Shosh Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 I am in a bit of a conundrum and hope you can give me some advice/insight. I feel a bit stupid for posting about this on the Internet, but I hope you will be my sounding board. Ok, so here is the situation. I've opened an OLD profile, talked to a few guys and went on a few dates. I guess I've been lucky because I met a few really nice guys who are interested in me and who want to see me again. Here is my problem, I don't like to multidate past the initial few dates, so I have to chose one guy to date and end it with the others/ask them if they are interested in friendship. I have 'narrowed it down' to two guys, but have no idea who to 'pick'. I feel it is kind of a heart vs. head decision. Maybe you can see something I don't, so I am going to ask you all for input. Guy A: He is very sweet and we have similar backgrounds, values and jobs. We get along very well and I always look forward to seeing him or spending time with him. On the con side he is very busy with some hobbies and interests of his, which means that at the most I could see him once or twice a week and I am the kind of woman who likes to see her man as often as possible. Also, we kissed once on our last date and he tried to take it further but I told him that I did not want to have sex unless I am in a relationship, to which he replied that it was too soon for that, but he understood my resistance. I also get the feeling that he is dating other women, which might add to the fact that he seems to be busy a lot. Guy B: He is very sweet too, though till a few days ago I saw him more as a friend because even though we had been out a few times he never as much as tried to hold my hand. Now he made it very clear that he is interested in me and wants to be dating me exclusively. Due to that statement I feel like I have to make a choice on whether I want to keep dating him or Guy A. What do I like about him? He is sweet, reliable, honest, straight forward, kind, etc. Also, he is very easy on the eyes. On the con side, we have very different backgrounds, interests, hobbies, political views, etc. While I get the feeling that our relationship could be very intense and passionate, I also fear that it wouldn't last long-term. This is also supported by the fact that he has never been in a relationship that lasted for more than 6 months, even though he is in his 30ies. He told me that he is the one who usually loses interest after a few months and ends things. Reading back over what I just wrote, I think it seems clear that Guy A would be the better match for me, but he is obviously not ready/interested in a relationship at this time and I am afraid I'll get hurt. Should I just stop seeing both of them and see if I meet someone else, or should I give Guy B a chance, even though there are a large number of red flags? Help!
joystickd Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 You already have it in your mind who you want to date. Just get off the BS and give them your decision instead of dragging it out. Dragging it out will only make the rejected person angry at you because you wasted his time.
Author Shosh Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 You already have it in your mind who you want to date. Just get off the BS and give them your decision instead of dragging it out. Dragging it out will only make the rejected person angry at you because you wasted his time. Well, unfortunately I don't. If I did, I would not be posting about it here.
thr1986 Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 I just ended a relationship with someone who i started dating knowing that it would not be long term. I'm a 26 year old guy and I'm at the point where I'm really considering whether or not someone that I date is someone that I could be with long term, you sound like your in a similar position. This girl was very nice, very attracted to me and quite frankly she made it very easy, it was almost like it happened out of convenience for me. Either way, I knew she was not "the one" and about 8 months later, here I am just having broken up with her and starting over. My advice is not to get into a relationship with someone that you know will not work long term. Additionally, It sounds like "guy a" is trying to get laid. I have been on 3 dates since I left my ex. 2 with he same girl. The most I have done with her thus far is hug goodbye at the end of the date. As guys, we know how to respect a girl and not push you too far too early if were thinking long term with you. Be careful... Honestly, I'd say move on and find someone new. There are good good guys out there looking to respect you and start a long term relationship off with you the right way. Keep looking until you find that. 1
joystickd Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Well, unfortunately I don't. If I did, I would not be posting about it here. Cut the crap you know you do. You just posting on here trying to get validation for your choice. We all know what we want the thing is we all hate to say it sometimes out of fear. Just keep it real
Author Shosh Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 Cut the crap you know you do. You just posting on here trying to get validation for your choice. We all know what we want the thing is we all hate to say it sometimes out of fear. Just keep it real Why are you being so hostile? You don't know me and have no idea what I think and what I am like. It sounds like you have some preconceived notions about women or people in general and are not willing to see anybody else's point of view. Well, don't bother replying, because you are now blocked. I am not interested in getting mean-spirited answers.
Author Shosh Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 Honestly, I'd say move on and find someone new. There are good good guys out there looking to respect you and start a long term relationship off with you the right way. Keep looking until you find that. Thank you. Your reply was really helpful!
joystickd Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Why are you being so hostile? You don't know me and have no idea what I think and what I am like. It sounds like you have some preconceived notions about women or people in general and are not willing to see anybody else's point of view. Well, don't bother replying, because you are now blocked. I am not interested in getting mean-spirited answers. Damn I didn't know being real was being mean spirited.
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