NaTully Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Sorry it's long but I really need help and advice. I live & work in a mining camp & have been here 9mths & for that time I have had a serious crush on a man who is here too. So much, the times he tried to talk to me I would turn red & run away like I'm 12 but I always felt like he was attracted as he was always looking at me and I him etc. 5 weeks ago at home i went out with 2 friends from work & was walking across the dance floor when all of a sudden I was in the air looking into his smiling face & he said, now you are going to talk to me.If a girl wanted dreams to come true, that was the night! Magical! He took me aside & had this hr long convo saying that he likes me, why won't I talk to him, told me about stuff i have worn in the past and sone etc then kissed me. The rest of the night we didn't leave each others side & if I stepped out of view, he was always looking for me & came & got me. I said all night, we are not sleeping together & he agreed but 1 too many drinks & i did back at my house. He kept saying that we would be the big camp romance & is moving into my room and asking if um sungle and told me he is and rhat he is shy and never wanted to be qith a girl from camp until me and etc however both of us are super private & don't want people knowing for gossip. he just does his own thing, works out alot, does not like gossip, he left in the morning quickly as he had to go to watch his sons football game. but didn't get my number & called out as he shut the door, don't forget I'm moving in! I went back to camp earlier than him then a week later he arrived & nothing! He just ignored me for a day then approached me & made small talk & a joke then left. Next time I saw him he ignored me then 2 mornings later, it was his bday. he told me that night out what he would like on his bday so i suggested it & gave him my room number & took off. he did not show! that took alot of guts to do that, i never do stuff like that esp not to people i don't really know or in a relationship with but it just came out. A couple of days later he came up behind me & told me he is really sick but did not mention anything about his bday but i just been rejected so was hurt so i was abrupt walked away. Then 2 days later I had a few drinks & found him in the hall & said he he must be happy I'm going on a break so he can stop avoiding and ignoring me. He came to my room & i just let loose. I was so worked up since I like him so much everything came out about me being confused & I don't know what's going on. He remembers the whole night except that convo but he was sober then and I could see he was lying. He said I was overthinking and everything is fine. The poor guy really copped it. Can't believe he didn't walk out. He just grabed me and sat me down and cuddled. I came back to work & 1morning he came up to me at breakfast & was I think still drunk & playing & flirting with me in front of everyone. The rest of the time,lots of staring at me but no talking then I went to go on a break again & got really drunk & in front of about 20 people, as he walked by, I yelled his name & chased him then was mortified & ran off. Him being private would of hated that! He went then to an area I go to where he never goes, my friends were there said he stood there for 10 min with a friend & left. My friends there think he was looking for me. i know he would of overheard me later that nite i really like him as I rounded the corner and he was coming out of the laundry and would of heard everything. It was a lot of drunken words and feeling pouring out. He is now back at camp and for the first time in 9 months, moved to as far away as one could get, changed his routine (ours used to be the same) and ignores me (but still looks at me, checks me out) but is really avoiding me I know it sounds like we drink a lot but really that morning at breakfast, he has never done that. He is very much into fitness and I have both times just to talk to him. I hope he does not think I am always like that. From some things he has said, I think he has been very hurt, one of his friends told me that too but I don't like men his much as I am the same which is way I have been acting like a complete crazy. This is only the second time in 35 years I have felt like this with a man. He is the most beautiful looking man, my low self esteem did not help the matter and I cannot figure out why he is so shy and has low self esteem when he looks like that but what I really like about him is his soul. You can see it shine, he is calm and a good person and everyone always wants a bit of his time! I've scared him, this is not me. I kind of lost it as I don't know how I'm supposed to act and i dont know how to deal with these emotions. its hard to think uour dream guy is slipping away. It's hard to talk with people always around you and I am scared of my feelings and hope I can show him the way I have acted is not me. I just want a chance for him to see me. Please how do I fix me being a crazy moment? Sorry it long.....please help!!!
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