Leigh 87 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Guys, it only takes common sense to know that most sexually healthy normal people just go on a few dates, get to know each other, and then sleep together after 3 - 10 dates depending on their age and level of experience. Most guys do not need sex within the first 3 dates, and are happy to get o know the girl more if they like her enough and she is not a prude and alludes to being open to sex. The OP'S guy obviously did not want to get to know her enough to wait for sex. It is not about being a good guy VS being a dirt bag! It is about just learning what the normal, adult behaviour is in dating. A decent man would kindly inform his date that he was just not feelin' it, if he really needed to have sex with her right away and was not interested in getting to know her at all! A "good guy" can just be after sex also, but the decent men will be open and upfront about it. The man in the OP sounded too dishonest to just ask upfront for a casual hook up.
sweetheart5381 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Refer to post below. Based on your usage of the bolded "us," I infer that you were once in the population of women who don't respect themselves and can only offer mediocre sex. So for many of these women, they "reform" themselves and create boundaries, making them "good." So continuing along this thought path, I would conclude that the dirtbags got to have you without boundaries, while the good guys are forced to climb hurdles to get you... And is that what makes them good...? What is the draw to being "good" if the dirtbag got what the "good guy" would be getting with a lot less effort? Actually, I was referring to people in general; bisexual, homosexual and heterosexual to be exact. There are players in every field perse, and if their ultimate target is purely a physical outcome, then that is what they get. Some folks just want the skin, others want a little more meat If they want something more meaningful, then they will only get the "good stuff" when they give it. Nice try 2
USMCHokie Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Actually, I was referring to people in general; bisexual, homosexual and heterosexual to be exact. There are players in every field perse, and if their ultimate target is purely a physical outcome, then that is what they get. Some folks just want the skin, others want a little more meat If they want something more meaningful, then they will only get the "good stuff" when they give it. And the most effective players give the impression that they want the "good stuff" and offer small morsels of it which the fair lady eats up. She offers the "good stuff" tenfold to the player, i.e., the "meat," and when he gets what he was looking for, i.e., the skin, he summarily pitches away what's left. This deception is why they are seen as dirtbags, when unsuspecting people offer up everything hoping that they'll get everything in return, only to be left with nothing but a used condom. So there are ways to get all the meat you want and taking only the skin...
sweetheart5381 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Guys, it only takes common sense to know that most sexually healthy normal people just go on a few dates, get to know each other, and then sleep together after 3 - 10 dates depending on their age and level of experience. Most guys do not need sex within the first 3 dates, and are happy to get o know the girl more if they like her enough and she is not a prude and alludes to being open to sex. The OP'S guy obviously did not want to get to know her enough to wait for sex. It is not about being a good guy VS being a dirt bag! It is about just learning what the normal, adult behaviour is in dating. A decent man would kindly inform his date that he was just not feelin' it, if he really needed to have sex with her right away and was not interested in getting to know her at all! A "good guy" can just be after sex also, but the decent men will be open and upfront about it. The man in the OP sounded too dishonest to just ask upfront for a casual hook up. I agree, that's what makes him a dirtbag. He was dishonest with "dating" her. He was looking for a prostitute, tbh. Show your cards, let the other person know what you are looking for and then let them decide. That's respect. 1
sweetheart5381 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 And the most effective players give the impression that they want the "good stuff" and offer small morsels of it which the fair lady eats up. She offers the "good stuff" tenfold to the player, i.e., the "meat," and when he gets what he was looking for, i.e., the skin, he summarily pitches away what's left. This deception is why they are seen as dirtbags, when unsuspecting people offer up everything hoping that they'll get everything in return, only to be left with nothing but a used condom. So there are ways to get all the meat you want and taking only the skin... Exactly, deception. Those who deceive never actually gain any respect, and in essence lose it completely over time. Hell, we can all lie, we are human, that's our claim to fame as far as species go. Only those that choose not to deceive deserve my respect. 1
ChessPieceFace Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 A "good guy" can just be after sex also There is no such animal as you are imagining. 2
USMCHokie Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 There is no such animal as you are imagining. Hmmm, interesting thesis...
pcplod Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Well... Your post could just as easily have been from a highly-sexed woman who was bemoaning the fact that this really cute and nice guy won't f**k her despite being all 'lovely-dovey'. That's life, isn't it? Chalk-n-cheese, and all that? It simply ain't you. And he simply ain't you. I could pass judgment on him, and offer lame and ingenuous sympathetic platitudes, but I won't. And I ain't passing judgement or criticising you in saying that. It's just the way that it is. As others have said, maybe you have dodged a bullet, but more importantly it is a bullet of a colour that you don't like, and that is all that really matters. The inference of much of the criticism of this guy is that he was only looking for sex. That may well have been the case, but it is not the only conclusion that one might reach. One might conclude that actually, he was really into you, but also he was actually into the idea of sex. The two don't have to be incompatible or mutually exclusive. $h1t, we all know that; it's the awkward details that are unspoken between us that trips us up when it comes to the crunch. One thought that has crossed my mind, although it is of no consequence to your experience or personal preferences. When you were last together and being intimate in whatever fashion you may have been, did he press you for sex at the time and did you say no? If so, what was the nature of the exchange between you? If there was none of this, then his sudden 'outburst', if we can label it as such, does indeed seem strange, as in straight out of the blue. If that is the case, then I might suspect that him saying what he did is not exactly the reason why he didn't want to see you again, although as an excuse it would definitely have to be classed as one of the more bizarre ones, given the reaction he would have known it would invoke.
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