adidadi129 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 My situation is this. I met a guy through facebook. He messaged me asked me for my number and immediately started txting me. We hit it off. Sweet guy, funny, kind,respectful. He was always the first one to contact me saying good morning and we would talk everyday all day. We went on our 1st date to the movies, but I am 25 and my parents are strict, so I had to go with my sisters. Of course, me and him went our own way to a seperate screening. We had a blast, he kept smiling and making a lot of eye contact. After the date, he texted me asking me if I enjoyed the date and so forth. The day after, he started acting a lil different but we still kept talking. We continued to talk and hung out again at a party. After that he came to my house and we chilled outside and talked. He came again and we hung out again. Good right? Ok so I feel like this is when things started going wrong. He is a very handsome guy that A LOT of girls like. I had noticed that his ex gf that lives in California started posting on his wall things like "I miss you cant wait to see you" but he never responded and I started worrying but didn't let it phase me because she lived in Cali and we live in another state. I tend to be that girl that needs reassurance because of my past relationship. Well weeks went by and we kept talking but there was an occasion where he didn't text me in the evening. Anxiety got the best of me and I started blowing up his phone. The next day I did not text him and he did. He was very calm and told me that he didn't like the fact that I blew up his phone that he didn't like it. I asked him to forgive me and he did. Now, he started acting more distant and well I started worrying he was interested in someone else and started asking him if he was losing interest and he would tell me no to not be thinking negative. Now about a week or 2, he posted a pic on his instagram with a girl, that he claims to be his "friend". I flipped because that day he didn't respond to my txts and he told me that what was i thinking in my head that i was tripping out. The next day we talked again but i was still very mad and kept nagging at him telling him if he was with her and he told me that he was single and did not have a gf. He asked me to chill and to stop tripping and he needed his space. I told him ok and well I stopped textig him. I asked him to forgive me for flipping out on him and he forgave me. Now its been about a week that i havent txted him and I just dont know if i pushed him away and is not interested in me because im too needy and am not able to go out with him by myself. I feel guilty everyday and I just wish he could give me another chance to prove to him I have changed. What to do?:(
aisuru Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 It's time to work on your insecurities or you will continue this cycle. You cannot wrap your self worth in anther human being, especially men. Most men do not want a girl who is insecure or needy. The ones that do should be the ones you run from. Don't interact with this guy until you can get your emotions under control.
Author adidadi129 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 I am thats why Im giving him the space and working on myself but do you think he's not interested or just letting me cool down? How long would be good to be in no contact with him?
aisuru Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I can tell you his interest in you is probably not the same as it was in the beginning and that each time you display an insecure behavior, he likes you less and less. I think in your situation, you go no contact at least a month, ideally until you get a grip on your self esteem/insecurity issues which take more than months and months to address.
Author adidadi129 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 Yes totally I understand that. I have tried to keep busy to not text him or bother him or anything. I just hope he doesnt hate me. I just want him to realize I have changed but I guess I do have to not contact him even though the thoughts of him talking to other girls invades me.
aisuru Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 You will continue thinking about him for awhile. It's hard to let go sometimes, even when we know it's the right thing. Change comes slowly, no matter how much we're doing to make it happen. Talk to your friends, write here, but don't text him. Set a goal of one month of NO CONTACT. That means not responding to him when he reaches out to you either. Time to put yourself first so you can be the type of person you want to be with.
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