mammasita Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 So barely 2 weeks, we hung out last night, he was EXTREMELY touchy and affectionate. He tells me a couple hours ago that he feels like hes wasting time because I won't do something "as simple as sex" so he can decide whether I'm worth keeping around. WTF. before I even had a chance to respond, I was unfriended on FB. hes 32 by the way. I'm in effing shock that we could click as well as we did, that he could be the way he was last night.....and then this. Just wow. Obviously he's not right for me, I know this. Is this normal though? I've NEVER met a man like this. It's crazy and unusual to me.
spiderowl Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 So barely 2 weeks, we hung out last night, he was EXTREMELY touchy and affectionate. He tells me a couple hours ago that he feels like hes wasting time because I won't do something "as simple as sex" so he can decide whether I'm worth keeping around. WTF. before I even had a chance to respond, I was unfriended on FB. hes 32 by the way. I'm in effing shock that we could click as well as we did, that he could be the way he was last night.....and then this. Just wow. Obviously he's not right for me, I know this. Is this normal though? I've NEVER met a man like this. It's crazy and unusual to me. He's told you he's a user, incapable of empathy. He is also capable of being callous. He's not a nice guy and, yes, there are people like this around and it's a shock to meet them. There are psychopaths and sociopaths in the general population, who don't murder and commit crimes, but have the same clever but heartless and cold tactics. Sounds like you met one and I'm sorry about that. 3
Author mammasita Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 He's told you he's a user, incapable of empathy. He is also capable of being callous. He's not a nice guy and, yes, there are people like this around and it's a shock to meet them. There are psychopaths and sociopaths in the general population, who don't murder and commit crimes, but have the same clever but heartless and cold tactics. Sounds like you met one and I'm sorry about that. Its so obvious now that you say that. Ugh, so frustrating. 1
Jbum5 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Let's just be blunt: this bozo is interested in you sexually and nothing else. He tried to guilt trip you into sex by making it seem like it's a small deal. Really, he treasures what's in between your legs more than he treasures you. You just dodged a bullet - consider yourself lucky. 4
cnickd Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 So barely 2 weeks, we hung out last night, he was EXTREMELY touchy and affectionate. He tells me a couple hours ago that he feels like hes wasting time because I won't do something "as simple as sex" so he can decide whether I'm worth keeping around. WTF. before I even had a chance to respond, I was unfriended on FB. hes 32 by the way. I'm in effing shock that we could click as well as we did, that he could be the way he was last night.....and then this. Just wow. Obviously he's not right for me, I know this. Is this normal though? I've NEVER met a man like this. It's crazy and unusual to me. Yeah... be happy that he showed his true colors so soon!! You are better off with out him!! 1
tbf Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Yeah, some guys are only after sex or insist on sex to prove yourself to him. If that's the case, they're not emotionally invested. If he ever recontacts, thinking he's now softened you up with abandonment, don't respond. 2
spiderowl Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Yeah, some guys are only after sex or insist on sex to prove yourself to him. If that's the case, they're not emotionally invested. If he ever recontacts, thinking he's now softened you up with abandonment, don't respond. This is a very good point. Look up 'pick-up artist' and 'negs'. Some guys use tactics like this to manipulate women. They suddenly dump them, knowing that some will be shocked and will come back to them to try to persuade them to reconsider. Please don't fall for such nasty tactics. 4
apple OR orange Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 OR it could be you just didnt show any interest, lets face it, the reason you are with someone is sex, if your not showing this why be with someone.
KraftDinner Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 This is a very good point. Look up 'pick-up artist' and 'negs'. Some guys use tactics like this to manipulate women. They suddenly dump them, knowing that some will be shocked and will come back to them to try to persuade them to reconsider. Please don't fall for such nasty tactics. I've never heard of negs. What is that? Yes, google is broken.
Leigh 87 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Thanks for sharing:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao: I am heartbroken over my ex, and this made me laugh. WOW he sounds like he is either an idiot, or he is genuinely very busy and is sick of wasting time in finding the right girl, and wanted to find out QUICKLY if well... you were sexually compatible! either way, his behaviour shows a character flaw (self control and patience, among other things) Oh well. At least you dodged a bullet! Better luck next time!!!!!!! Man, I think I am in for some fun when I start online dating again in a couple of months!!!!!
KraftDinner Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I gotta say, the dude was honest and that's really a good thing for you that he was. Not saying he deserves a medal. I think he's a tool...but he didn't waste your time and then pull a hump n dump. So you definitely dodged a bullet. 2
Leigh 87 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 LOL I actually would have said something like: " yeah, it's probably good you didn't sleep with me, I have had a sex change in the past and I was worried it would be a deal breaker for you" " I had a feeling it would have alarmed you, when you saw that I still have a d*ck" Or something that will disgust or perturb him.
PogoStick Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 LOL I actually would have said something like: " yeah, it's probably good you didn't sleep with me, I have had a sex change in the past and I was worried it would be a deal breaker for you" " I had a feeling it would have alarmed you, when you saw that I still have a d*ck" Or something that will disgust or perturb him. Wouldn't it bother him more to send a pic of her lady parts, or in bed with a different guy?
musemaj11 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Women want romance and men want sex. Women demand men to wine and dine them and men demand women to sex them. FAIR. 1
Leigh 87 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Wouldn't it bother him more to send a pic of her lady parts, or in bed with a different guy? He doesn't care about her though, as they barley know each other.... The in bed with another man would only phase a guy if they had been in a longer relationship together and the pictures were to upset him and for revenge, if he say, cheated. I would just scare the guy if it were me LOL and he did not live in the same area as me haha.
bob the brave Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 He's a player. He would have dumped you either way, either because you had sex (he got what he wanted, so on to the next) or because you didn't (nothing for him here). Atta girl for having some integrity and not letting yourself be used. Don't be concerned by how well you clicked. I know it can hurt and be confusing. But players are very good at this. They seem like nice, fun, good friend types until they strike. He simple felt he had put in enough effort and wanted a return, when the investment didn't payoff in his time frame, he went off to try someone else. It's ok to have casual sex just for sex sake, but the thing about guys like this is they are extremely selfish. They can't and don't care about anyone, no matter how nice and affectionate they seem. 3
Teknoe Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Good. Coz he's a loser. Plain and simple. Glad you found out when you did. Move on. You're better off without him. 1
sweetheart5381 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Ya, this guy is a real winner I wonder how often he actually ever has truly enjoyable, passionate, mind-blowing, loving sex... A man who is genuinely interested in you would never pressure you into an act of intimacy that you are not ready for. A man that is caring and thoughtful will wait for both of you to be completely ready for the "next step". Respect is what makes for a great relationship, especially in the bedroom. The man I am currently in a relationship never, ever pushed for more than I was willing to offer. The first time we kissed it was very passionate (date 2) and we could have easily hit the sheets, but as soon as I told him I wanted to "go slow" he respected my wishes. We literally laughed about how hot and bothered we were over a first kiss and it deepened both our relationship and my desire for him to wait until the time was right. I think a lot of folks think there is an invisible "finish line" when it comes to sex with a new partner. Sex is not a race! 5
Teknoe Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Ya, this guy is a real winner I wonder how often he actually ever has truly enjoyable, passionate, mind-blowing, loving sex... A man who is genuinely interested in you would never pressure you into an act of intimacy that you are not ready for. A man that is caring and thoughtful will wait for both of you to be completely ready for the "next step". Respect is what makes for a great relationship, especially in the bedroom. The man I am currently in a relationship never, ever pushed for more than I was willing to offer. The first time we kissed it was very passionate (date 2) and we could have easily hit the sheets, but as soon as I told him I wanted to "go slow" he respected my wishes. We literally laughed about how hot and bothered we were over a first kiss and it deepened both our relationship and my desire for him to wait until the time was right. I think a lot of folks think there is an invisible "finish line" when it comes to sex with a new partner. Sex is not a race! Awesome. The world needs more men like your BF. 1
sweetheart5381 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Awesome. The world needs more men like your BF. Yes, I agree, my man is quite the gem And I have known plenty of jerks like the one that OP is talking about - those sort of douchebags make the good ones stand out We really should applaud dirtbags everywhere for pointing us in the right direction! 2
ChessPieceFace Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 So barely 2 weeks, we hung out last night, he was EXTREMELY touchy and affectionate. He tells me a couple hours ago that he feels like hes wasting time because I won't do something "as simple as sex" so he can decide whether I'm worth keeping around. WTF. before I even had a chance to respond, I was unfriended on FB. hes 32 by the way. I'm in effing shock that we could click as well as we did, that he could be the way he was last night.....and then this. Just wow. Obviously he's not right for me, I know this. Is this normal though? I've NEVER met a man like this. It's crazy and unusual to me. Different people have different expectations. I personally see the value of waiting for sex but I can also see wanting to avoid women who might be frigid or taking advantage of me in any number of ways while giving back nothing physical. I'm not really sure how long I'd wait... I've never even gotten past date 1 (if that) so to me it's entirely theoretical. Pretty sure I would wait a couple of months... unless there was crazy mutual chemistry I guess. If he calls sex "simple" and requires it before even making a decision about keeping you, then he basically has very low moral character. It's not necessarily wrong for someone to have it as a requirement, but he phrased the sentiment in a very rude and obnoxious way. I wouldn't waste more time worrying about this guy. He's gross. 1
USMCHokie Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Yes, I agree, my man is quite the gem And I have known plenty of jerks like the one that OP is talking about - those sort of douchebags make the good ones stand out We really should applaud dirtbags everywhere for pointing us in the right direction! But the dilemma is whether a guy chooses to be a dirtbag or the good one...because the dirtbag gets his too, before the good one gets his turn...so what's the draw to being a good one...?
sweetheart5381 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 But the dilemma is whether a guy chooses to be a dirtbag or the good one...because the dirtbag gets his too, before the good one gets his turn...so what's the draw to being a good one...? The good one gets the good stuff The dirtbag gets the dirt. The dirtbag can have plenty of mediocre sex with women that don't respect themselves. If a woman doesn't respect herself enough to have boundaries, how can she ever respect anyone else? If a man wants respect, he will be the good one and give it as well. Pretty simple
USMCHokie Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 The good one gets the good stuff The dirtbag gets the dirt. The dirtbag can have plenty of mediocre sex with women that don't respect themselves. If a woman doesn't respect herself enough to have boundaries, how can she ever respect anyone else? If a man wants respect, he will be the good one and give it as well. Pretty simple Refer to post below. Based on your usage of the bolded "us," I infer that you were once in the population of women who don't respect themselves and can only offer mediocre sex. So for many of these women, they "reform" themselves and create boundaries, making them "good." So continuing along this thought path, I would conclude that the dirtbags got to have you without boundaries, while the good guys are forced to climb hurdles to get you... And is that what makes them good...? What is the draw to being "good" if the dirtbag got what the "good guy" would be getting with a lot less effort? And I have known plenty of jerks like the one that OP is talking about - those sort of douchebags make the good ones stand out We really should applaud dirtbags everywhere for pointing us in the right direction!
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