happydate Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) Some strong people find harmony in being lonely. We, dumpees, actually lose this harmony and being able to be happy on our own. I like to quote this.. There is a recurring message in many of your religious texts: "For everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven". Divine Solitude is a noble condition, and one that offers quantum leaps in terms of growth, when understood, and recognized for its profound purpose. You see the Divine-Self is ultimately, conclusively alone in its final pursuit of omnipotence. In your terms, the soul enters the earth alone, and the spirit departs the earth alone. Ascended Masters that walk the Earth, have for millennia sought solitude in their incarnations before achieving Mastery. So it is with many of you now. Blessings.. What this means is that, if you are spiritually at peace, you will not be looking at all external sources of love like shopping for materialism, looking for guys or gals to have sex with and so forth. I'm not there yet, but I had met some sweet people who are actually almost there. The peace, radiance and the love they manifest are so intense and so loving it makes you feel loved. But to get there, you will be presented with pain, be it a financial difficulty with money, difficulty with relationships and with life in general. Once you know your life purpose on this earth, it makes living alone so much more enjoyable. It is when you don't have a clue why you are an arrow of a loner is when you feel lonely in despair and need to get back with exes. Edited May 18, 2013 by happydate
LilySun Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) I really enjoy going to a bar for a bite to eat/couple drinls by myself. It isn't a blast or anything, but its nice "me" time and sometimes, you end up in conversation with a nice person next to you, but not necessarily a person of romantic interest. Nonetheless, it can make for some interesting encounters at times. Plus I'm not too ahy and tend to strike up convos with bartenders. They are very used to that, so they certainly won't judge you or anything. I also like sports so a big game on is a good excuse to just go sit at the bar and enjoy it like everyone else there. I have also done things like go to the zoo or museums alone. And its pretty fun because you are on your own agenda take photos, browse the gift shop. Depending on your city, lots of things are suitable to do alone if you look into it. I have long periods of singledom and my friends are all married too, so I just didnt lwt it atop me from doing things I enjoy. However there are still some things I can't do without comapny, like a sporting event or a concert. Believe it or not it can become a 2nd nature just like it was to have a bfriend around. AND...they say men are likely to approach women who are alone becaise groups of women are intimidating. so, never know what could happen. Edited May 18, 2013 by LilySun
KatZee Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Stop being a vagina. Go sign up for something on meetup. I was nervous my first time going but you'll see real soon how normal all these people are, and how much fun it can be. Join a "girlfriend" group, read some of the bio's of the group and pick one that looks active, has a bunch of girls, and who has active meetups. I was on GFS and nothing came of that site, so I would back off that one. Going to the movies alone is fine, going to dinner alone is fine. Nothing wrong with it, but I would really push yourself out of your comfort zone and really start to create your social circle. You're kind of just making excuses to be alone. Even if you do like being alone and you're an introvert, it's nice to know you have a group of people you could go out with if you wanted to. 2
veggirl Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 If I was still in az I'd chill with you but I moved to Philly 3 mos ago so while not going through a break up, I get the alone thing. I browsed meetup but never did a thing, I might try it but yes it sounds nerve wracking. I think dinner or a movie out alone is fine. I miss having girlfriends. It's hard to make friends when you're out of college.
Pandy13 Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 I agreeee with all that has been said. I really hate weekends. During weekdays I go to work and get myself distracted from the break up (I broke up 2 weeks ago and have been on NC since then). I would like to do all the suggested things by myself too but idk it seems to make me feel worse doing things alone so I usually would rather stay home and get on fb to talk to friends. But then I'll see my ex online ALL THE TIMES too, especially since I started doing NC. I won't even try to read into any of this but I'm ready to move on. However, it's sorta hard for me to go out there and meet new guys. I don't want to get guys at the bars bc idk I may have some biases but I don't think they're mind type... I was looking into meetup.com but have never really tried, especially if I have to go to these alone. I just moved to a new area so I barely have any friends here . And I was thinking maybe I should create some sort of social media group like fb for example where I can find people to talk to (I'm not ready for any sort of new relationship yet but I'd like to be connected with people who are going through breakup like myself) and find friends in local areas to hang out with. Anyone in for this?
Sittinginmcds Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 As my name states I'm sitting in McD's alone right now for so long people are assuming I'm homeless. It's hard when everyplace is a reminder of her. 1
Sittinginmcds Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 As my name states I'm sitting in McD's alone right now for so long people are assuming I'm homeless. It's hard when everyplace is a reminder of her. 1
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 I really enjoy going to a bar for a bite to eat/couple drinls by myself. It isn't a blast or anything, but its nice "me" time and sometimes, you end up in conversation with a nice person next to you, but not necessarily a person of romantic interest. However there are still some things I can't do without comapny, like a sporting event or a concert. Believe it or not it can become a 2nd nature just like it was to have a bfriend around. AND...they say men are likely to approach women who are alone becaise groups of women are intimidating. so, never know what could happen. Yeah, I often hang at a restaurant bar by myself. Agreed, it's not the most fun I've ever had, but many times it is better than sitting by myself at home, alone. And, I would totally go to a concert or sporting event by myself. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. I guess the thing I am most scared of is running into the ex somewhere by myself. It seems like it has become some sort of twisted competition that I have already lost . Weird I know, but I just don't want her to see me by myslef, alone. Feel like I will come across as some loser and confirm her reasoning for leaving me. I dunno. Just part of this crazy mix, I guess Oh, and Meetup is good, but as everyone states, you have to put forth the effort. Too bad it's only once or twice a month. Trying to get more involved... One other thing one might try is joining a co-ed sports team. Soccer, volleyball and softball are available in my area. Just hard finding a spot on a team...
ThatJustHappened Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I'm in California..not too far away! I like hanging out alone. I can watch whatever movie I want, I go out to dinner and bring my iPad and read a book, I'll go sit at a bar alone sometimes (I never ever pay for a drink, hahaha). There is absolutely nothing wrong with being alone! Go take a dance or workout class alone..that's a good way to meet other girls. I've met a couple of friends hiking by myself. Classes are also a good way to meet people..I just signed up for a cooking class. Do something YOU want to do that you don't think anyone else would want to do with you..that's a good way to meet people with similar interests.
siankat Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Picking my nose....i prefer doing that when i'm alone.. 2
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 Picking my nose....i prefer doing that when i'm alone.. It's what you do with the results that are important... Stick or flick? 1
LoveB86 Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 I am not into online dating nor online meet-a-friend because of my fear of whose "really" behind the computer lol but like "Thatsjusthappened" mentioned about joining a dance class or cooking class can help. You got a gym membership right? I would check in and see what times are aerobics night or zumba? I am doing serious research on finding a local water jogging class to burn calories in a totally different way. But have to agree that weekend sucks. It's been about 50 days since BU/NC, I am still alone on weekends. I done just about everything I could, but all of this masking the sadness doesn't really help me. I am just letting it pass till it no longer hurts as much. I know the ex is probably having the time of his life with his newly gf. But oh well... one day I'll feel the same entirely since I had the time to grieve the BU.
OzHeartache Posted May 19, 2013 Posted May 19, 2013 . I run a weekly pub trivia on Meetup here in Sydney, Australia. Every single week, I have new people coming. It's great fun. Today (Sun), I'm going to a Meetup to celebrate the demise of our monorail by riding it one last time before they pull it down next month, followed by lunch and shopping in Chinatown. Hey Metal, I'm in Sydney and would be interested in this, all my friends are married and I'm running out of things to do on the weekend!!!! Lol PM me some info???
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