So I just went on my very first online date and he lied about his height

[soccerrprp]

A combination of things....

 

"Good" quality anybody shouldn't have to lie. But, height, weight seems to be a very sensitive issue and some are willing to take such chances JUST to get a meetup. As per shorter guys having developed other qualities to compensate for their height, yeah, I would agree. I'm short, but don't believe I ever "consciously" said to myself, well, b/c I'm short I should work on my personality, physique, etc.. But, yeah, I like the idea that shorter guys do work on other attributes...

[Emilia]

I'm short, but don't believe I ever "consciously" said to myself, well, b/c I'm short I should work on my personality, physique, etc.. But, yeah, I like the idea that shorter guys do work on other attributes...

It wasn't meant to be patronising. I think shorter men build muscles easier and in many sports it's a benefit not to have a long back.

[USMCHokie]

So those 2 inches can mean a lot when coupled with build, etc.

 

As I mentioned before, those two inches can also mean a lot depending on how tall he is to begin with. Two inches at 6'4" is a lot less noticeable than two inches at 5'7". It's all relative. As long as the guy stays in the tolerable range of height, it isn't going to bother the girl.

 

Take another example, salary. Let's take two guys who both claim they make $50K more a year than they really do. Guy A really makes $50K a year, Guy B makes 1 million. Tell me which liar's lie the girl will overlook...

[Emilia]

Take another example, salary. Let's take two guys who both claim they make $50K more a year than they really do. Guy A really makes $50K a year, Guy B makes 1 million. Tell me which liar's lie the girl will overlook...

Which one is the fat one?

[soccerrprp]

It wasn't meant to be patronising. I think shorter men build muscles easier and in many sports it's a benefit not to have a long back.

 

Patronizing? Never thought that... You're making us shorter guys feel good. Not that i've ever needed anyone to do that for me....That's a relief!

[USMCHokie]

Which one is the fat one?

 

The rich one, just to maintain some balance.

[Emilia]

The rich one, just to maintain some balance.

Then neither

[USMCHokie]

Then neither

 

At least you get the point.

[Emilia]

At least you get the point.

Of course. If Brad Pitt got in touch with me on OLD and he omitted that he had 6 kids (after dumping Jolie) I'd still date him.

[Soxfaninfl]

I'm a recent college graduate and I was finding a hard time meeting guys so I decided to sign up for a dating site.

 

A guy contacted me and he seemed fairly bright and verbose. We chatted for a while and decided to meet up for some coffee. On his profile he listed himself as 5'9" but when we eventually met up, it turned out he was closer to 5 7-8. We were nearly eye level!

 

I kept my cool and sat through the rest of our meeting. I didn't mention anything.

 

I found this to be pretty off putting. It's not just the fact that he's shorter. It's also the dishonesty and the insecurity. I think someone who readily lies about their height might also lie about more important things.

 

I'm wondering if I overreacted or if this sort of thing is common on dating sites? Where can I meet single guys irl now that I'm finished with my education?

 

I'm 5'6, and I had the best first date with a women last night in a long time of the same height wearing two inch heels. She text me that she really enjoyed spending time with me and would love to see me again. Obviously she didn't care that she was the same eight as me, but taller than me when she wears heels. What is important that you had a good time and you had great chemistry/conversations.

[Emilia]

I'm 5'6, and I had the best first date with a women last night in a long time of the same height wearing two inch heels. She text me that she really enjoyed spending time with me and would love to see me again. Obviously she didn't care that she was the same eight as me, but taller than me when she wears heels. What is important that you had a good time and you had great chemistry/conversations.

Did she think you were taller than 5'6'' before she met you?

[ja123]

I've found men fibbing about their height on OLD by 2 inches to be very common. I forgive them for it. If I'm interested in the person, I just prepare myself that he might be a bit shorter and meet anyway. No big deal.

[Soxfaninfl]

Did she think you were taller than 5'6'' before she met you?

 

No. I asked her before we went out on a date if she was cool being the same height as me and taller when she wore heels. She said she didn't care about that.

[soccerrprp]

I'm 5'6, and I had the best first date with a women last night in a long time of the same height wearing two inch heels. She text me that she really enjoyed spending time with me and would love to see me again. Obviously she didn't care that she was the same eight as me, but taller than me when she wears heels. What is important that you had a good time and you had great chemistry/conversations.

 

Great to hear! Yay!

[Soxfaninfl]

I've found men fibbing about their height on OLD by 2 inches to be very common. I forgive them for it. If I'm interested in the person, I just prepare myself that he might be a bit shorter and meet anyway. No big deal.

 

I never lie about my height. I didn't think it was an issue as long as I was the same height or taller, but I come to realize from this site that sometimes women prefer a man that is much taller.

[soccerrprp]

I never lie about my height. I didn't think it was an issue as long as I was the same height or taller, but I come to realize from this site that sometimes women prefer a man that is much taller.

 

Oh, yeah. Sometimes comically taller. But, you do the best with what your genes have dealt out to you.

[Emilia]

I don't see what the big deal is, tbh.

 

I used to increase my height by 3 inches on OLD. When I met girls in person, they never seemed to notice. If they did, they didn't care enough to point it out or stop talking to me because of it.

 

I just had a brainstorm: maybe OP just didn't like the guy and is using this as an excuse to break it off.

I was pissed when guys lied to me, the truth is girls can be too polite to point it out but some will definitely stop talking to you because of it. There is a very noticeable difference between 5'6'' and 5'9'.

 

I don't understand the logic behind starting off on the back foot. It's as if I lied about my age and pretended to be 5 years younger then expected a guy to shrug it off. Why would I do that to myself?

[Soxfaninfl]

I don't see what the big deal is, tbh.

 

I used to increase my height by 3 inches on OLD. When I met girls in person, they never seemed to notice. If they did, they didn't care enough to point it out or stop talking to me because of it.

 

I just had a brainstorm: maybe OP just didn't like the guy and is using this as an excuse to break it off.

 

I don't lie to a potential date because then they will be thinking what else he is lying about. I could see why the OP was upset.

[Emilia]

It's about getting your foot in the door.

 

Like I said, I did drastically lie about my height and the girls still saw me and dated me afterwards.

 

Guess it wasn't that big of a deal to them.

Hm, I'll reserve judgement on this post

[Soxfaninfl]

Oh, yeah. Sometimes comically taller. But, you do the best with what your genes have dealt out to you.

 

I don't get that and never will. My ex-wife of 11 years was the same height as me too. I would thinks looks and chemistry would be more important.

[Emilia]

I don't get that and never will. My ex-wife of 11 years was the same height as me too. I would thinks looks and chemistry would be more important.

I'm glad that lots of women like tall guys. More options for me

[Soxfaninfl]

Good for you.

 

I don't lie about most things (in fact, I find it hard to lie in general).

 

I do lie about this though.

 

I understand. It sucks to be honest. I would think a women would care more about looks and chemistry then how long our legs are lol, but that is not the case for some women.

[soccerrprp]

I don't get that and never will. My ex-wife of 11 years was the same height as me too. I would thinks looks and chemistry would be more important.

 

I chalk it up to insecurity. For many women, it seems that height translates to security. Of course, this is not true. There are such qualities such as chemistry and (ugh) looks, kindness, affection, that should take precedence over height, but, alas, one's stature seems to outweigh such characteristics for some women. I don't take it seriously as I have not had problems dating and having had a great marriage with a women who didn't care about height (obviously).

 

Eh, it's a preference. No need to overplay or over-indulge in the complexity of the preference. Just do your part and go out and razzle-dazzle the ladies who are not fixated on the height-thing, that's all.

[BluEyeL]

I've been tempted to lie about my age, since I look about 5 yrs younger, and lowering my real age with a couple of years would have put me in my late thirties, more options:p, but decided it'll backfire. Better to be honest and who likes you will like you, who doesn't, who cares? It's gonna be others. But if you lie, you might mess up something that could have been working out.

[RedRobin]

I wouldn't go that far. What they still do with black men is have purely sexual relationships with us, and rarely the guts to really truly "date" us. Then cry foul if we try to make it a serious normal thing.

 

If it makes you feel better, I was open to dating a black man that my friend introduced me to.

 

He was much taller and much more muscular than I usually am attracted to, but my #1 criteria is character.

 

Turns out, he was the one who tried to get me to agree to a purely sexual relationship, and ended up stalking me for months when I refused to 'date' him after that. I realize that has nothing to do with being black though. I'd still date a man of any ethnicity if we were compatible and he had the kind of character and values I'm looking for.

 

... but back to the topic...

 

I agree with the others, OP. If you wouldn't have agreed to meet him if he were under a certain height, then he did himself a disservice.

 

Does your profile list a minimum height? And do you stick with that minimum? I'm asking because you might miss out on a really awesome guy if you do that.

Edited May 18, 2013 by RedRobin