humph.. Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 I've always wondered what the general attitude among people regarding different types of internet relationships are.. Do you think it's possible to fall in love with someone online that you have never met/set eyes on/interacted with in real life? Like you hear about people leaving their partners to drive/fly across the country/world into the arms of someone they have never SEEN before that they insist they are in love with... or Do you think it's possible to chat to someone on the net, get along really well, meet up and THEN possibly form a friendship/relationship based on real life? I hear about a lot of people chatting on the net and then meeting up with people and eventually a friendship/relationship forming- just like if they'd met in class/at work/in a bar..nothing different. but i have to admit, I find the "falling in love without ever knowing the person in real life" scenario a bit harder to understand..
Papillon Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 I've always thought internet relationship were stupid. Pimple ridden people with buck teeth who cannot function in real life. But recently, I have discovered someone online...and I am addicted to her. It's affecting my work. I can't sleep.
bluechocolate Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 I think that people can use the internet as a tool with which they come into contact and exchange ideas with other people and ...it's possible to chat to someone on the net, get along really well, meet up and THEN possibly form a friendship/relationship based on real life I don't think it's possible to fall in love with someone online that you have never met/set eyes on/interacted with in real life. Like you hear about people leaving their partners to drive/fly across the country/world into the arms of someone they have never SEEN before that they insist they are in love with... That is like falling in love with a character from a novel. It's purely fiction.
katie79 Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 We should use the net to our advantage. Chatting online is fine. We do it here. I don't know anyone in real life here, but I do feel for them when they have a problem b/c I know what it feels like to need help. This is like online group therapy in a way! As for love, that's up to the person. It is good for some and not others. There are some people that meet the love of their lives on the net, while others wouldn't even think to look there! Through my experience, it's a good way to meet potential mates. However, when you meet the other party in real life, it's very different. They might not be what you imagined them to be...like a blind date. But you can become very close. When we don't see each other, we tend to reveal more about ourselves. The question is, does chemistry exist when we meet this person, or is it purley friendship material? That doesn't mean you should stop trying the net either. At worst, you gain a friend and still search for the right person. That's all. I would advise to be careful, but we've all heard that before! Personally, I think it's just as dangerous to go out and meet someone in a bar, cafe, or club and pick them up/go out with them later on. They may appear fine at first but be crazy later. Play it safe either way. DOn't go off in someone's car you don't know, don't go anyplace deserted, stay in pulic places, and don't drink too much or take drugs.
Trippitaka Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 There's so many pitfalls and problems with the whole internet relationship thing, but I think it is possible (not that it has happened to me,) for the truest love love of all to develop from this sort of relationship. This is because nothing is based on any bias. If you don't know what the person looks like, what the person sounds like, what their friends / associates are like, then ultimately all you are left with is that person's expression, feelings, advice, etc, purely through their words. Nothing else matters. Saying that, I think the two people still have to meet before they know whether it can turn into a solid lifelong relationship. In the real world all those biases and outside influences do actually matter and a lasting union has to encompass, accept and embrace them.
Majik45 Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 I'm kind of in this situation right now. I met someone on the Internet, and we e-mailed back and forth for a month or two, and then started chatting on Instant Messaging and moved to phone calls. I liked the girl a whole lot before I even met her and we seemed to click really well, but I know that the whole Internet relationship thing is not really "real". I've now actually met the girl in person twice, and we did click which is really cool, so yes I think you can get to know someone online and like them a lot, but you definitely need to meet them in person to figure out if the chemistry is really there. From personal experience, I can say that it can translate over into real life. I realize I'm lucky though too, because I'm sure that it doesn't work sometimes too.
DerangedAngel Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Do you think it's possible to fall in love with someone online that you have never met/set eyes on/interacted with in real life? Yes, I do. Do you think it's possible to chat to someone on the net, get along really well, meet up and THEN possibly form a friendship/relationship based on real life? Yes, I do. I haven't helped you at all, have I? -Deranged
Fayebelle Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 I think dating someone online is a bit sketchy. BUT- YL and I have met and are pals now. She's coming back for Halloween and EC may be coming up too. Trust is difficult- I'll give some people benefit enough to meet them in real time but falling in love- don't think I could trust typed words enough. Maybe AFTER we met our friendship could develop as friends sometimes fall for each other- but just off the net- uh uh. That's just me.
Naive Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 I think that you definitely can fall for someone who you met ony on the net. Those people fall in love with the person not the looks, what can be cooler than that?
Fayebelle Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 That is if BOTH people are honest. The other day my BF was telling me about a story Dateline did where a reporter posed as a 14 yr old girl and invited several guys to her "house"- in the next 3 hrs 9 men- all over the age of 30- arrived. 1 of them had taken a plane to get to NY that fast! Granted- the majority of people online are probally Not sickos or psychos- but you have no way of knowing that until you meet them- by then you could be in danger. Best case scenario- they fudge the truth- just a bit b/c you can't see them- look how many people here use Avatars that aren't pics. Now of course looks shouldn't matter- but if someone misrepresents themselves in Any area- I'd worry about what other lies they told. I just don't have enough trust to fall in love and marry someone straight off a chatroom.
moimeme Posted September 30, 2004 Posted September 30, 2004 Do you think it's possible to fall in love with someone online that you have never met/set eyes on/interacted with in real life? Like you hear about people leaving their partners to drive/fly across the country/world into the arms of someone they have never SEEN before that they insist they are in love with... I think it's possible to love what you know of a person. As Faye said, it's critical that you're both honest, and that's where meeting in person is an absolute must. I've met various people (not all love interests) from internetland. Some are exactly as they were in print and on the phone and others very different. But if the person is honest about his/her ideas, beliefs, and the rest of the things you learn, sure you can love those qualities. That doesn't mean you love the whole person because you haven't spent the time it takes to love the rest of the aspects of that person, but you can be extremely fond of the qualities you know about the person. You have to always keep in mind that there's much more to a human, and especially to living with a human, than their ideals or conversation or jokes - but certainly if you appreciate all those things about someone, that can be a great start. Do you think it's possible to chat to someone on the net, get along really well, meet up and THEN possibly form a friendship/relationship based on real life? Sure. Why not. How is that any more random or wierd than seeing some stranger someplace and starting to talk to him or her? The fact that you both happen to be in the same geographic area at the same time means what, exactly? Not a thing. Strangers are strangers across continents or in the same room so why not get to know each other? You can as easily meet a wierdo in your own town as online. I've always thought internet relationship were stupid. Pimple ridden people with buck teeth who cannot function in real life. But recently, I have discovered someone online...and I am addicted to her. It's affecting my work. I can't sleep. Another one bites the dust!
tokyo Posted September 30, 2004 Posted September 30, 2004 I´ve read a couple of times of people having a relationship (?!) over many many months without having met before. There´s always the same question that pops in my head when I read this - Are they living in a fantasy world or can these really happen? You have to always keep in mind that there's much more to a human, and especially to living with a human, than their ideals or conversation or jokes I couldn´t have said it better, Moimeme I think you should never cross the line between interest and falling in love. Internet and emotions - that´s a surreal mixture. A combination of brains and eloquence makes me weak, but I really don´t think that words are everything, sometimes they´re just a romantic trap and you might end up getting very disappointed if your overboarding fantasy deflates. You can find out a lot by writing, but still, talk is cheap. Meet up and make a reality check first. My ex is quiet and calm, surely not someone you would meet on the internet, who would seduce you with poems or writing emails, but nonetheless he got me.... If you have a partner and fall for someone on the internet, you´ve got a problem. Your communication with your partner is obviously crappy, because you are spending too much time on the internet, talking to someone you don´t know, instead of sorting things out with your partner. Spend more time with your partner in real life. I definitely would be wary if my boyfriend was online so often, it´s too easy to meet someone new on the internet, people come and go all the time. I've always thought internet relationship were stupid. Pimple ridden people with buck teeth who cannot function in real life. But recently, I have discovered someone online...and I am addicted to her. It's affecting my work. I can't sleep. Papi has obviously not shown us his true picture... This heartbreaker will leave many ladies on LS very unhappy... *sniff, sniff* Just kidding
Naive Posted September 30, 2004 Posted September 30, 2004 Originally posted by Fayebelle That is if BOTH people are honest. The other day my BF was telling me about a story Dateline did where a reporter posed as a 14 yr old girl and invited several guys to her "house"- in the next 3 hrs 9 men- all over the age of 30- arrived. 1 of them had taken a plane to get to NY that fast! You make a great point Faye, there is no way of knowing whether that person is telling you the truth or not. Obviously many of them might lie, whether is to make themselves look or sound better or they are just compulsive liars! It's scary how you have no idea if you're chatting with a psycho However, there are some that are honest and real, when they fall in love it's nice because you know it's not about looks, but about the person.
surfergirl Posted September 30, 2004 Posted September 30, 2004 I think it's possible..... some people are really shy and this is an avenue in which they can come out of their shell. As for believing everything they write - no. If you find you have a connection with someone then meet them in a public place (more than once) to see if the sparks fly...... after that I believe in leaving it to fate. If you look in bars then you're going to get bar flies.....not so for all situations but the majority. JMO
Papillon Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 Well, I'll admit it. I am totally obsessed with this person, who's thoughts sear my retinas via phospherous shapes on my screen. Am I in love? Very much so. ME. Of all people. What I do hate, though, is that's impossible to put my finger on where it started. "Normal' relationships start off with some precipitating factor. A party, or a flat tire, or a bus you have to keep above 50, or something. I don't have that...when is the "anniversary"? When/if we ever meet? That's fake. Circumstantial. It started long before, didn't it?
tokyo Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 Didn´t you say you´re very romantic and sensitive? See, that´s where it gets you.... That wasn´t very helpful, huh...? How about meeting her? You´re young and incredibly rich (hopefully) and have a lot of time (to spend on LS ).
Papillon Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 She lives a lifetime away. But I WILL meet her someday. Even if I have to rob an old lady or something
tokyo Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 Where? Like other side of the globe?? That´s crappy, curse the internet and the connection of people who are simply not supposed to know of each other.
tokyo Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 I don´t really think there´s ever a starting point where you can say, I fell in love with this person. Neither in real life nor in reality. I starts gradually and slowly most of the time. I also don´t see the importance of it.
Papillon Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 Yes.....other side of the planet. I now know why the earth has molten magma inside - it's the damn chemistry and fire between the two of us That´s crappy, curse the internet and the connection of people who are simply not supposed to know of each other. That's so so so true.
Papillon Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 I just went through my personal stuff, and I DO have a date where everything started !!!!! But yes, it started gradually from there...at first it ws probably just curiousity and friendship. I did, however, fall madly in love with her face first time I saw her. She didn't know, though.
honey2005 Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 Do you think it's possible to fall in love with someone online that you have never met/set eyes on/interacted with in real life? Yes, definitely. I did, however, fall madly in love with her face first time I saw her. She didn't know, though. That's how it was with me, except he's a he.
Papillon Posted October 1, 2004 Posted October 1, 2004 Originally posted by kooky I also don´t see the importance of it. I probably just sentimental. I've fallen really really hard for this girl.
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