myriam5182 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Okay I went on this date with someone I met online dating, the first date was total butterflies he wanted to see me again it was great, second date we went to the movies, that went great so great he wanted to see me again on Sunday! Well that felt more awkward that date, I think I tried to open up to him more and I felt like the buzzkill dunno..... well we both wanted to kiss since the first date lol soooo we did on the third. 2 Things happened after that kiss.... one the mystery was over... second while we were kissing he put his hand on my knee and I kinda freaked out because I know what that usually leads to and I wasnt going down that route Im not that girl.... not the the 3rd date not the 5th Im old school (im 31) waiting is important to me! I really dig this guy but now since I feel like I jumped back during the kiss and just left(yes I freaked out I just got out of a 6 year relationship a year and a half ago) Im just not that girl..... well he texted me the next day like late in the day I had a great time... but it felt like it was just a courtesy text well I didnt hear from him until a week later he wished me a happy mothers day... and than the rest of the week goes by (so its almost 2 weeks at this point) he sends me a text(on Friday if I had plans ) which I did I made a weekend all for my son so he wants to see me next weekend than I said definitely.... I explained so you guys have the jist of this.... I cant imagine that hes that into me.....? I cant imagine its normal that he doesnt text me anymore during the week at all, I can tell hes the shopping around guy, I really dig him so it sucks hes like exactly what I was looking for... any advice / thoughts are appreciated!
Author myriam5182 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 Ive been out of the dating game so long this playing the field right sucks.... from what I remember if a guy likes you he has no problem showing it... Im so turned off by the no texting no contact that Im considering cutting it. I really digged him bummer!
spiderowl Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Some guys will push it because all they are really seeking is sex as fast as possible. Some guys will try it on because they want to see how far they can go or because they feel you will assume they are not a 'real man' if they don't make a move. It's hard to tell what kind of guy he is. He could just have been worried by your response and thought you didn't like him. He could have been a user who was wondering if it would take too long to get you into bed. It seems he followed up to say he had a great time, so he's still interested. It's up to you to set the pace. If you are uncomfortable with going further than he wants, then stop him. If he keeps pushing it or tries to pressure you, and you've explained your position, then you need to rethink if he's right for you. As you like the guy, then I would think it's worth keeping in touch with him and getting together once more at least to see if you get on well again and maybe to discuss boundaries. If he's clearly not interested in your feelings on such matters, then don't waste time on him. I know how you feel and it does feel disrespectful if a guy tries it on too soon. The only thing I can see is that, after reading endless forums, I've learned that guys don't know what to try and when and often get castigated by other guys for moving too slow. Maybe if he has an idea of your expectations, he will be able to be more relaxed about this too. 1
Author myriam5182 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 Thanks for that break down! My biggest worry was if he was just in it to get it (which every guy is its understandable) Im going to try one more date with him. I just thought it was awkward that I dont hear from him at all now that to me just isnt normal. Than I remember fuuudge, I like ... jumped out of his car when his hand landed on my knee..... and I didnt initiate any contact after that. I was embarrassed for jumping out and than wondering if its just sex that hes after.... Im a relationship girl, I see him as the "shopper" type..... eh we'll see Ill give it one more date before calling it off..... Thanks Spiderowl!
FitChick Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Are you a virgin? A time traveler from Victorian times? A hand on the knee made you freak out? You're in your thirties? 1
ChessPieceFace Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Ive been out of the dating game so long this playing the field right sucks.... from what I remember if a guy likes you he has no problem showing it... I don't agree with that generalization. Also, people are individuals. People show interest in different ways and sometimes don't show it much at all. I can tell hes the shopping around guy, I really dig him so it sucks hes like exactly what I was looking for... Once again I wonder if this is the same freaking pattern - women going after players then lamenting over the fact that they are players. Why is he exactly what you were looking for? Maybe exactly because he's confident and taking charge, trying to "go for it" early? Whatever, figure it out. 1
sillyanswer Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 second while we were kissing he put his hand on my knee and I kinda freaked out because I know what that usually leads to and I wasnt going down that route Im not that girl.... Not what girl? well he texted me the next day like late in the day I had a great time... but it felt like it was just a courtesy text well I didnt hear from him until a week later he wished me a happy mothers day... and than the rest of the week goes by (so its almost 2 weeks at this point) Unless you forgot to tell us, it also sounds like he didn't hear from you until a week later as well. Did you reply to his text? Did you text him during the week at all? Did you know that your phone can also make these old fashioned things called phone calls? I'm guessing that he thinks you aren't interested.
soccerrprp Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 It appears that he's still interested. You should do what you planned, give it another go and see where this guy's head is. And like sillyanswer, did you respond to his last text? It wasn't clear whether you had. You must have to be perturbed that he hadn't contacted during the week, right? Anyway, how do you know that he's "exactly" what you're looking for? Based on his profile and three dates? You say that you can tell that he's the "shopping around" type. How do you know? Just be more attentive during the next date. Perhaps have some questions that may help you better understand where this guy is coming from would be helpful? Good luck.
Author myriam5182 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 No its the fact that he was dorky, educated and not all rough and tough! Thats what drew me to him what I was looking for, been there done that!
Author myriam5182 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 Yes I did respond to his texts every time! What intrigued me what I look for, like I mentioned above he was dorky, educated etcc.... the reason I say hes shopping around he mentioned to me on our first date that he had just signed up to another websites things like that plus our dates sometimes are 2-3 weeks spaced! sometimes it panes out that way cause of myself as well since Im a mom, I dont like taking off every weekend . Well overall I am going to try one more date with him and see how it goes! Thanks guys!
Author myriam5182 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 Yeah, there's nothing that endears you MORE to a guy than acting like a naive, nervous, virginal 15 year old girl who runs for the hills when someone touches her knee. Good lord, you're over 30???? No wonder the guy stopped being interested. Stop acting like a kid and grow up. Grow up? What was I supposed to spread em? If you have nothing nice to say dont respond thanks.
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Some guys will push it because all they are really seeking is sex as fast as possible. Some guys will try it on because they want to see how far they can go or because they feel you will assume they are not a 'real man' if they don't make a move. It's hard to tell what kind of guy he is. He could just have been worried by your response and thought you didn't like him. He could have been a user who was wondering if it would take too long to get you into bed. Yes. All this is true. Especially the bolded. For men sometimes, it's like a game to see if they can get you. And once they get you, then they decide if they really like you. And if they don't, then it will be heartbreak for the woman. But it's not their fault really. If women were less shallow and more open to the approach of becoming attracted to a man over time, then more men would genuinely get to know and decide whether they actually like a woman before pulling out game to get her. 1
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