Jump to content

Does this count as breaking NC, and does this make me a jackass?

mustangsb27

By mustangsb27
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

mustangsb27 Member

mustangsb27

Posted
Posted

So I've been NC with my ex for going on 14 months. The other day I'm scrolling through my fb newsfeed and lo and behold there's a pic of her and one of our mutual friend's daughter (who is fb friends with me) who had just graduated from college and were at some post-graduation get-together.

I'm pretty much over her and have done pretty well in the moving on department, but seeing this picture kind of triggered a little bit of animosity. Against probably my better judgement, I commented, "Bless her heart." Nothing more.

 

A day later, my ex texts me saying, "There you go again, trying to get a jab at me." I did not respond. Even though my comment was pretty innocuous, my ex knows what a smart a** I am and knows I said it knowing it would get back to her somehow (we blocked each other on fb a year ago).

 

Ok the question(s) are: Did I technically break NC even though it was kind of indirect? Also, was I being a jackass for commenting on that photo? In defense of myself, considering the sh**ty way she treated me when we were dating (well documented on this site) I think I should be able to say anything I want to.

 

Finally, is she trying to draw me off-sides into some sort of dialogue by contacting me? I mean, she pretty much knows what I think of her (not good) already. What can she possibly want? Maybe she wants me to forgive and forget, I don't know. I've done a pretty good job of forgetting. Not totally, but time does make things fade. But forgiving?? Does anyone else besides me have trouble forgiving someone who deserves no mercy? I mean, if your financial advisor walked off with your entire bank account you would really have trouble letting them off the hook. The same with someone who took half of your soul. Very tough to forgive. I don't know that I ever will and that worries me. So wishy washy about it..

 

Anyway, sorry for the extra venting. Any thoughts on anything I said? Any comments would be appreciated!

Minneloa Established Member

Minneloa

Posted
Posted

Well, where I live, "Bless her heart" is often a way to sugarcoat an insult or criticism that follows. In other words, it's a snarky code phrase. Is that part of the regional context here?

 

Other than that, I'd just go back to NC and steer clear or future FB temptations.

soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

Posted
Posted

Yes. You engaged in activity that solicited a response by your ex. Just the fact that you are permitting her access to your newsfeed also indicates that this is not NC. She has your phone number, so again, not NC.

 

One thing I can't get is why the words NO CONTACT seems for so many people to mean voluntary/involuntary access. What I mean is how do you have NO CONTACT if your ex has your phone number (texting), can write messages on your FB??? You may or may not respond, but you are still being influenced by them.

 

Your continued bitter feelings indicate that you are not over her and she still has some influence over you, at least, psychologically.

  • Author
mustangsb27 Member

mustangsb27

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Yes, I was being snarky. The smart a** in me couldn't resist the temptation.

Minneloa Established Member

Minneloa

Posted
Posted

Ok then. I think you just answered the questions in your thread title. ;)

 

Back to NC! And, as the poster below me suggested, take some measures to reduce your mutual access to one another and eliminate these triggers in the future. Block, delete, scorched earth, etc. :cool:

  • Author
mustangsb27 Member

mustangsb27

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Well, I deactivated my facebook account (go me!), so there's a start. Most people are right. Facebook does not help relationships OR help in getting over relationships. Good riddance.

  • Like 1
aisuru Established Member

aisuru

Posted
Posted

Yes it's breaking NC and yes, you were a jackass.

 

If you didn't care one way or the other, you wouldn't have made a comment.

soccerrprp Established Member

soccerrprp

Posted
Posted
Well, I deactivated my facebook account (go me!), so there's a start. Most people are right. Facebook does not help relationships OR help in getting over relationships. Good riddance.

 

What about blocking her on your phone? That one is even bigger. Remove the temptation of contacting her or her you by deleting her number and/or blocking it.

  • Author
mustangsb27 Member

mustangsb27

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Ok, Ok already. So I'm a jackass.. Surely I get some sort of mulligan for all the crap I've been through. Maybe not. 'Twas a moment of weakness for sure. *sigh* Ok, gotta do a better job next time.

aisuru Established Member

aisuru

Posted
Posted
Ok, Ok already. So I'm a jackass.. Surely I get some sort of mulligan for all the crap I've been through. Maybe not. 'Twas a moment of weakness for sure. *sigh* Ok, gotta do a better job next time.

 

We all have those moments.

 

Go forward and mulligan no more.

  • Like 1
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...