sunshine6 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Hey everyone, Quick backstory: EA with colleague, ended, still work together, he's been back and forth with getting my attention and such.. Present time: My husband and I are on the brink of divorce as of a couple weeks ago, xMM knows it through other work connections, now he is all talk about how he is not happy with his wife, shouldn't have married her, doesn't know if he can do it anymore, and he's telling me he just wants to be able to freely date and be around me. WTH? What do you guys think of this? Read my past posts for more info.
Praying4Peace Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Hi there- Went back and re-read some of your old posts. My take on it is that he wants you to hear all these comments of his about his marriage, he wants you to be aware that it's not good at home. That may or may not be true. If it is "bad" it's probably him instigating so that he can justify hitting on you. I think his intent is to restart the EA and turn it into a PA. He knows you are going to be in a vulnerable place with the divorce. Listen- he might be doing all this subconsciously but it's still the same! Do not become taken by your "shared marital misery". He's only been married a very short time, I doubt he's getting a D. Even if he wanted to he won't...easier to try and start something with you and then weigh his options. And he will probably pick his M. Please stay dignified and reserved. 1
ThatJustHappened Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 He's messing with you. He wants the affair to pick back up, and he probably wants it to turn physical. Run!! 2
Praying4Peace Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Yeah, I'm sure he dreeeeeeeams of it turning physical. Do NOT be the lame-o conquest to his stupid 'hunter' game. You can do it! If he seriously likes you, he'll like you even more if you show you're worth more. 1
spice4life Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I agree with everything the others have posted. You are going through a divorce and it makes you an easy mark for MM's who are on the prowl. Don't give in! You have enough on your plate with the divorce and letting him in with words will only add more. If he is serious then his actions will match his words. Period end. Plus, a guy who is serious about divorcing isn't going to be shouting it out to people. That's a very painful time for them and they feel like they have failed at providing for their family. In short they are a mess and it's obvious. If this guy is acting like his usual self and tossing out divorce at the same time, I highly doubt he's serious. 1
Author sunshine6 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 I agree with everything the others have posted. You are going through a divorce and it makes you an easy mark for MM's who are on the prowl. Don't give in! You have enough on your plate with the divorce and letting him in with words will only add more. If he is serious then his actions will match his words. Period end. Plus, a guy who is serious about divorcing isn't going to be shouting it out to people. That's a very painful time for them and they feel like they have failed at providing for their family. In short they are a mess and it's obvious. If this guy is acting like his usual self and tossing out divorce at the same time, I highly doubt he's serious. Very good point. I never thought about it this way. I do believe he's genuinely not crazy about her. He's said that since he married her. He says he married for reasons other than love. I have no intention of heading his way, it just shocked me. I fully expected news of my possible divorce to send him packing the other way.
Author sunshine6 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 Yeah, I'm sure he dreeeeeeeams of it turning physical. Do NOT be the lame-o conquest to his stupid 'hunter' game. You can do it! If he seriously likes you, he'll like you even more if you show you're worth more. Yeah - this has been going on for almost three years back and forth. He's never really tried to go fully physical. It has always stayed at work as an EA mainly. It's interesting that now he seems to be interested in possibly making it more. I expected him to shut things down with the possibility of no husband on my side. Don't worry - I'm not interested - just again confused by his relentless back and forth.
Praying4Peace Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Very good point. I never thought about it this way. I do believe he's genuinely not crazy about her. He's said that since he married her. He says he married for reasons other than love. I have no intention of heading his way, it just shocked me. I fully expected news of my possible divorce to send him packing the other way. Well, then those reasons are still there. And if he can get back the love with her (I'm sure it was there at some point??) then he's got the whole package. Less risk.
Author sunshine6 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 He's messing with you. He wants the affair to pick back up, and he probably wants it to turn physical. Run!! This won't happen on my account.
Author sunshine6 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 I should mention - he never spoke unkindly about her or their marriage until now... he mentioned what I said above after I asked, but until now he never initiated negative conversation about his own marriage to me. Weird?
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