idon'tknowwhattodo Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Hi everyone. I'm in need of some advice about a breakup... My boyfriend and I are in our 4th year of university (I'm 21, he's 22). We'd known each other for 10+ years and been dating for 4 - we were each others' first proper girlfriend/boyfriend. We had a range of problems over that time (his family issues, my depression/social difficulty) but we always came through it together. We are a great match in most ways, but we couldn't find enough time for each other because of work/uni, and my parents don't like him so they made it very difficult for us to be together and do normal relationship things (like go to social events together, have sex, etc.). It makes it so much worse that it wasn't incompatibility or one of us doing something wrong - just the circumstances/timing of our relationship made it impossible to keep it up So we decided together that we would have to break up. We blocked each other on Facebook, deleted phone numbers etc. so we can't contact each other. It ended on good terms and we agreed that we could be friends in the distant future once we're both completely over it. I miss him awfully already... after being friends and then boyfriend/girlfriend for so long, not being able to text/email/call him is just killing me. But I know that if I resist the urge, we'll probably both be ready to be friends again sooner, which is what I want. It's just so hard I have no idea what to do with myself. My problem is just that I feel so lonely... I have practically no friends because I work a lot and am not very good at socialising, and my family is really unsupportive. I'm incredibly insecure about how I look, talk, etc (I'm seeing a counselor for this though). I'm also terrified about being single again - it's the first time since I graduated high school and I have no idea how to do things like flirting, dating, etc... I've never managed to figure out how to use makeup, let alone get dressed up for a date (although obviously I won't be trying to do that any time soon). Any advice is welcome... I just have no idea how to deal with this. I think it still hasn't hit me that things are over for good. And I have no idea how to fill the void - he was an enormous part of my life for a very long time and I don't know what to do...
aisuru Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 You fill the void with hobbies, interests, writing in a journal, new friends, etc. It's hard at your age because you're young. You just have to let him go. It's hard, I know. You're young, and this is hard to hear, but you will be in other better relationships. I promise you. Each relationship gets better in life. Hard to believe right now, but it's true. For right now, take care of you. Make sure you are surrounded by friends. Make sure you tackle the issues within yourself to move forward. You will be okay. I promise.
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