl's whims and try not to plan out your wedding before date #2.
Author SaintNick Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 LOL I'm not planning our wedding or anything like that, but when someone joins a dating site I'd like to think that they are actually interested in dating. I have only called this girl one time, and that was last night to try and arrange a second date, so it's not like I call her or text her constantly. If you say you had a great time with someone and would like to see them again soon, I'd like to think that a girl would be a little more responsive and communicative. That's just me, I'm over the whole playing games thing.
clia Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 LOL I'm not planning our wedding or anything like that, but when someone joins a dating site I'd like to think that they are actually interested in dating. I have only called this girl one time, and that was last night to try and arrange a second date, so it's not like I call her or text her constantly. If you say you had a great time with someone and would like to see them again soon, I'd like to think that a girl would be a little more responsive and communicative. That's just me, I'm over the whole playing games thing. Are you saying you are upset that she hasn't yet returned your call from last night? Didn't you say she is out of town right now? I mean....you do realize she has a life outside of you, right? From what you've written it sounds like she is interested. It doesn't mean she is playing games if she is waiting for a convenient time to call you. Maybe she was out last night and is planning on calling you back today or tomorrow.
Author SaintNick Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 No, I'm not at all saying I'm upset about her not yet calling me back yet. I was simply saying that in NO way am I planning our wedding, and I was emphasizing that I haven't blown up her phone in any way shape or form, that's all.
Author SaintNick Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 Make sure and let us know what happens! Just keeping you ladies posted...nada from her at the moment
Ladydrib Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Just keeping you ladies posted...nada from her at the moment That's fine. Just continue to be patient. Could be that you took your time and she's following your pace. Could also mean she's not interested but time will tell. And if for some reason she's not, I know you have to shuffle through so many yucky ones before finding a good one, but there's always another good one out there somewhere. :-)
Author SaintNick Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 Yea I've ALWAYS followed my gut and it's usually right, she's simply not interested. No big deal, I'm going to go ahead and move on. She may be out of town, but if a girl IS interested in a guy she can find time to send a quick text at least letting him know that she will contact him back at a later date. You live and you learn . I will also say this, it appears she hasnt been on the dating site in like 3 days, Match.com tells you how long someone has been inactive!
fabulousgal Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 You are jumping the gun. She very well could be interested. So relax. Either way, you saw what you wanted and went for it. Very attractive in general. 1
Author SaintNick Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 You are jumping the gun. She very well could be interested. So relax. Either way, you saw what you wanted and went for it. Very attractive in general. Fabulousgal you may be right, but you know how it is when you have a "feeling." LOL. She is 29 and I'm 27 so I hoped that we would be over the whole game playing thing. I'm looking for a relationship and if someone isnt interested in me I simply want to know either way, I would NEVER be offended if a girl doesnt like me, but let me know so I don't wonder or second guess myself.
Author SaintNick Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Ok ladies, question-For future reference do I call or text this girl again and continue to pursue or do I simply chalk up an L in loss column. I called her Sunday with no response, and I know she is back from vacation now. Yes, I know she has a life outside of me and everything, BUT if she was interested she could at the very least text me and let me know that she will get back to me. Should I shoot her a text and try to see what's going on? Thoughts? Thanks
clia Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 What did you say when you called on Sunday? Did you ask her to call you back?
Author SaintNick Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 What did you say when you called on Sunday? Did you ask her to call you back? Yes, I said, "hey so and so, I hope you're having a good time on your trip, but give me a call back when you get a chance. Talk to you soon! I guess my question is, do I even try and contact her or just let it go and see what happens in the future and IF I should contact her what do I say so I dont seem pushy, needy, desperate, whatever?
clia Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 Do you know when she got back from the trip? If you don’t hear back from her, she is either not interested or “on the fence.” By “on the fence,” it means she liked you, but at this point isn’t sure if she wants to pursue anything with you. She isn’t sure if she wants to put forth the effort to call you back, or maybe she’s just been busy, but if you contact her, she just might agree to another date where she will (hopefully) fall madly in love with you. Persistence can pay off. No, but seriously. You don’t have anything to lose by contacting her one more time. What you’ve done hasn’t been overboard at all. I think you should send her a text on Wednesday and ask her out for a specific day and activity (i.e. "Would you like to have dinner on Friday?" or whatever). Keep it short and simple. If you don’t hear back from her you are no worse off than you are today.
Author SaintNick Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Do you know when she got back from the trip? If you don’t hear back from her, she is either not interested or “on the fence.” By “on the fence,” it means she liked you, but at this point isn’t sure if she wants to pursue anything with you. She isn’t sure if she wants to put forth the effort to call you back, or maybe she’s just been busy, but if you contact her, she just might agree to another date where she will (hopefully) fall madly in love with you. Persistence can pay off. No, but seriously. You don’t have anything to lose by contacting her one more time. What you’ve done hasn’t been overboard at all. I think you should send her a text on Wednesday and ask her out for a specific day and activity (i.e. "Would you like to have dinner on Friday?" or whatever). Keep it short and simple. If you don’t hear back from her you are no worse off than you are today. Ok perfect, that is what I will do then. I'd just like to from her perspective if I did something or came on too strong or what, for future reference. It's not like she'll tell me though
Author SaintNick Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 Soo I went ahead and texted the girl I've been talking about and asked her out to dinner and mini golf on Friday and she said "yes, that sounds like fun!" Although I still can't tell if she is really interested, or just shy, quiet, or what, soo frustrating! Now, I just can't mess up this Friday 1
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