tingleping Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) Here's the story. We were talking online, then met in person. He was shy & i ended up making the first move. After we started "going out" he told me he wanted to apply for FIFO in the mines because he needed to pay back a loan. He told me he didnt want to start anything if he was going to be going away. We talked about it then decided to give it a shot. We were dating for about a month when he left. Long story short, he got the job, had his first swing 4 weeks away & 1 week home. It was hard, we made it through. When he got back, I thought everything was fine we went out, had food, went shopping. Then one afternoon when he was out with his friends he dumped me with a text. He said he'd been thinking about it & didnt think it was fair he was working away and so on. I didnt know what to say & didnt want to say anything I'd regret so I didnt say anything. After much thought, later that night I replied with "I get it". I didnt want to sound pushy or needy, nor did I want to seem like i didnt care or it didnt affect me. He asked if we could be friends. The next 24 hours he sent me messages & calls, i didnt reply or pick up. I bumped into him when I was out a dinner (2 days after the dumping). We ended up talking & he explained he made a mistake, he was feeling stressed, rushed... I said i was hurt & needed time. The next day he sent me flowers & chocolate & the card said that he made a mistake & he's sorry. I sent him a message & said thanks. He said he was going back to the mines the next day & if there was a possibility of a second chance. We met up for a coffee & it was pretty normal, we talked about everything except 'that'. I wanted to see if I was ok with seeing him. At the end, I told him that I'm not ready to jump right back into a relationship, but we could be friends. He sent me a message after & said he couldn't be friends. Then as the night got later, his messages got worse. He started to blame me for not giving him the benefit of the doubt & making me feel like the bad guy. When the messages started to get mean, i said "If we get back together now, it'll always be in the back of my mind, I'll be insecure about you having those thoughts again. I need time to get over you, before I can try again." His messages still got worse & i said "You dumped me. By text. Even if you apologise it still hurts. I need time to get over it, I really like you & you hurt me. Don't make me feel bad about it." I know his ex gf cheated on him & really hurt him. I don't want to hurt him, I don't want to get back in a relationship yet. I need some time right now, but I don't know what to say or what to do. Help. Should I stick with the NC rule? I don't want him to get angry & lose him. But I don't want to jump back in & let him think that if he does the same thing again next time I'll just be there for him to dump & come back to. It's a new relationship, there are feelings there, not love yet, but good feelings so far. Should I invest? He's been at the mines for a few days now & will be there for almost 4 more weeks? We usually communicate through text, call & skype.. Help? Should i set a deadline? When do I know if the NC is enough? I'm leaving to go overseas for a couple of weeks when he's next back so might only see him for a day or two.. Edited May 18, 2013 by tingleping Additional info edit
aisuru Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Sounds like he did you a favor. Block him and go no contact.
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