sm123 Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) Recently me and my girlfriend have been going through some rocky times. We're both in high school and prior to this week things had been going perfectly. We were originally best friends before we started dating and we both really loved each other. But last week we fought a lot about many different things, and on Monday this week she said she feels weird and she's taking it out on me and she doesn't know why and she told me she needs space. I tried, but I guess I didn't do well enough. Then on Tuesday we got into a fight then made up, and promised to be normal the next day. Wednsday was awesome, we were cuddling and happy and everything seemed back to normal. But then I ****ed it up at the end of the day. We had promised each other to spend Friday and Wendnsday together after school to fix things, but she told me she wanted to hang out with her friends one day. Like an idiot I got mad and she got really mad at me, even going so far as to suggest breaking up. We didn't though. She told me later that she was mad because she thought I only got upset because I wanted to have sex with her that day. And trust me that's not why, I just missed having fun with her and spending time with her. The next day she told me she didn't even feel attracted to me anymore. I had had enough so I told her that we should break up, and she got scared and said that she just feels that way now, and she needs time to think. She's been stressed by her friends, finals, parents, and me, but I'm scared that she might not come back to me. I've never mistreated her in the past, either. I just don't know what to do and I'm so confused. I try to give her space but we share the same friends and I don't know how to not make things awkward... What should I do? I'm hopeless and distraught... please help me. Can I even fix this? Heres one of our convos on the matter... I don't know what to make of it. ----------------------------------------------------- Me: you know after the english exam it wasnt so bad... we were actually talking okay Daniela: Yea I know that was good actually haha Idk we can't really help being around eachother hahah Me: why did we get so awkward later on... yeah... i try so hard honestly to give you space... but we have the same friends and we end up being with each other Daniela: Idk haha.. It's k we will just deal with it and it won't be awks anymore haha Me: lolol kk when you can idk if i even want to hear the answer but what are you feeling right now Daniela: Hahha confused as **** but I don't want to say anything about it right now K? Ill just talk to u about it after finals like we said Me: because since yesterday ive gone form being really depressed about this to being really hopeful to not caring to missing you im really confused i want to tell you more stuff about how i feel but idk if you want to talk abotu it Daniela: I'm tired of talking about this u know.. Like its brought up by everyone and honestly I think we just need to think about it by ourselves and then talk about it after our break or w.e Me: me too dani... i jsut want this to be done but i have a hard time not thinking about it and it doenst help that all anyone talks to me about is this anymore like seirously no one talks to me about anything anymore except this bull**** or why are you and dani acting so weird or whatever and im annoyed right now about it but i dont want to rush you and maybe talking right now was a mistake idk im sorry Daniela: K well I am too so just be like idk what's goin on and don't really want to talk about it that's all u have to say hhaha idk what I'm trying do is just to forget about everything ****ty and focus on finals and then when everything is over I think ill know what I actually want so idk maybe do the same? And let's talk after finals about this Before that lets just not even brin it up ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ And I'm totally dumbfounded that in one day she could lose all her feelings for me. We went through so much... how can she not love me at all anymore? Edited May 18, 2013 by sm123
TaraMaiden Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Uh-oh.... Yup. 'Space' means 'break UP. She just doesn't want to be the one to do it because she would feel guilty about hurting you. She still has feelings for you - but she doesn't want to stay with you. And she knows it hurts to hear that..... 'Space' is the way (girls/women, mostly) tell their partners, "I really don't want to do this any more. With you. " This one is over. It happens, and sadly it happens 99.99% of the time with people of your age. Too much, too fast, too young, too restricting, too early. So much 'world' to see, so many different people to meet, so many experiences to have. It sucks, but I suggest you accept it. This space, is of an intergalactic measure.... 1
Iama Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 There's so many things going wrong here, but you're in high school, so you have time to develop. My suggestion if you wanna keep the girl. Just cut out all the texting / talking. Whenever she txts you first, you answer politely, to the point, positively and that's it. Don't talk to her about feelings anymore, until she's ready. Don't talk to her about anything until she's ready. Cheers,
Author sm123 Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 I'm just confused because when I was about to break up with her she worked to keep me. ---------------------------- Me Tell dani to look at her texts I'm done I'm done with her 1:36pm Sherine she doesnt have her phone she can see this 1:36pm Me Ok tell her I'm done 1:36pm Sherine she is done too she says okay 1:36pm Me I feel bad but maybe one day we can be friends again 1:37pm Sherine she agrees 1:37pm Me Also Sherine do you want the ring? 1:37pm Sherine yeah!!!!!! 1:37pm Me I don't want it 1:37pm Sherine its so cute 1:37pm Me Ok I'm giving it to vero she'll give it to you 1:37pm Sherine okay babes feel better!!! 1:38pm Me Yeah I do A LOT better Our relationship wasn't much better than hers and razas I guess... Just longer 1:38pm Sherine how come? lol who did you talk to ?! 1:38pm Me No one I made the decision on my own 1:39pm Sherine she is here wait talk to her 1:39pm Me I never changed I realized she did 1:39pm Sherine samar.. k jk i dont even know what to say 1:39pm Me Like I'm sorry I'm sorry your first time had to be with me 1:40pm Sherine what? 1:40pm Me That we wasted two months 1:40pm Sherine u think that was a waste? 1:40pm Me Hopefully one day you'll be normal again I don't But I was deleting photos and it was painful 1:41pm Sherine so now ur blaming it on me/? 1:41pm Me No 1:41pm Sherine yes u aree 1:41pm Me But it's not all my fault 1:41pm Sherine i know its not!! 1:41pm Me Because you made it seem likes its all me 1:41pm Sherine i mean lately idk 1:41pm Me I still want this to work but obviously it won't and it breaks my heart 1:41pm Sherine like i told u i was being weird 1:42pm Me Then why can't you just wait?? 1:42pm Sherine i didnt say i couldn't!!! u said that u wouldnt move on vbecause there is no one else 1:42pm Me Is this like how you Lost interest in Raza 1:42pm Sherine stop comparing it!!! i never felt this way about him 1:42pm Me No I didn't!! I meant I lov you so much I just don't want anyone else There's no one else that I want except you 1:43pm Sherine yo its sherin she is coming on skype ---------------------------------- This was a chat with me and her friend but she was there. And all of her best friends tell me that she'll come around soon she's just stressed
TaraMaiden Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 DRAMA. Blah blah blah blah blah. Quit. It doesn't change anything, does it? 1
Author sm123 Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 Maybe its the right thing to do, but I can't... I just can't believe in one day she went from loving the **** out of me to not being attracted to me
TaraMaiden Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Maybe its the right thing to do, but I can't... I just can't believe in one day she went from loving the **** out of me to not being attracted to me It didn't happen in one day, silly. It probably took a while to get up a head of steam, but this is no overnight thing. You probably had it coming for a while, but it blindsided you. That's why she got sick and tired of talking about it. Because it had been on her mind for a while. As the above poster said - Move on.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Sorry you are going through this. Break-ups are tough. First, never have those conversations via text/FB/messenger/etc. Speak face-to-face. Second, she isn't interested anymore. If she were, she wouldn't be telling you she needs space or not to bring up this matter or tell people you "don't know what's going on." My honest thoughts are that she hasn't been happy for a little while, wants some alone time and could be interested in someone else. You both also sound quite young, so unfortunately these situations are very normal. If she wants space, you really have no choice but to give it to her. If she wants to come back, you need to think carefully about whether or not you still want her.
joystickd Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Put her in a put up or shut up position. She wants you to break up with her so you can be the bad guy. Some women love to do this. Hell she might even have already found someone else. Just say" What's the deal? Do you want me or not. Be honest. Put her in that position where she has to say no. Then move on a find someone that is not into BS.
Author sm123 Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) Well we just had a long talk and she told me that her parents have been stressing her out so much for the finals that she needs to get good grades. She still wants me really bad but she's stressed and wants space so she can sort things out there. After finals she wants things to go back to normal. Now that she directly told me how she feels instead of hearing it from someone else, I know it isn't as bad as I thought. I should've known better, anyways. My girlfriend has never been shallow, even before we were friends. And honestly there isn't another guy. Not to sound creepy but I would've found out. Some of her friends are very close friends of mine and would've told me. No, she has a good heart, I know that. I know I sound like I'm in denial, but we were best friends before. I know her better than even her girl friends. Edited May 18, 2013 by sm123
TaraMaiden Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 OK, cool. But trust us on this one: It's already fragile. Proceed with caution, and don't get complacent. If she stresses like this now, I'm pretty confident that 'shallow' or no 'shallow' - this will not be the last time she gives you an anxious moment.
Author sm123 Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 True. But she's never given me trouble in the past. And now that I'm not in the dark anymore I understand her position much better. I'm still going to try... wish me luck! And thanks guys!
joystickd Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Well we just had a long talk and she told me that her parents have been stressing her out so much for the finals that she needs to get good grades. She still wants me really bad but she's stressed and wants space so she can sort things out there. After finals she wants things to go back to normal. Now that she directly told me how she feels instead of hearing it from someone else, I know it isn't as bad as I thought. I should've known better, anyways. My girlfriend has never been shallow, even before we were friends. And honestly there isn't another guy. Not to sound creepy but I would've found out. Some of her friends are very close friends of mine and would've told me. No, she has a good heart, I know that. I know I sound like I'm in denial, but we were best friends before. I know her better than even her girl friends. Some of here friends are friends of yours and that is the problem that some of them are. If she was seeing someone else she would never tell them because she figured they would tell you.
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