tango20 Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 My girlfriend and I have been dating for a lil over a month. Our first sexual encounter the condom broke. She found out that she was pregnant two weeks ago. The Dr initially told her that she was 3 weeks pregnant. Initially she had thought it may have been her ex-boyfriend's. They had their last sexual encounter sometime the second week of March. But when the Dr told her that she was 3 weeks she thought it was me. Anyway since it was 50/50 we decided that she should move in with me. Everything was going well she was happy with the thought that she was having my child and not her ex. Then this past Wednesday the Dr told her that she is having slow growth fetus and that she was 6 weeks. But the baby was 3 weeks behind. So now she figures it may be her ex. She is very upset when she found out the news. I was as disappointed also. I told her to get a second opinion for the time of conception/health of the baby. If the baby is unhealthy she needs to know this. But she told me no because she is already devastated and it will hurt her more if it is the same results. So I decided not to forc the issue. Now the past couple of days has been stressful. She has been crying all day long because she is not having my baby. So Thursday night she told me that she wanted to move out. Because she feels guilty about the fact that the baby is not mine. I told her she can still stay. I told her I will stick by her side regardless even if the baby is not mine. She still refused to stay. I really want her to stay because I care for her and I'm willing to support her through this process. Her close friend even told her to stay with me because I am good guy. Also, there still is a possibility that the baby may be mine. This weekend she decided to stay at her friends(the same close friend) house because she is too stressed out and need to clear her thoughts. I respected her decision and dropped her off. Before I dropped her off she did mention to me that she will try to work things out and stay here. She wants me to either pick her up either Sunday or Monday. But right now the relationship seems a little shaky. She did mentioned that she is scared that I may leave her if the baby is healthy and starts growing. Anyway, So what can I do or say to keep her here?
aisuru Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 She is in a very tough position since she doesn't know who the pregnancy/baby is with. I've been there and it's a great big mind F. My pregnancy ended so thankfully I didn't have to tackle the "who's the father" issue. Support her and be there for her. Don't press her for anything. Hopefully you can update us.
Author tango20 Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 (edited) She is in a very tough position since she doesn't know who the pregnancy/baby is with. I've been there and it's a great big mind F. My pregnancy ended so thankfully I didn't have to tackle the "who's the father" issue. Support her and be there for her. Don't press her for anything. Hopefully you can update us. Update~ This a like a drama movie. Sorry for the long post but I wanted to provide you all the info. Well my girl and I are no longer together. As I stated before she was very upset that there is a great chance that I may not be the father. But still not 100%. She came back on Monday but everything seemed different. She didn't want to even talk to me the whole night. We had gotten into an argument over that. Then on Tuesday evening it was the same issue. This time it was even worse. If I would come into one room she would leave out. I decided not to even say anything. I did ask her if she was going to eat some food since the only thing she ate all day was some chips and crackers. I told her that needs to feed the baby she replied no. A couple of hours later I gave her a towel to take a shower and that's when she told me that she was moving out. Then that's when she told me that she was unhappy with me. I was shocked. Just last Friday and Monday she told me her feelings were still the same(cared and like me a lot). Now all of the sudden she is unhappy with me. I asked her to explain why she was unhappy but she couldn't. We argued about that to the point that I told her that she needs to leave. I then caught myself and told her I'm not going to kick her out that late being pregnant. She didn't care she asked me to take her to he best friend's apartment. Come to find out that night she didn't go there because her and her best friend are not talking anymore. All her friends stopped talking to her because how she was acting towards me.They told me she is a liar and she is bad for me. They know that I'm a good guy and I did a lot for this woman. So now they are disgusted with her. Anyway one of her closed friends called me that night and told me to mention another guys name. She told me my ex did not go to her best friends house she went to somewhere else. SHe also told me that my ex did not stay with her the whole weekend.I was shocked and disappointed. So the following morning I received multiple text from her. I responded back and told her that she needs to get her stuff out. I also called her a liar and she replied back saying she wasn't lying about anything. She said she was trying to respect me by not telling me the real reason was because the other guy. She told me that she ran into this weekend and they exchanged numbers. I thought that was a garbage excuse. So later on that afternoon she came and picked up her stuff. We had a discussion and she tried to blame me for everything. Her losing all her friends and that I kicked her out of the house. I responded back and then I asked her why was she moving in with this guy and what does he have that I don't have. She told me that I'm too nice and he's an ******* but she's just staying there until she can find her on place. I was like that doesn't make any sense to me. I said what I had to say and it seemed like it kind of touched her. I ended up dropping her off in the neighborhood she was moving to. I said one last thing before we took her bags out. She was silent for a minute and she was about to cry. Later on that day I was receiving more intel from her ex friend. They decided to resolve their issues before they parted ways. Her ex friend told me earlier that day she asked her if she was doing the right thing. She told her it's your decision. Her ex friend also told me that my ex was telling her that she loves this guy and he may be the father. Wow!. This guy told her ex friend that he has doubt's that he is the father and asked her where was my ex staying on Monday, Her ex friend told him that she wasn't at her place. She must have told him that she was staying there. He's very suspicious about her. I can understand why. Her ex friends told me that she doesn't know who the father is. Here is the rundown. She dated him briefly early March. They have sex. Her ex friends told me that the following week she had sex with her so-called best friend. Then a month later she has sex with me multiple times. She then finds out she's pregnant tried to put it on the second guy so she hit him up on FB. He's thinking he may be a father to another kid. She then tells me I may be the father and hopes I am. Stops contacting the second guy. Then after the second check up she has some doubts that the baby is mine. She is feeling down in the dumps. Then all of the sudden now she is putting the baby on the first guy. I feel bad for the dude because he works near me. I don't want him to go through the same mess I had to endure. Several of my male friends told me I need to inform him before he starts spending all his money on this woman. Especially since he has his doubts. Anyway can you give me some advice? I hated how our relationship ended. What do I need to do to have some type of sensible communication? She blocked me from Skype and I blocked her from a text app out here in South Korea. I'm asking this just in case the baby may be mine. I don't want to wonder around thinking I have another child out there because I need to have that relationship and he/she needs to know that he/she has a sister. Do you think I should tell the other guy? My friends think so because she is about to destroy another man's life. Edited May 24, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator paragraphs added
aisuru Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 Cease and desist. Stop talking about it with her friends. It's getting too convoluted and you'll drive yourself nuts. Unfortunately, unless she forces you to take a paternity test, you may never know if the baby is yours or not. Consider yourself lucky that she left you to live her own crazy life. You should now take care of yourself and hope for your sake that the kid belongs to somebody else. Not your problem then. Take care of you. End of story. 1
Author tango20 Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 (edited) Cease and desist. Stop talking about it with her friends. It's getting too convoluted and you'll drive yourself nuts. Unfortunately, unless she forces you to take a paternity test, you may never know if the baby is yours or not. Consider yourself lucky that she left you to live her own crazy life. You should now take care of yourself and hope for your sake that the kid belongs to somebody else. Not your problem then. Take care of you. End of story. We are not talking about it anymore. They are disgusted with her and hate talking about her lying, deceitful, and cheating ways. We came to a conclusion that she's cuckoo. Do you think I should say something to the other guy? He has serious doubts about her. Thanks for your response. Edited May 24, 2013 by tango20
aisuru Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 We are not talking about it anymore. They are disgusted with her and hate talking about her lying, deceitful, and cheating ways. We came to a conclusion that she's cuckoo. Do you think I should say something to the other guy? He has serious doubts about her. Thanks for your response. Nope. Not your business. Mind your own. It likely wouldn't go over well. You should probably stop speaking with her friends, unless for some reason they were yours before she was in your life.
Author tango20 Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 Nope. Not your business. Mind your own. It likely wouldn't go over well. You should probably stop speaking with her friends, unless for some reason they were yours before she was in your life. I guess I will not say anything. I feel bad for him though. The man already has doubts and she is trying to stick it to him. I wouldn't be surprised that someone else I know tells him.Well her friends cut her off completely. They are the one's that still want to stay and contact and hangout every once in awhile. This was a fowl situation she put me through. I was being a real man and treated her like a woman supposed to be treated. This is how she repays me. She is an ungrateful woman. Thanks for the advice.
aisuru Posted May 24, 2013 Posted May 24, 2013 I guess I will not say anything. I feel bad for him though. The man already has doubts and she is trying to stick it to him. I wouldn't be surprised that someone else I know tells him.Well her friends cut her off completely. They are the one's that still want to stay and contact and hangout every once in awhile. This was a fowl situation she put me through. I was being a real man and treated her like a woman supposed to be treated. This is how she repays me. She is an ungrateful woman. Thanks for the advice. If these were all her friends, regardless of what they tell you... you really should back away from them. Their loyalty, inevitably, is to her. Not you. Regardless of what they say. Protect yourself dude.
Author tango20 Posted May 29, 2013 Author Posted May 29, 2013 If these were all her friends, regardless of what they tell you... you really should back away from them. Their loyalty, inevitably, is to her. Not you. Regardless of what they say. Protect yourself dude. I left the situation alone but her ex friend hit me up and decided to tell me about everything. Apparently this supposed to be women had some deep dark secrets that she had hidden from me. Thank God I'm no longer with her she is trifling. I feel bad for this other guy. Thanks for your response.
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