If you had access to your ex email would you look?

[Think too much]

Hi everyone! I am new here but I have way too much thinking time on my hands. I love the human mind and I am very curious and what people think and why they think it.

 

So here is my question to all of you...

 

If you had access to your ex email account would you look to see who they are getting emails from? or do you let the past stay in the past?

[Fayebelle]

Plus I believe in respecting EVERYONE's privacy.

[LittleMiss]

I wouldn't look. That's his business now and it would be wrong for me to think that I had a right to look through his e-mail. If he was my ex then it wouldn't really matter to me anyways.

[bluechocolate]

If you had access to your ex email would you look?

 

No.

[tiki]

No thanks. That's none of my beeswax.

 

Hope my ex isn't checking MY email.

[Think too much]

I personally think it crosses the line to obsession and stems from not being able to let go.

 

A friend of mine told me she checked her ex's email because she felt used and wanted to see if he had been cheating on her. I just wondered if others had done it or would do it if they could.

[savethedrama4allama]

I guess I'm the only freako here. Maybe.

 

Depends on how recent of an ex. I might look to see if he had been cheating before the breakup or to see if he had moved on with someone else "too quickly."

 

Beyond a month or so, no I wouldn't look.

[whichwayisup]

NO way! Only would cause hurt feelings and bring up old hurts. No point. Move on, let the past be the past.

 

This goes the same way about 'wishing to read people's minds...' It is best not to know cuz it will probably end up just hurting ones feelings...

[Anais]

Believe me guys I am not that bad person but I would look.

Just too curious nature! Take it or leave. Or you want me to die from curiosity? I am not as perfect as you all.

[kellydontwanttasleep]

i wouldn't. but at work my boss has me check the people on the night crews computers. e-mails, im's and where they go on the net.

[YellowLioness]

If it was like a week after a really strange break up, then I'd look. If I had suspicions of him cheating, sure, I'd take a peek. If I did find evidence, I'd probably copy and paste the e-mail in some folder, but I wouldn't bring it up unless he did.

 

I'd keep the e-mail to remind myself to be more cautious.

 

However, if I had the chance to peek now...I wouldn't do it. It would bring up way too many bad memories for me. Best to leave that buried in the past.

[Fayebelle]

Originally posted by kellydontwanttasleep

i wouldn't. but at work my boss has me check the people on the night crews computers. e-mails, im's and where they go on the net.

 

 

I think that is a huge invasion of privacy as well.

[tiki]

Faye:

 

I think as long as you are on their computer and on their time, they can do what they please. Or so I've heard.

[kellydontwanttasleep]

i think it sucks too but i have to do it. the owner doesn't care, it's the director of operations who makes me do it.

[bluechocolate]

I think that is a huge invasion of privacy as well.

 

The work place is not a "private" environment. It may not be nice but if it's not your property & not on your time then there is no invasion of privacy.

[Crux-]

Well, I looked after we broke-up to see if she was really sleeping with the next door neighbor. I felt horrible but need the closer, I looked with her brother beside me to show I did not do anything out of malcontent for her.

 

Out of the 3 years and 4 years before I would never have done such a thing, but what she did and continued to do by calling me and lying to me, making me feel guilty needed to stop...

 

I post the e-mail to her car with a letter and just then her next door neighbor (I mean Guy she was cheating on me with) walk out onto her patio...

 

I would have originally said no, and next time not use an e-mail account with my GF. Although I am glade I got the truth in her own words...

Hypocrite or not

Crux-

[Adunaphel]

If I had just been dumped with an explanation I did not buy, I'd look.

If I no longer cared about my ex, I'd tell him that I know his pw, and advise him to change it because otherwise I might be tempted to look. Fair warning.

[surfergirl]

NO - I wouldn't care.

[Anais]

I am sorry I hurried to answer and didn’t see the word “Ex”. I wouldn’t care about ex. Ex is an ex.

[Love2share]

But I wouldn't advise it to anyone. My break up with my ex was based on suspicions that I'd had of him cheating. One day, I found the PW to his email account. I checked it, and discovered that he was definately flirting with two other women, if not cheating on me with them. I mean, he was asking them out on dates and telling them how much he really wanted to spend "quality" time with them. And they were accepting the offers.

 

I dumped him the same day that I saw that, because the emails were very recent. He and I had been in an LDR for almost a year. I never told him about the emails. Before I broke up with him, I gave him the opportunity to come clean. I asked if he had been dating other people while we were apart. He lied. Then he insulted me and said that I was insecure.

 

A few days after the break up, I checked his email again just to see how things were going. Sure enough. He made it official with one of the females who had been begging him to be her man. He had absolutely no remorse for losing me at all. I was very hurt. But I never checked his email again.

 

Until recently. It's been 3 months of no contact with him. I changed my phone number. But he sent me an email last week telling me how much he misses me. He was surprised that I'd changed the number. But he wanted me to call him so that we can make plans to see each other. Before I called him, I checked his email and discovered that he is still dating that same female. They are engaged to get married. And he spent $3,500 on a diamond ring for her.

 

I called him just to see what he would say. I asked how things were going. He lied about having a girlfriend. He actually said that he hasn't dated anyone since our break up!!! Ane he's still single. He said that he's been missing me too much. And now he wants to see me so that we can spend some time together. Soon! He's very impatient about seeing me. But he hasn't told me about his fiance. And I haven't told him I know about her.

 

If I never had access to his email, I wouldn't know what to think. I would think that he's sincere about everything he's saying about missing me. I would probably fall for him again, and get hurt again. So I believe it's okay to invade someone's privacy, if that person could possibly hurt you. But it's not wise to make a habbit of checking the email if you are not involved with that person anymore. That would definately lead to some kind of unhealthy obsession and make it harder for you to move on.

[Crux-]

Love2share,

 

I am so glade that I am not the only one who had to catch a liar…You should let him know and his girlfriend how sick they are…Plus it gives you closer…

 

You know what type of person he is so why not tell him and move on…

[Haunani]

Yes and No.........

 

If he was the one that broke it off with me, yes, cause I'd want to know the REAL reason why, if there was one, but I'd be afraid of what I'd find.

 

If I were the one that broke it off - NO, I shouldn't care anyway.

 

Is this the same thing for voice mail and pager numbers that you don't know whom they belong, that call at weird hours, like always when you're gone, or late at night? Would you check if you could?

[Love2share]

Crux-

 

Yes I know what type of person he is. But it doesn't do any good to tell him, because he would just deny it and insult me. Breaking up with him was a sure way to let him know that I don't like who he is.

 

He's a very manipulative person. He will take advantage of anyone who can be taken advantage of. Most of his ex-girlfriends were those needy, clingly types with low self esteem. And he kept close tabs on all of them while we were dating. That always made me insecure.

 

Now that I'm on the ex-girlfriend list of his life, I see exactly how he is. Right now, he's telling his current girfriend that I'm just a friend. And she is sending him angry emails expressing her insecurity about me, the same as I used to do about his ex's he called "friends."

 

I assumed that he'd told his ex's about me (as his current girlfriend) the same as he'd told me about them. But now I see that he may not have even told them about me. That would explain why he refused to allow me to meet any of them. It was a sad situation. And if I didn't have access to that email account, I would never have known any of these things. I would probably be still with him, hurt, confused, angry, and insecure.