CyphEr39 Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Lets just say my name is Lee, the girl I'm "seeing" is Megan. Ok, now let us begin... We work together, kinda. We're in sales so we dont see each other at work due to the fact that our work revolves around outside sales in seperate territories. We started "hanging out" about 7 months ago. At first it was strictly physical (for about a month) then we started seeing more and more of each other. She's always told me that we are not in a relationship, but there is potential for one in the future... And so it goes... We spend so much time together, and it's great. We have alot of great discussions and get along very well on many levels.. Sounds like the making of a perfect relationship doesn't it! Nope, well apparently not. Let me explain further, we spend almost every day together, we've been on two trips together (although not geographically to far from home). She'll act like she really likes me, then all of a sudden, go kinda cold on me.. I always chalked it up to, "getting a little freaked out". Last weekend she went to her girlfriends house who lives slightly outside the city for a day or so. I guess she wanted some "girl" time but wasnt really all that clear about it to me. I decided to give her a call on her cell.. no answer.. So, I gave her a call about 2 hours later or so..No answer.. So I left a message... No reply... To make a long story short----er she didn't call me back that night. Finally the next day, she still hasn't called yet, I give her friends house a call, and apparently shes already left for home.. I call her at home in a while and leave a message on her home phone, to which, she calls back, acting kinda bothered with me. I go over there and we talk.. She tells me that we are not in a relationship and I shouldn't have bothered her when I knew she was having girl time with her friend.. I agree, and the show goes on... She tells me that we spend way to much time together, and it needs to tone itself down. I say fine but I'm still (in my head) senseing some sort of stand-off-ish attitude on her part.. Anyways, we have sex twice then I go home later on that evening... That was Sunday.. Monday, we go to our monthly sales meeting, and then she drops me off at home... We dont talk until today (tuesday) in the morning. Our conversation was really about nothing.. But I did want to make sure we still had plans for this evening as I was supposed to pick her up from her college course which she takes on tuesdays, the course ends at 8:30 p.m. . So I tell her on the phone, "Ok, call me if you DONT want me to meet you after you get out of school". She says, "ok, sounds good". I go through my daily routine and receive no phone call, so I assume that I'm supposed to meet her when she gets out. Well, I see her get out of the elevator, I'm outside, and walk straight for the side door and start walking up the street. After a short little jont I catch up to her, "Hi, I came to pick you up??" (I though she was expecting me) She looked a little starteled or something and tells me, "Well I'm just going to go home". I tell her I'll give her a ride, she accepts. In the car she doesn't really make any eye contact with me, and is acting very distant.. So I ask her, "Are you trying to avoid me or something" ~I may have had a bit of a tone in my voice~ she goes quiet... Finally says, you dont need to talk to me like that. She further tells me that she wasnt expecting me and she feels sick and just wants to go home. I drop her off and she says, in a total blow off tone, dont think about this, just chill. Gives me a little hug and says she'll talk to me tomorrow... I'm a little bothered because all of these actions are totally out of character for her, so I give her a call, get her machine, and ask her to call me. ABout 45 min. later she calls me. I attempt to make small talk, and as soon as I do, I get the blow off tone, followed by the blow off, "I'll talk to you tomorrow OK!!!". I then tell her that I am a little bothered by this and I really get no response, other than, I'll talk to you tomorrow, I dont want to talk about this right now, etc, etc. One more thing... I checked her voice mail on her cell (I know thats terrible, but I got a weird gut instinct going on here) and there was a message saved on there from yesterday (Monday) that was from a guy that is in from out of town for the sales meeting we were at, that went a little like this, "Hey how you doing, it was really good seeing you again (At the sales meeting I suppose). This meeting will be over in a few hours then I should be coming back into town, so give me a call" . Now that IS weird because he doesn't have any real reason to call her and leave a message like that unless there's something going on... .... ....... ......... Maybe that has something to do with the silence and distant-ness coming from her??? What do you think about all this? Am I being blown off?
Papillon Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Possibly. Time will tell. Keep your cool.
BritRN Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Unfortunately it sounds like things are over, primarily because you dont trust her......I suggest you end it before she does......
kellydontwanttasleep Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 sorry but your probably boring her at this point. good luck with your next girl
Author CyphEr39 Posted September 29, 2004 Author Posted September 29, 2004 Follow up... SHe calls me this morning now, and talks about nothing...Very non-shelant. Then tells me she'll call me later. I really dont know what to make of this whole situation.
Author CyphEr39 Posted September 29, 2004 Author Posted September 29, 2004 ^What does that mean? And how did my little follow up make you come to whatever conclusion you have?
Author CyphEr39 Posted September 29, 2004 Author Posted September 29, 2004 She kinda goes hot and cold now and then. HEre's one thing I forgot to mention. She's 31 and I'm 25. She, about a year and a bit ago, got out of a serious realtionship, and told me she's not looking for anything serious. But then, her actions indicate different at times. She says that sometimes she tends to get carried away with emotion and snaps back to reality and uses her head. All her life she's gone on emotion, now shes trying to be realistic and use her head.~thats what she claims~ Maybe the problem is with me, and Ishould just back off a little. Perhaps she is feeling smothered. With me, I just like to have answers. It doesnt matter if the difference between us has been one day or 2 weeks, if I denote a change in "everyday" behaviour it freaks me out a little. The more I read this, the more I realise that I think I may be acting a little pushy...
Scangie Posted September 30, 2004 Posted September 30, 2004 If she has made it clear that there is no official relationship, then I think it is safe to say she is just interested in the sex. It sounds like she isn't that into you on any other level. Back off and see if she starts asking questions about what's wrong, etc. If she doesn't, that's your answer: she is blowing you off.
fundamental Posted October 2, 2004 Posted October 2, 2004 It's time to move on. She basically has you wrapped around her finger...and she is doing another guy...while playing mind games with you. You are allowing yourself to take all of her $***. You can't possibley expect her to respect you???? Therefore, she will lie, not answer calls, etc. You have to move on and don't let yourself get so carried away. I know what I am saying sounds harsh but it is the best thing you can do. fundamental
She's Come Undone Posted October 2, 2004 Posted October 2, 2004 Time to initiate the NC rule. No contact. Make the decision about this relationship yourself, don't wait for her to let you know what's going on. It sounds like you would like a relationship, not saying it has to be serious, but something other than a booty call. I don't see you getting that from this woman. And while 25-31 is not a huge age difference, there are still different levels of maturity. Maybe she just sees you as a boy toy. If you're hurting take a stand. Call it over, don't feel you have to inform her of your decision, and do not take her calls until you see how she hurt you. Best of luck.
Understand Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 I'm going to give you some wise words if you want things to go smoothly between you two. Just relax. Right now, look at yourself, you are wrapped around her finger man, and she's making you twist inside. Don't call her every 30 minutes, don't call her for 3 days. Just 3 days, ok? She told you straight up we see eachother too much, and I doubt she would lie about that. So just give her some space, girls hate above all things, to not have alone time. All girls need it, and guys do too... Be content that she hasn't freaked out on you yet, because most girls I know would have already. If they say they are going to their friends house for the weekend and will be having girl time, be like, cool, I'll spend the weekend with the guys. And don't call her once the weekend. You know... you just need to have some other ways of passing the time, other than spending it with her. Don't let her be your only friend.... because with ANY friend (usually, USUALLY), spending every day together, you can get burnt out real quick. Even when two people are married, they need their alone time. It's important to realize and respect that. Don't be jealous that you aren't spending every moment with her, you know? She might have been avoiding you a little bit, because she feels smothered. And then, if you were in her shoes, trying to avoid someone, wouldn't it be a bit annoying to have them calling every 45 minutes, getting upset with you because you're not spending time with them, etc etc etc. Just give her space, I'm telling you that's all you need to do here.
Barby Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 Originally posted by kellydontwanttasleep she's on some guys C Very classless thing to say.... Anyway she has told you that you're not in a relationship (sounds like she's seeing other people) maybe she doesn't want to come out and say "hey I'm sleeping with or dating someone else" It was very inconsiderate of her not to call and tell you not to show up but maybe she's just very self-absorbed and didn't think anything about calling you. I agree maybe she's burnt out on being around you so much so if I were you I would give her space, don't call, offer her rides, ect. ACT like you're busy with better things to do....sadly you shouldn't have to do that. But if she's into you maybe she'll realize how much she missed you, and start coming back around and warming up to you again, It kind of sounds like she's confused, at one point she wants to blow you off then again she's trying to call and talk to you. If giving her space doesn't work then just move on and find someone who'll respect and give you that relationship that you seem to be seeking...if not keep her as a "booty call" which seems to be what she wants but keep your option open and date other women.
LadyDesiire Posted October 3, 2004 Posted October 3, 2004 first of all, you guys aren't in a relationship, so most likely she is dating around. it seems like she really isn't interested in you like you are in her, so i say just let it go...the way she's treating you is kinda harsh...and i don't think you really deserve that hot-and-cold treatment. she's playing with your head...it's like she'll run hot when she needs affection/sex/attention from you, but besides that, she just blows you off. so save yourself more wasted time and just give up on her. there really is nothing to save because there never really was a serious official relationship.
Author CyphEr39 Posted October 3, 2004 Author Posted October 3, 2004 Again, she has been pretty stright up... But all of you are right... She is still playing some games, whether she's doing it intentionally or not. What I hate the most is when someone lies to you, someone who you trust, and youcant go right out and say, "hey, your a lier" because you yourself went through the wrong paths on finding out. THe booty call thing isin't really fine with me (Never thought I would say that) because I feel like she's playing me. I probably should get away, but, I find that hard to do.
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