Rubix123 Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 I'm feeling so depressed... I miss my boyfriend sooooo much! We live 5 hours apart and see each other every 2 weeks. I know that's probably more than some people who live 2/3 hours apart..... But I just wanna be with him all the time... I hate being away from him for 2 weeks, 2 weeks is nothing I know but I just wanna live with him...move in with him. We're just been together over a year and I know that's not so long but I love him so much, and I just can't stand being apart from him. I know I'm young I'm 22, and ever since we had sex I've felt myself become really clingy to him. He says he wants what I want just as much an expresses this too it with uni it takes up so much of our time... We met on the Internet and I can never live without him in my life. He's just my everything and I am his. I just feel so emotional and cry cos I miss him so much I know I'm probably gonna get some weird comments just wanted to spill my wart out somewhere and I don't know why I'm so emotional we have lovely times together and Skype all the time and phone call I just get so upset I can't be with him face to face all the time.
justwhoiam Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 This happens probably because your life revolves around him right now... I know this because I tend to do that too when I'm really involved and into someone so bad. I guess other women do that too, but I have no idea how common that is. It just depends on how deep it gets... and your perceptions about him and the relationship. First thing, you need to see things in perspective. As you said, there are couples who cannot meet for several months in a row. You get to see him twice a month! Not bad at all, trust me. So when you feel low thinking oh... I'll see him in 8 days, start thinking: wow! Only 8 days and we're together again!!! It could have been 4 months! But it's just 8 silly days! And if you think the time you need to wait is too much, think of all the things you need to do before seeing him, make a list! Like: I need to wax, get my hair done, grow my nails, paint my nails, decide what places to go to, what new things to do together... (the list can get very long........) Also, when you realize you're thinking of him every second 24/7, try to focus on something else. Put some of your energy into some project you want to work on and do your best with it. I guess that's all. And enough. And you'll feel great. Keep the sadness for when you have a bad argument or have to face something apparently unovercomable. 1
Author Rubix123 Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 This happens probably because your life revolves around him right now... I know this because I tend to do that too when I'm really involved and into someone so bad. I guess other women do that too, but I have no idea how common that is. It just depends on how deep it gets... and your perceptions about him and the relationship. First thing, you need to see things in perspective. As you said, there are couples who cannot meet for several months in a row. You get to see him twice a month! Not bad at all, trust me. So when you feel low thinking oh... I'll see him in 8 days, start thinking: wow! Only 8 days and we're together again!!! It could have been 4 months! But it's just 8 silly days! And if you think the time you need to wait is too much, think of all the things you need to do before seeing him, make a list! Like: I need to wax, get my hair done, grow my nails, paint my nails, decide what places to go to, what new things to do together... (the list can get very long........) Also, when you realize you're thinking of him every second 24/7, try to focus on something else. Put some of your energy into some project you want to work on and do your best with it. I guess that's all. And enough. And you'll feel great. Keep the sadness for when you have a bad argument or have to face something apparently unovercomable. Hey! Thanks! You are totally right 8 silly days... Not that long really sometimes can feel like day in and day out just waiting for the time I can see him. My parents aren't keen on him staying over yet :/ which is really annoying. Although his parents will allow me on holiday with them in a sa few weeks time. Do you think my parents are being too strict? It's not like I'm asking to e in the sake bed... I'd be completely fine with the sofa but they still think its too soon. I don't know of they know how serious we are but I do show them and tell them how I feel etc they just seem to be like 'been there done that' or always find something to pick up about him, they always were picking flaws with my friends too. If annoys me sooooo much :/ why can't they just not saying anything if they don't have anything nice to SU. They weren't bad people. Anyway thank you for the advice! Ill try putting that energy into good use like a project or uni, etc Still miss him like mad though He's my life. <3
justwhoiam Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 (edited) Hey! My parents aren't keen on him staying over yet :/ which is really annoying. I guess they are doing the right thing. I'm not sure how long you've been together with him, but just give them some time to see if the relationship works. I would say after the first year, he could stay at your place. Maybe in a different room, if there are younger people in the house. But as you're 22, I think it's best your bf gets a room in a hotel. So that you can have some privacy too. Over time, when he's just one of the family, your parents will be comfortable enough to leave the house and trust him. They could leave for a long weekend so you can spend time with him at home. It'd be nice for you to experience some real life with him as if you two were living together: cooking, doing the laundry, etc. Although his parents will allow me on holiday with them in a sa few weeks time. Do you think my parents are being too strict? Don't judge your parents so severely while sanctifying your potential inlaws. Never forget your inlaws have a son, and parents tend to watch out more with a daughter. It's reasonable, and wise. But now you're too young to understand. My parents have always been open, and I would get almost all the freedom I wanted. But if I had introduced a guy I met online, they would have been very suspicious and wary. I'm not sure if you met him locally then went LD. But if it started LD, maybe that's also why. I do show them and tell them how I feel etc they just seem to be like 'been there done that' It's probably true, they've already gone through anything you're experiencing now. Maybe they feel he's not going to be in your life long-term... But it's just normal for you to defend him, I'd be like that too. About criticizing, or gossiping, that's a personality trait, which I don't like. I wouldn't give it too much attention. If it lacks attention, it dies. But you might try to educate them on that. I remember what my mom did once, that was very mean. A guy called home asking for me, my mom answered the call and she came to me imitating his voice just having fun, as he couldn't roll his Rs, I was soo embarassed by her behavior! And worried he heard everything.......... he was not my boyfriend anyway, but not a good reason to make fun of him all the same. After the call, I gave her a good telling-off. She didn't imagine it could be bad... but she understood, and never did that anymore. Parents learn. Just like kids do. Edited May 19, 2013 by justwhoiam 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 It's definitely hard to be apart from someone when you care so much about them. I know the pain of separation! How does your boyfriend feel about living together? You mentioned that you really want to move in with him; does he want this as well? (sorry if I missed this in your post somewhere) Just be sure to keep some focus on yourself too. Making him the centre of your universe isn't healthy for a relationship...look after your own needs at the same time.
Author Rubix123 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 I guess they are doing the right thing. I'm not sure how long you've been together with him, but just give them some time to see if the relationship works. I would say after the first year, he could stay at your place. Maybe in a different room, if there are younger people in the house. We have been in a relationship a year but have been friends for 2 years. It's not as if they don't like him just sometimes they can be a bit bitter about it and not understand how serious we are. I guess time is the answer I am an only child. Maybe that could be why too lol. But as you're 22, I think it's best your bf gets a room in a hotel. So that you can have some privacy too. Over time, when he's just one of the family, your parents will be comfortable enough to leave the house and trust him. They could leave for a long weekend so you can spend time with him at home. It'd be nice for you to experience some real life with him as if you two were living together: cooking, doing the laundry, etc. thanks. I wish I would love that to happen hopefully it will be. I find it very 'pot calling the kettle black' that my mum only married my dad a year of knowing him. He may live so far away but I see him more than she did see my dad and she had a long distance relationship aswell. Don't judge your parents so severely while sanctifying your potential inlaws. Never forget your inlaws have a son, and parents tend to watch out more with a daughter. It's reasonable, and wise. But now you're too young to understand. My parents have always been open, and I would get almost all the freedom I wanted. But if I had introduced a guy I met online, they would have been very suspicious and wary. I'm not sure if you met him locally then went LD. But if it started LD, maybe that's also why. Yes I did meet him online, only my mum knows and i did meet him without telling her but we did Skype before me met a lot and phone calls etc i did tell her after I met him and she was angry for a while she's over it now:) It's probably true, they've already gone through anything you're experiencing now. Maybe they feel he's not going to be in your life long-term... But it's just normal for you to defend him, I'd be like that too. About criticizing, or gossiping, that's a personality trait, which I don't like. I wouldn't give it too much attention. If it lacks attention, it dies. But you might try to educate them on that. I remember what my mom did once, that was very mean. A guy called home asking for me, my mom answered the call and she came to me imitating his voice just having fun, as he couldn't roll his Rs, I was soo embarassed by her behavior! And worried he heard everything.......... he was not my boyfriend anyway, but not a good reason to make fun of him all the same. After the call, I gave her a good telling-off. She didn't imagine it could be bad... but she understood, and never did that anymore. Parents learn. Just like kids do. thank you but we are serious 100% hehe oh that's just mums for you though I'm sorry to hear I guess we will understand some day lol [/QUOtE]
Author Rubix123 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Posted May 19, 2013 It's definitely hard to be apart from someone when you care so much about them. I know the pain of separation! How does your boyfriend feel about living together? You mentioned that you really want to move in with him; does he want this as well? (sorry if I missed this in your post somewhere) Just be sure to keep some focus on yourself too. Making him the centre of your universe isn't healthy for a relationship...look after your own needs at the same time. Thanks it is. I've been crying m y eyes out cause I miss him so much I just feel so depressed and clingy to him right now. Yeah you are right I have Hobbes and friends and family I spent time with too It's ok yeah he wants to aswell but we have university atm.
Treasa Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 It could be a combination of the fact that your parents pay the bills, not you (otherwise I assume you'd be living on your own), and maybe they see how clingy you are, and don't think it's good for you. Rightly so. You need to start filling up your life more. School, job, hobbies, whatever. 1
Author Rubix123 Posted May 20, 2013 Author Posted May 20, 2013 It could be a combination of the fact that your parents pay the bills, not you (otherwise I assume you'd be living on your own), and maybe they see how clingy you are, and don't think it's good for you. Rightly so. You need to start filling up your life more. School, job, hobbies, whatever. I do pay bills. Yeah, I guess thanks
loveneverdies Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 I am kind of going through the same thing right now. So if you want to talk about it with someone that understands. Let me know. Take Care.
Author Rubix123 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Posted May 21, 2013 I am kind of going through the same thing right now. So if you want to talk about it with someone that understands. Let me know. Take Care. Its hard isnt it.. and sure I'd love to.
na49 Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 I'm dealing with something similar now that the semester is over. My girlfriend only lives 40 minutes away, but because of my situation, seeing her isn't as easy as getting in my car and going to her house. I see her a lot when she's living on campus, but now we're back to every week or two weeks seeing each other and it SUCKS! I don't cry myself to sleep at night over it, but it makes me want to go back to school already.
Author Rubix123 Posted September 8, 2013 Author Posted September 8, 2013 I guess if you love her enoigh youll stick at it, ive been sticking at It for a while now and ill admit it doesnt feel any different or become any easier but my advice to you is keep yourself busy and just be there for her. Im sure it will all work out for you
Recommended Posts