zebracolors Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 As a woman I can say it is possible for us to like a guy's company but have no physical attraction to him. As for myself if I have no interest like that, I try to be gracious but straight forward about it, then how he reacts is up to him. So far I've not been in that situation where I have the chance to introduce someone to my single girlfriends so I'd like to think I would if I didn't have any attraction to him, at least for the potential. Though if I was attracted to him, yes I'd try to let him know but Im not competitive. I'd be gracious and respect whatever he wanted.
StanMusial Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I've never had a female friend try to set up up with her friends. Some even refused when I asked. Things like that did wonders for my confidence. Are your female friends cool or beotches?
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 Just to clarify. I don't necessarily mean that a woman is thinking of a female friend in particular. I've had several occasions when women have been like, "Oh Jimmy! I could hook you up!" While referring to no woman in particular. It's just another way to screen out women who have no physical attraction to you.
StanMusial Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I've hooked by guy friends up with girls before. These two situations have happened to me before: 1) A female friend that I've been trying to get with displays no interest in me. I deem the generation of interest to be unlikely/too much work so I hook her up with a friend that I believe she'll like (ironically, each time I've done this, the girl focused her attention on me afterwards). 2) A female that I hit on while out is not interested in me and displays some sort of interest (either subtle or overt) in one of my friends. I tell him about it (and sometimes, physically push him in lol). No shame in my game. Plenty more girls out there. That's the best way to be. I have tried a few times in the past to set up a buddy with a friend of one of my ex-gf's. Honestly though women can be so fickle about stuff like that it is hard to do LOL. I did set up a good friend of mine with a girl while in college and he has been married to her for 15 years now. So I guess I did good on that one.
Veronica2025 Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 People try to set me up from time to time. I have noticed that the ones that are happy in a relationship seem to do a better job of it. I have never had a single, male friend try to fix me up. If it was a pretty girl they would definitely want her for themselves (and were probably trying). The worst set-up I ever experienced was with a buddy of mine and his wife. His wife is a chubby ball-buster and guess what? So was her friend. She brought her out once to try to fix me up and I was nice and polite to her but the whole time I was thinking "Really? Why would she think I would like her?" I didn't know when I met up with them what was going on but I figured it out real quick LOL. Luckily there were a lot of people in our group and I didn't get stuck talking to her or anything. Oh, I have had the "Let me introduce you to my friend. Here's ---insert name---!" set up. They think "oh, he's nice" instead of him being compatible. One of my friend's has this cousin who she is constantly trying to push me on. And he's just awkward and creepy. One day he asked me what was Halloween as a conversation starter.
Veronica2025 Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 If a woman offers to set you up with a friend then she thinks you are a charity case and hooks you up with others she feels the same way about. If she doesn't offer to do this it could mean just about anything. She is saving you for herself. She doesn't want you in her personal life because you are too much to handle. The list goes on. As a single women in her mid-twenties I have to say this rings true. I think those who are married truly see me as a charity case , someone who is unfortunate enough to be unmarried and single. And because of their perception of loneliness on my part they send unfortunates to me to be torn to pieces.
Star Gazer Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I'm always trying to help other guys out, so in my experience, here is the #1 sign that a woman has no interest in you. And especially amongst unsuccessful guys, you'll get it a lot. When you know a woman and you and her know other guys. She offers to hook up some of the other guys with her friends, but never you. Women tend to run in packs with other women of equal attractiveness and expectations, so the fact that she has not offered to hook you up with her friends means that she does not think you are physically attractive enough for her friends or her. Now, when a woman DOES offer to hook you up with her friends it does not mean that she would date you, but it does mean that she thinks you are attractive enough or that she knows her friends to be not that shallow, and she is likely non-shallow herself. When you come across this, write that woman off. This is ass backwards. I would never offer to hook up a guy with my friends if I was interested in him. If I am interested in him, why would I direct his attention elsewhere??? 2
USMCHokie Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Mid-twenties is pretty young to be considered a charity case. Do you live in 1925 or something? LOL There are lot of areas in the country where that is often the case...even in 2013...
somedude81 Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 This is ass backwards. I would never offer to hook up a guy with my friends if I was interested in him. If I am interested in him, why would I direct his attention elsewhere??? I don't think interested is the right word. Believing he's "good enough to date" sounds more accurate. As in, if you don't think a guy is good enough for you to date, you would never introduce him to a friend. 1
Star Gazer Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 As in, if you don't think a guy is good enough for you to date, you would never introduce him to a friend. Sure I would. Different women have different tastes; my friends and I aren't clones of one another. Just because he might not be for me, doesn't mean he wouldn't be great for one of my friends. But to say that not setting you up with my friends ipso facto means I'm not interested in you? That's an ass backwards leap.
somedude81 Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Sure I would. Different women have different tastes; my friends and I aren't clones of one another. Just because he might not be for me, doesn't mean he wouldn't be great for one of my friends. But that is the main premise of this thread, at least as I have understood it. But to say that not setting you up with my friends ipso facto means I'm not interested in you? That's an ass backwards leap. None of my female friends have ever introduced me to their friends. To me that means that my female friends have thought that I was not good enough to date them, or their friends.
daletom Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 As a single women in her mid-twenties I have to say this rings true. I think those who are married truly see me as a charity case , someone who is unfortunate enough to be unmarried and single. And because of their perception of loneliness on my part they send unfortunates to me to be torn to pieces. I don't know if the "charity case" part is accurate, but in general I don't think people in their teens or 20's are very good at identifying truly compatible partners. They tend to concentrate on superficial similarities, e.g. "you like cats and he/she likes cats", "you're a good student and she/he is a good student", etc. My wife and I were introduced by a much older (our parents' age) mutual friend who knew both of us a little deeper than "casual friend" level. The friend thought there were some points of genuine compatibility, though it wasn't explicitly mentioned. At any rate, it went from "I think you should meet . . . " to "Congratulations on your marriage . . . " in about a year and a half, and still married almost 39 years later.
serial muse Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 (edited) Haha, this thread. Well, I never get involved in matchmaking, frankly. And the reason for that has exactly zip to do with my opinion of the relative attractiveness of anybody. I'm married now, but I didn't do it when I was single, either. The reason is simply that I really did not enjoy when other people set me up. IMO, by and large - and the usual caveats apply - other people are very, very bad at guessing what you'll like. They tend to just cast about for single people of the appropriate gender in their general circle, without thinking much about whether the two subjects' personalities will at all mesh. I've had some of the worst, most excruciatingly bad dates of my life courtesy of well-meaning friends (who also really don't want to hear that it was a bad match!). I would never inflict that on someone else. To be fair, I'm an introvert, and I am aware that many extroverts might see this differently. We've got one extremely extroverted friend who seems eager to date anyone my H (who enjoys a bit of amateur matchmaking) can think of. I'm fascinated by this - some of these were VERY bad matches, personality-wise. But unlike me, she doesn't seem to mind that part. On the other hand, maybe she just doesn't know how to tell him to stop. Anyway, bottom line, I prefer to remain a spectator in that particular sport, but not because I'm assessing attractiveness levels. Edited May 20, 2013 by serial muse
lino Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Pretty spot on, no woman in my entire life has ever tried to "hook me up" with her friends in any way. Strangely people like giving the advice that if you are friends with a woman she'll "hook you up" with one of her friends, honestly that's just unrealistic wishful thinking. Its rare that any friends would help in the dating arena in anyway already (well for me, alot of other guys I know meet people through other people), so its all up to you. In my experience, it's more common that female acquaintances will set you up with other women than close female friends. None of my close female friends have ever tried to set me up. It's always been women that I knew on a casual basis.
Revolver Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I don't think interested is the right word. Believing he's "good enough to date" sounds more accurate. As in, if you don't think a guy is good enough for you to date, you would never introduce him to a friend. Similar to how if a guy thought a girl was good enough to date he would never introduce her to a friend
Mme. Chaucer Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Well she could just want you for herself too... Think positive! Seriously. If I were interested in a guy, that would be the VERY LAST guy I'd be offering to hook up with my friends! I don't know a single woman who'd feel differently!
It's Just Me Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I would think that the #1 sign of disinterest is the phrase, "I'm not interested." Especially when it's directed at you.
nerd Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I would think that the #1 sign of disinterest is the phrase' date=' "I'm not interested." Especially when it's directed at you.[/quote'] Most girls go through ridiculous lengths to avoid saying that though. Especially directly to you. The number one sign is that they avoid you. The number two sign is that they start pining/dating someone else.
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