jcm101 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Dated a chick only for 2 months but it ended as she didn't want a relationship and for other other reasons. I just can't get her out of my head. It's been also nearly two months since then and I keep kicking myself how I messed up asking her to be exclusive and everything and how I should have just went with the flow of having a good time as he had a 10/10 personality and loved being around her. I guess I can't over it as I dont have a large social circle and dont go out much so im not meeting other women. I've never been in a serious relationship, so losing one hurts more I guess. How do you guys do it?
rocketman122 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 spank the monkey while looking at porn of other women.. no, im jk. its hard to shut the mind and heart off to stop thinking about someone. you just need time. doesnt sound like she was as into you, like you were with her though. sorry man.
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Dated a chick only for 2 months but it ended as she didn't want a relationship and for other other reasons. I just can't get her out of my head. It's been also nearly two months since then and I keep kicking myself how I messed up asking her to be exclusive and everything and how I should have just went with the flow of having a good time as he had a 10/10 personality and loved being around her. I guess I can't over it as I dont have a large social circle and dont go out much so im not meeting other women. I've never been in a serious relationship, so losing one hurts more I guess. How do you guys do it? Time. I'll be honest. When I've been really hung up on a woman, even dating other women doesn't really help. Just no contact and time. 1
carhill Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 How do you guys do it? At your age, it was a process, the time expended being directly correlated to the amount of emotional investment and attachment. As I was more likely to become invested and attached at that age, the longer it took to 'get over'. I noted men who disclosed or showed less attachment appeared to recover more quickly. My largest lesson in that department was learned through marriage. I think that finally broke me of the attachment/investment cycle and I became more accepting of the moment and find it easier to move on now. Perhaps, for yourself, one defining experience will speak to you and assist in your process. Short-term, my advice would be to seek growing your social circle. Friends are a great way to not only distract from emotional pain but also to grow love and attachment in healthy ways so as to balance the effects of 'loss' of romantic relationships. Good luck. 1
everlongdrummer Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I remember it took nearly as long to get over my first 2 month relationship as it took to get over my recent 7 year relationship, simply because it was my first "serious" one. Everyone will tell you this and it's a hard pill to swallow right now but only time will heal you. You won't notice at first, but each day you will think and fantasize about her less and less until one day you will go the whole day without thinking about her (which sounds horrible but when you're there you will be happy). I found dating other women, while didn't stop me thinking about my ex, it certainly made it easier to shift your fantasies from one girl to another, so long as you don't bring any baggage with you. 1
Author jcm101 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 Thanks guys. Im in college and i'll be living at school next semester so maybe that will help broaden my social circle and meet more girls as i'll be going out more. It just hurts even though we werent even official. It was my first potential serious relationship with a girl and I feel like I destroyed it by asking her instead of just continuing to have a good time and let things fall in place.
apple OR orange Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 The best way to stop thinking about a girl is to get sex with another girl, thats the only real way, anything else suggested will be a work around to be honest. Time is not a healer, this will depend on how good your memory is, if you forget easy then time works well, if you remember everything then it will not heal, in fact will amplify problems generally as time means you have time to think about what you miss. Again another girl will replace the memories as you are replacing like for like.
rocketman122 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 The best way to stop thinking about a girl is to get sex with another girl, thats the only real way, anything else suggested will be a work around to be honest. Time is not a healer, this will depend on how good your memory is, if you forget easy then time works well, if you remember everything then it will not heal, in fact will amplify problems generally as time means you have time to think about what you miss. Again another girl will replace the memories as you are replacing like for like. true. being with another girl is the fastest method for getting over someone. problem is you start comparing them then you start all sorts of problem. but I agree. getting with another girl (which happens very quickly) is the tactic I use.
Author jcm101 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 I think I would have rather been official already and her dump me. Now I just feel like I ruined it by asking her to be official instead of just going with the flow of our good times.
soccerrprp Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Time. I'll be honest. When I've been really hung up on a woman, even dating other women doesn't really help. Just no contact and time. A- fricken' -MEN to that!
todreaminblue Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Dated a chick only for 2 months but it ended as she didn't want a relationship and for other other reasons. I just can't get her out of my head. It's been also nearly two months since then and I keep kicking myself how I messed up asking her to be exclusive and everything and how I should have just went with the flow of having a good time as he had a 10/10 personality and loved being around her. I guess I can't over it as I dont have a large social circle and dont go out much so im not meeting other women. I've never been in a serious relationship, so losing one hurts more I guess. How do you guys do it? losing any relationship hurts, because you had hope pinned there......and hurts no matter the time spent together or not...i wont suggest you get another girl and go bonking....but throw yourself into something that means a lot to you , give yourself time to heal...don't blame yourself for starters.....even if you had waited to ask, and just enjoyed the time spent together there would never have been a guarantee that things would have been different and that you wouldn't have got hurt....its the other side of the coin with love....always a chance it will flip on to the side you haven't bet on.....you just have to have faith it flips for a reason.........have faith in yourself and know you deserve happiness, you do have happiness to share with another.......and when you are ready ...you will find that love that's right for you......deb
Author jcm101 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 losing any relationship hurts, because you had hope pinned there......and hurts no matter the time spent together or not...i wont suggest you get another girl and go bonking....but throw yourself into something that means a lot to you , give yourself time to heal...don't blame yourself for starters.....even if you had waited to ask, and just enjoyed the time spent together there would never have been a guarantee that things would have been different and that you wouldn't have got hurt....its the other side of the coin with love....always a chance it will flip on to the side you haven't bet on.....you just have to have faith it flips for a reason.........have faith in yourself and know you deserve happiness, you do have happiness to share with another.......and when you are ready ...you will find that love that's right for you......deb I want to find another girl though. It just really hurts because I feel it's all my fault on how it ended.
ffw Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I want to find another girl though. It just really hurts because I feel it's all my fault on how it ended. Trust me it won't solve the problem. Infact, it won't be fair to her (new girl) nor on your part to jump in a new relationship. Like other mentioned, time is your best friend. Right now you are putting her on a pedestral. We all made mistakes, but learning from them is the key. Hope it helps. Cheers.
Author jcm101 Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 Trust me it won't solve the problem. Infact, it won't be fair to her (new girl) nor on your part to jump in a new relationship. Like other mentioned, time is your best friend. Right now you are putting her on a pedestral. We all made mistakes, but learning from them is the key. Hope it helps. Cheers. Not jumping into anything. I just want to meet more girls.
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