humph.. Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 I keep thinking of all these questions ..i want to ask peoples opinions!... so here's another one. How important is sex in a relationship? If you met an amazing girl/guy and started dating and they told you they didnt want to have a sexual relationship because of i dont know say for example, religious reasons or some other reason..could you keep seeing them and truly have a 100% happy relationship and not feel bothered by the lack of sex? how about if you were with your girl/boy for a fair amount of time and had a great relationship and a great sex life but they turned around one day and said for whatever reason, they wanted to stop having sex until they were married, what would you do/say/feel!??
Trippitaka Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Hmm, well.. if she said she never wanted to have sex then I think that would be a little too odd and I would end (or never start) the relationship most likely. On the other hand if I was with someone who I really cared about and who I thought would be the one for me then I would happily wait for as long as is necessary and probably even until marriage if that was what she wanted. You're last one would strike me as being a bit strange. So you're saying that this is a situation where we already have a sexual relationship that she wanted to stop. I would have to question the reasoning behing this. If it was because of any moral or religious reasoning I would imagine that we wouldn't have been having sex in the first place . I would therefore have to take it personally unless she gave me a very good reason. I can't imagine what that reason would be so I guess this relationship would probably not last.
sami Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 I'll simply respect their position and decide accordingly. If sex is the only thing that is linking parties together then they should say goodbye to each other. It all depends on the nature of the relationship.
Jilly10340 Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Mmmm...this is a hard one. Well, if I was in a relationship and we were having sex and then they decided they didn't want to until we were married, then I would definately wait. I only have sex with the people I truly care about and if for some reason they wanted to wait, I would respect that and wait for them. Could we still do other things though or would it be no sexual contact. On the other hand, if we were just starting the relationship and they said they didn't want to do it, then I probably wouldn't want to be in a relationship with them. I think it's important to know that you sexually click with the person and our sexually compatibly before taking the step toward marrying them. Otherwise, if you don't click sexually, then it's going to be a long and boring marriage. There has to be SOME sizzle....
ps123 Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 That is a tough question. Sex is definitely not the only thing in a relationship, but it does need to be a part of it...for me anyway. If it was someone I was already having sex with and she said we had to stop...I guess it would depend on how much I really loved the person and if no sex meant no sexual contact at all. Sex is a very intimate part of a relationship and to exclude that seems like excluding a part of the relationship. It would also depend on the reason why. If we became engaged and then she said she wanted to wait till marriage...I could probably wait...as long at the wedding wasnt like 2 years away . Theres a saying that I like a lot: When your sex life is good, its 10% of the relationship....when its bad, its 90% of the relationship.
Jilly10340 Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 LOL!!!!!!!! I love that saying. That's great! It does hold some truth though. I was with someone who I hated to have sex with. It just seemed to loom over our whole relationship. I had to force myself to have sex with him once a week, and even that was pushing it for me. I was also with someone who I loved to have sex with. So I never really thought about it, it was just a fun little part of the relationship.
sami Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 For many, sex is the glue that holds patrners together. Two persons sharing their bodies together to the exclusion of the whole world at least momentarily. When that suddenly stops after successful trials from a guy's perspective it makes it hard for him to understand why those good moments should not continue. When some guys get hard they become like speeding drunk drivers with a highway patrol chasing them. The poor guys see only three exits: " Breastville East/West & Downtown Tunnel".
ps123 Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Ive also been in relationships where all we did was have sex and once that was over, we had nothing to talk about...needless to say, that only lasted a few months.
werty Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 what if you were the first one of ur girlfriend? what implications would it leave both you & your gf? expecially if she has broken up but not for that reason?
Proto Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 In order for a relationship to work, a couple must stimulate each other mentally AND PHYSICALLY. If one of the two aren't there, I guarantee you the relationship will fail. So with that said, yes, sex is VERY important in a relationship. Anything otherwise tells me that the person in the relationship not wanting to have sex is half-assing it and not giving it his/her best.
kellydontwanttasleep Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 if they couldn't give great oral on demand, i wouldn't waste my time.
EC Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Putting all mental connections aside (we get along, have great conversations,same goals & outlook on life.) and we were just talking about the sex..... I need it.. I'm sorry I won't lie.. If I met the perfect guy and he wasn't giving me any for any reasons I would not see him or stop seeing him.. how about if you were with your girl/boy for a fair amount of time and had a great relationship and a great sex life but they turned around one day and said for whatever reason, they wanted to stop having sex until they were married, what would you do/say/feel!?? WHAT! Great sex and then nothing....hmmm it depends on the reason... Obviously if I was in love and was with the guy for a while and all of a sudden because of an accident or medical condition I couldn't get anymore nookie then I would have to figure something out... Thats if I was in love or married because you just don't do that... Now If I wasn't married or in love lets say and he wants to stop until marriage...hahahah..NEXT.I'm to young for that and I have a huge sexual appetite.... I need it...and that's the truth.
savethedrama4allama Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 I could defniitely hang wtih not having sex for some reason, as hard as it would be. But if we had sex and there was no spark, no I could not stay in that relationship.
gd1039 Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 I would date a girl even if right off the bat I knew she wanted to wait. Same thing applies if we were already in a relationship and then she told me. I would respect whatever the girl thought/wanted to do. I also would think more highly of a girl who said that she wanted to wait right off the bat (and stood by her word) than one who wanted to jump in the sack right away, but that is just me.
EC Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Whoa don't get me wrong I don't jump in the sac right away...my goodies aren't free for the samplin..... But I do need it eventually..and I need it period..If I'm not going to get it and get it GOOD..then sorry but I have to say goodbye.
gd1039 Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd Whoa don't get me wrong I don't jump in the sac right away...my goodies aren't free for the samplin..... lol, no no I wasn't refering to you, or anyone in particular. It was just a general comment. I prefer to wait a while in a relationship before taking it to that level, so I would prefer a girl that felt the same way. Just as people wouldn't get into a relationship where someone wanted to wait a (lengthy) amount of time to have sex, I wouldn't want to get into a relationship with someone who wanted to get into it too quickly. So, it all depends on the person. Adding to that, it takes a serious person to say something and stick to it. That is why I would think more highly of a girl that said she wanted to wait and actually did wait. I find that kind of commitment/doing what you believe in (or some phrase like that which I can not think of right now) as a highly attractive quality. Sort of like someone who doesn't fall for peer pressure, or do something to get other peoples approval. I don't know, I will clear up what I mean when I figure out the exact wording.
EC Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 gd1039 Oh see I was gonna say.... jk! Yeah I completely understand what you mean..A girl that says she wants to wait and actually waits...that girl to you will be trustworthy and w/e she tells you..you know she means it and will stick to it!!! Very good quality if your looking for a serious relationship:) But the question is if a girl were to offer it on the first night or week of knowing you would you still go after a relationship with her?
babygirl21 Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 I think that sex is a very important part in a relationship.I don't jump in the bed until after we have dated for a while.But in my opinion I think sex is a very important apart of every relationship.I would never sleep with a guy whom i had only known for a week or two,and as far as on the first date that isn't me either.
gd1039 Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Originally posted by EtErNaLlYCoNfUsEd But the question is if a girl were to offer it on the first night or week of knowing you would you still go after a relationship with her? I kinda answered this is my last post: Originally posted by gd1039 I prefer to wait a while in a relationship before taking it to that level, so I would prefer a girl that felt the same way. Just as people wouldn't get into a relationship where someone wanted to wait a (lengthy) amount of time to have sex, I wouldn't want to get into a relationship with someone who wanted to get into it too quickly. Basically, with me, since I think its best to wait I would want a girl that also wants to wait. So, no, I would not date a girl that offered it on the first night or week of knowing me. Thats just how I am. That is a big part of a relationship, and if we have 2 very different views on the subject, it probably wouldn't work out anyways.
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