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Breaking up is hard to do, but I did IT! Now I'm feeling..........

Barby

By Barby
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Barby Established Member

Barby

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You're so sweet. I'm still doing well. over 36 hours and no contact! YEAH YEAH! :bunny::bunny: I'm feeling pretty good! Getting ready to head off to bed in a bit but her therapist is sooooooooooo right!

 

Again it affirms what I'm doing is the right thing! Thanks you made me feel better so I"m heading off with a smile and not feeling so bad! :) *hugs*

Merin Established Member

Merin

Posted
Posted
Originally posted by Barby

You're so sweet. I'm still doing well. over 36 hours and no contact! YEAH YEAH! :bunny::bunny: I'm feeling pretty good! Getting ready to head off to bed in a bit but her therapist is sooooooooooo right!

 

Again it affirms what I'm doing is the right thing! Thanks you made me feel better so I"m heading off with a smile and not feeling so bad! :) *hugs*

 

You're more than welcome girl;)

 

Sleep tight!

ntovrhm Established Member

ntovrhm

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I was reading what happened to you, but couldn't post until now. Hang in there, it sounds like you made the only choice you could without totally losing yourself to his mania.

 

The problem is that some people are so giving and nice, that they can't see the bad that would eventually cause their misery and downfall.

 

You did before it got too bad, and thank god for that!

 

Getting sucked into his issues would just cause you misery and hurt in the long run. You had done nothing to justify him treating you that way, and you deserve someone who will appreciate you without the mistrust, and without trying to bleed you dry with their insecurities and needs. You need someone who will just want you to be you, and for you to just want them in return.

lydiamarie Established Member

lydiamarie

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we love you

 

yeah :bunny:

 

yeah :bunny:

 

yeah :bunny:

 

we love you

 

yeah :bunny:

 

yeah :bunny:

 

yeah :bunny:

 

we love you

 

yeah :bunny:

 

yeah :bunny:

 

yeah :bunny:

 

with a love like that...

 

 

who needs a stupid exboyfriend :bunny::bunny::bunny:

 

:D

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Barby Established Member

Barby

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Just a quick check-in...I'm doing well....working on day 3 NC and as I mentioned it's getting easier and easier (not easy but not as difficult).

 

I'm gaining strength and more than I figured I'd be able to...thanks for the encouragement everyone! :bunny:

tiki Established Member

tiki

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Barby, he doesn't know that you're on this website or anything, does he? Congrats on the 3 day NC.

Fayebelle Established Member

Fayebelle

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You're right - I have felt for some time that you were selling yourself short w/your ex- But everyone has to make their own mistakes and learn their own lessons. You were strong enough to see it was time to move on and you will find the strength to keep trucking. There may be bumps in the road but you can make it. I believe in you.

 

You deserve someone who loves you as much as we do.

 

Hugs Love- we're all here for you.

 

:love::bunny::love::bunny: <--- Naked says Be Strong Girl he loves you ;)

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Barby Established Member

Barby

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Thanks and no he doesn't even know how to use a computer nor does he have access to one. (he doesn't speak english so going to the library i doubt he'd ask someone to teach him to use the internet).

 

Plus I'm sure he doesn't know this site exists. Thankfully I haven't heard or seen him! I'm praising God every moment that goes by that he doesn't attempt contact. I'm taking this as a good sign that he's moving on and allowing me to do the same.

 

:):) If someone would have told me that within a few days this heavy weight I was feeling would be lifting slowly off my chest I would have told them "no way you can't know how I feel" but it's actually true! Yeeeah! With a lot of sleep I'm feeling pretty darn good! :bunny::bunny:

  • Author
Barby Established Member

Barby

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Originally posted by Fayebelle

You're right - I have felt for some time that you were selling yourself short w/your ex- But everyone has to make their own mistakes and learn their own lessons. You were strong enough to see it was time to move on and you will find the strength to keep trucking. There may be bumps in the road but you can make it. I believe in you.

 

You deserve someone who loves you as much as we do.

 

Hugs Love- we're all here for you.

 

:love::bunny::love::bunny: <--- Naked says Be Strong Girl he loves you ;)

 

 

AAWWWW! :bunny::bunny::bunny: Thanks! :bunny::bunny::bunny:

 

 

I know I deserve better and I'm still not sure why I stuck around as long as I did. I have a compulsive need to help and try and see the best in others. (Not to mention when I did leave he guilted me into feeling horrible and coming back).

 

I'll keep my head up and my heart on a shelf for a bit. Actually I think I'll lend it

to -----> :bunny: to protect for awhile! :bunny:

 

hahaha!

CurlyIam Established Member

CurlyIam

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I've just read your thread and I wanted to say I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough time, but glad to see you moving on.

 

Not so long ago I have been in your shoes and I confess I totally see myself in this one:

 

I'm so used to taking care of other people that I don't always take care of myself...it gets hard to remember no matter how hard it seems I know it's all for my own good.

 

 

I warn you that in the beginning you'll feel releived. Than you won't be too sure what you feel and you'll think life simply moves on. And then it will be hard. Very hard.You'll get angry at you for the waisted time and at him for his way of being...Then you'll realise that he is gone for good. Bad parts and good parts. Tp methat was truly devastating. I've always found letting go so... emptyining, like giving up a part of me.

 

Keep your friends close, you're not out of the woods yet. This all episode, although heart breaking, will prepare you better for the next relationship, no matter how you feel towards the one that just ended.

 

Cheers,

 

Curly

Merin Established Member

Merin

Posted
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Originally posted by Barby

Thanks and no he doesn't even know how to use a computer nor does he have access to one. (he doesn't speak english so going to the library i doubt he'd ask someone to teach him to use the internet).

 

Plus I'm sure he doesn't know this site exists. Thankfully I haven't heard or seen him! I'm praising God every moment that goes by that he doesn't attempt contact. I'm taking this as a good sign that he's moving on and allowing me to do the same.

 

:):) If someone would have told me that within a few days this heavy weight I was feeling would be lifting slowly off my chest I would have told them "no way you can't know how I feel" but it's actually true! Yeeeah! With a lot of sleep I'm feeling pretty darn good! :bunny::bunny:

 

I'm so happy to hear you're feeling a little better:)

 

Sleep... what an amazing thing uh? LOL

 

Keeping the good thoughts....

tiki Established Member

tiki

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Hangin in there? How's your day today?

 

You're a day closer to a normal life than what you were yesterday! :)

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Barby Established Member

Barby

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Again I'm doing well. Curly I know you're so right, I will be okay though. I go through moments when I just can't believe he's not here then I have to remind myself WHY I did break it off..that helps to ease the pain because he was not treating me right, not even with respect or a shred of dignity so even when I feel sad I don't regret it at all.

 

 

Today again I'm feeling good..(as cheesy as this sounds I'm praying hard for NO CONTACT from him in any way) :) Going on day 4 and feeling okay. :)

  • 2 weeks later...
Merin Established Member

Merin

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Hey Girl!

 

I was just wondering how you're doing? Still with NC?

 

Broke up with my BF over this weekend... Ugh!

 

I was just thinking about you, and wondering how things are going?

  • 2 weeks later...
New to this forum

New to this forum

Posted
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Hey,

this came as a real shock to me cause i did it aswell & i came online just looking for some form of comfort or reassurance and BAM! i read Barby's first post.

 

 

Firstly I commend you Barby, for doing what u did. I can totally relate to u and your past relationship.Today is one of the many days that I broke up with my b/f,but somehow I always get weak and call back and I really hate myself for that.

 

That's another thing too I am really hard on myself.You see the 12th of this month was our 2nd yr anniversary.I can't take it I cry almost everyday I sometimes think that he likes that! I think that i am a very emotional person,you see the slightest bad thing he says to me I break down and i think that's because of my father/parents that another story.Look even now i am not suppose to be online cause he would have a fit,plus even if i'm not online he doesn't believe,like today he thought i was out when i woke up and watched tv all morning.

 

U see i feel as though i have no support if I really end up going through the breakup cause all the friends that i had he made me stop talking to them stop seeing them!Me too just like Barby,had a really close girlfriend but now we don't talk anymore cause of him.I feel like such a failure,coward for allowing him to do this to me.I don't even know when it all started to go bad.But it's worse,he's violent he hit me pushed me around a couple of times but the thing is that I hit him to and "scratch" him aswell.

 

I don't know what i'm looking for or what I think I want from writing this,I don't even know if I'm making sense but I really need help & i am so lonely.It's just me and my dad!I feel as though he wanted me to cut ties with everyone so that he could do whatever he wants with me ......i don't know....i'm not even crying now.....well not yet...

SexualDeviant Member

SexualDeviant

Posted
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Originally posted by Merin2

I so know what you're saying, I do...

 

It isn't dumb to say you feel afraid that he will contact you (because we both know he will) and that is exactly the fear that is driving you now... and I understand.

 

You are not a weak person Barby.... You are someone who has given 110% and loved with all your heart... that takes strength especially in a troubled relationship sometimes...

 

Regardless of what choices you make Barby... don't beat yourself up here... keep the faith girl.

 

 

Well, how do we know for sure, she put 110% into the relationship. maybe she did something to cause this comotion.. there is always 2 sides to the story. or so i'v been told.

Merin Established Member

Merin

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Originally posted by SexualDeviant

Well, how do we know for sure, she put 110% into the relationship. maybe she did something to cause this comotion.. there is always 2 sides to the story. or so i'v been told.

 

Actually there are 3 sides to every story.. HIS, HERS and what ACTUALLY HAPPENED.

 

How do "We" know she gave 110%?? Well from what I know of Barby's story with her boyfriend, I'm going to say she gave 110% and tried with all her heart to make it work.

 

So being that her boyfriend didn't post his troubles in the relationship here.. :rolleyes: and Barby was looking for some support from people on this forum who know of her troubles within the relationship.. she was and is supported here.

SexualDeviant Member

SexualDeviant

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It would be cool, to have the breakuper and the breakupee in here everytime someone posts, so we could get both sides of the story.. that would make it alot easier, to decide what to say ;)

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Barby Established Member

Barby

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I haven't been on for a couple of days so I didn't see my old thread had came back to life again.... :);)

 

New To This Forum, I'm sorry so sorry for what you're going through. Oscar (the guy I posted about in this thread) did give me his all, as I did him but he's a jealous guy with OCD (obessive compulsive disorder) and it went from one thing to being his un-provoked jealousy....now matter how much I love him and want to be with him, his jealousy tore us apart....what you said about the "online" thing..not believing you even if you weren't online and when you were online you can't tell him cuz he thinks you're "doing something wrong" I can totally relate!

 

You can PM me to talk if you like or you can talk to me on the thread.. :)

 

Merlin....thanks for coming to my defense in my absence....:) Yeap I did give my all, no cheating, cooking, cleaning, making love to him, anything and everything he wanted and more I did....he did the same no doubt but his jealousy and him not trusting me is a lot to handle.......so you're right I did my part.... :) And you're right there are 3 sides, mine is only the bad small things I saw in him, his were that he was afraid and non-stop thinking I "could" be cheating or chatting online which I did NEITHER....then their was our "actual" situation, were everyone (including us for the most part) saw our love and dedication to each other, our appreciation for each other except the few times we fought.....so each of us will always see things from a slightly different perspective and I doubt will ever come to realize what it really was....

 

 

SexualDeviant........I'm glad the "breakupee" never came on here...he would be offended and hurt that I "told our business" not that I can blame him but sometimes a girl just needs somewhere to turn and some emotional support....:)

He wasn't and isn't a "bad" guy by any means but since he has "OCD" and it has manifested itself in the "jealousy" form, no matter what I did wasn't enough to prove to him how much I love him....maybe one day it'll work out because we're remaining friends (not w/ benefits) but just friends and things are good maybe we needed a "break" maybe it's for good who knows...but I do believe in my heart of hearts we both gave our 110% (the best we possibly could) :love:

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