red shoes Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Is 15 years too big an age gap, if the two people are in their 30s and 50s? I feel it's a bit too big and I'm not sure I want to be seen with such an older guy. No offense and I'm sure there are many happy couples in that age gap. I'm just wondering. Views? Personal stories?
Veronica2025 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Is 15 years too big an age gap, if the two people are in their 30s and 50s? I feel it's a bit too big and I'm not sure I want to be seen with such an older guy. No offense and I'm sure there are many happy couples in that age gap. I'm just wondering. Views? Personal stories? When it bothers you to this degree. If you would be ashamed to be seen with him, spare him the hurt. Personally, it can appear creepy at some spaces in age and 15 years is just about maximum for me. There's a lot of life and experience in 15 years and I would wonder about the intentions of a man seeking out women much younger than himself. 1
Author red shoes Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 When it bothers you to this degree. If you would be ashamed to be seen with him, spare him the hurt. Personally, it can appear creepy at some spaces in age and 15 years is just about maximum for me. There's a lot of life and experience in 15 years and I would wonder about the intentions of a man seeking out women much younger than himself. I don't quite doubt his intentions. At least not straightaway. Since I'm not a spring chicken at my age. I'm sure he'll have a lot of experience to share and worldly advice that I may appreciate, but I'm not totally attracted to him (at least his photos) and it makes me wonder how people might see us. Even if I shouldn't worry about others' opinions of me.
StanMusial Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I don't quite doubt his intentions. At least not straightaway. Since I'm not a spring chicken at my age. I'm sure he'll have a lot of experience to share and worldly advice that I may appreciate, but I'm not totally attracted to him (at least his photos) and it makes me wonder how people might see us. Even if I shouldn't worry about others' opinions of me. Christ Almighty. You don't even know this person.
Author red shoes Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 Christ Almighty. You don't even know this person. Your point being? That I should give it a try? Or nip it in the bud?
RedRobin Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I don't quite doubt his intentions. At least not straightaway. Since I'm not a spring chicken at my age. I'm sure he'll have a lot of experience to share and worldly advice that I may appreciate, but I'm not totally attracted to him (at least his photos) and it makes me wonder how people might see us. Even if I shouldn't worry about others' opinions of me. There are lots of older men you can meet who you can learn from. You just don't need to be having sex with them. It's not their fault, though, that a lot of these men can't have healthy friendships or mentoring relationships with much younger women. Our culture encourages the idea that women are just there for sex... if you agree with this, then go ahead. I personally refuse to date much older men because I refuse to keep this little tradition going. Even if you did agree to having a relationship... your life is still on the upswing... his has plateaued and is on the down-swing. 50's is where a lot of people, men in particular, drop off the cliff healthwise and in other ways. Why do you want to waste what is left of your youth with an older man? If he is so lonely, he can seek out women his own age or older who share his issues. The fact that he isn't or hasn't... well, ask yourself why. Unless you have lower than average sex drive, and welcome the idea of taking care of an older man's health... in addition to the issues you mention above, then yea. Pass. Much older men aren't necessarily more faithful or better at anything. They are just older.
Author red shoes Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 There are lots of older men you can meet who you can learn from. You just don't need to be having sex with them. It's not their fault, though, that a lot of these men can't have healthy friendships or mentoring relationships with much younger women. Our culture encourages the idea that women are just there for sex... if you agree with this, then go ahead. I personally refuse to date much older men because I refuse to keep this little tradition going. I don't judge this but I didn't know or think women are just there for sex. But I wouldn't want to be there only for that purpose. Why do you say many of these men can't have healthy friendships or mentoring relationships with much younger women? Even if you did agree to having a relationship... your life is still on the upswing... his has plateaued and is on the down-swing. 50's is where a lot of people, men in particular, drop off the cliff healthwise and in other ways. Why do you want to waste what is left of your youth with an older man? If he is so lonely, he can seek out women his own age or older who share his issues. The fact that he isn't or hasn't... well, ask yourself why. Maybe he's chatting up other women closer to his age on the OLD website. That I won't know and don't need to care at this stage. I've dated older men but never someone this much older. I'm still a young at heart so what you described bothers me. Unless you have lower than average sex drive, and welcome the idea of taking care of an older man's health... in addition to the issues you mention above, then yea. Pass. Much older men aren't necessarily more faithful or better at anything. They are just older. LOL. I would have thought much older men wouldn't care much about superficial things, like how I look when I wake up in the morning. No?
CarrieT Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 When I was in my 20s and 30s, I LOVED dating older men. I really and seriously wanted one but it never happened as a Long Term Relationship (I was more of a plaything to them). Then, in my 40s, I had a partner who was a decade younger than me and that didn't last either. There were too many sociological and generational references he wouldn't "get." I would talk about things that happened in the late 60s or early 70s which were life-framing events for me (landing on the moon) when he hadn't even been born yet. Those sorts of differences ultimately made me realize that a long-term relationship is better based on contemporary experiences. Yes, there are those who can and do establish relationships with others with vast age differences, but for most, I don't think it is a great idea... 1
Author red shoes Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 When I was in my 20s and 30s, I LOVED dating older men. I really and seriously wanted one but it never happened as a Long Term Relationship (I was more of a plaything to them). Then, in my 40s, I had a partner who was a decade younger than me and that didn't last either. There were too many sociological and generational references he wouldn't "get." I would talk about things that happened in the late 60s or early 70s which were life-framing events for me (landing on the moon) when he hadn't even been born yet. Those sorts of differences ultimately made me realize that a long-term relationship is better based on contemporary experiences. Yes, there are those who can and do establish relationships with others with vast age differences, but for most, I don't think it is a great idea... I've dated men a decade older than me when I was in my 20s and early 30s. Quite enjoyed it. It must be because at that time they were at most in their late 30s or early 40s, which could still be considered "young." But at my age, while not young, I don't know if I'll have anything in common with someone in his 50s. I'm not one to not give something a go before giving up on it. But this, I'm leaning toward that.
gaius Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I had a crush on a woman in her 60's and I'm in my 20's. I wouldn't have cared about being seen in public with her either. But since you don't feel comfortable with that I guess 15 years is too much for you. That's the only real limitation with age gaps, how concerned you are with what other people think. Connections can be made between people of any age.
Author red shoes Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 I had a crush on a woman in her 60's and I'm in my 20's. I wouldn't have cared about being seen in public with her either. But since you don't feel comfortable with that I guess 15 years is too much for you. That's the only real limitation with age gaps, how concerned you are with what other people think. Connections can be made between people of any age. Forty years in difference! What attracted you to her? My friends think I don't like him enough to overlook what other people think. That if I'm head over heels, I wouldn't care how other people see us. I guess there's some truth in it.
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