beyond lost Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 what is the purpose of disappearing on someone, is this his just a way to purposely hurt someone? I don't understand how someone can say and act like they care about you, and love you and the next day be gone.
forgetmenot75 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 There are several motives they disappear, however you need to explain a little more your story so we can help you decipher why he has disappeared
aisuru Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Because they don't want to be with you anymore and don't have the cajones to tell you face to face.
Author beyond lost Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 (edited) i'm so hurt i can't think straight. Btw, I'm pretty easy to talk to so, if things weren't working out for him talking to me wouldn't been an issue. I actually asked him a few times if there was anything bothering him, anything he needed to talk about. But he kept acting like everything was ok. I do feel like someone else said: I feel disposable. And I know i'm not, but this happening to me makes me feel that way, this tells me my feelings don't matter, that I'm not even worth to have a conversation, like i'm not even worth someone's time. This, does wonders to someone who's been abandoned as child. Sometimes people don't realize how much they can hurt others. Edited May 19, 2013 by beyond lost
GB25 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 If you have unresolved child hood abandonment issues than you are unconciously seeking out and pursuing exactly the type of person who will do this to you..you are re-creating the abandonment by choosing un trust worthy partners
aisuru Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 If you have unresolved child hood abandonment issues than you are unconciously seeking out and pursuing exactly the type of person who will do this to you..you are re-creating the abandonment by choosing un trust worthy partners I agree with the above. It's a cycle and allows you to always blame the other with a "poor me" attitude. You're not doing yourself any favors. And you should seek therapy stat. Find some books on Emotional Intelligence. Two books I would recommend reading are "A Secure Base - Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development" by John Bowlby and "Raising Your Emotional Intelligence" by Jeanne Segal. You are not going to be able to deal with the abandonment issues without some intervention. It's just not possible, IMHO.
Author beyond lost Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 Not really. I know what you're saying but that doesn't apply to me. I'm not looking to start a relationship with an unavailable person. That's not the case. Also I have zero tolerance to anyone being abusive or disrespectful towards me. Many people (like me) come from troubled homes, and after years of analyzing and understanding what happened (and getting advise from professionals) we can overcome it and understand that parents are like everybody else and make mistakes.The reasons behind my abandonment were completely different. This is a different issue because, I was caring, respectful, and understanding yet I didn't get that in return. it was hurtful and was unfair. I have decided to just forget about this person and move on, because I wont ever understand people who do this to others. Can't spend anymore time thinking about it. But it hurts regardless. It makes you don't want to trust people anymore.
BustedUpInside Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Oh no! That is terrible. Do not blame yourself for someone's bad behavior. Being ignored or just dropped without any reason can really play havoc with your self esteem. It really can happen to anyone too. Some people just do not have the maturity to be able to handle adult situations face-to-face. You definitely deserved the respect that an in person break up warrants, but unfortunately, we don't always get what we deserve. You will just have to chalk this one up to somebody having deficient moral character and move on. Don't let this experience sour you on other people. I don't know a million people or anything, but I bet if I did, most of them would be good people who would never dream of treating a person in such a callous manner. Don't let yourself be jaded by a bad experience. Have an open nature and you really will get the benefit of meeting someone great in the future. Again, I know that is a really sucky thing to have happened and I hope you don't blame yourself. You rock and your ex sucks!
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