How many women are depressed?

[crederer]

I have had many relationships, 3 of which very serious (considering a lifetime together sort of thing).

 

The last two were very depressed. Clinically depressed. Looking back knowing what I know now, the first one was too.

 

My mother is bi-polar. She's medicated and didn't show any signs and I only found out a couple of years ago about this.

 

Of the 5 women closest to me in my life currently, all but one are depressed.

 

I went on a date the other day and the woman pulled out her purse and I noticed there were about 6 or 7 bottles of prescriptions and she said "yeah...I have depression I hope that doesn't change things for you".

 

Now my question is, how many women are depressed? Why do I keep finding them? They are all very good at hiding it until the bond is created (with the exception of this last date I went on).

 

I did a google search and it said one in eight women are clinically depressed. So if that is true, how the hell do I keep getting into these relationships? Is it possible that one in eight is simply women that are seeking treatment? Because many don't.

 

What is happening with me? Being in relationships with these types is very difficult, and I want a normal girl that is emotionally strong.

 

Thanks for any responses.

[Maleficent]

I have had many relationships, 3 of which very serious (considering a lifetime together sort of thing).

 

The last two were very depressed. Clinically depressed. Looking back knowing what I know now, the first one was too.

 

My mother is bi-polar. She's medicated and didn't show any signs and I only found out a couple of years ago about this.

 

Of the 5 women closest to me in my life currently, all but one are depressed.

 

I went on a date the other day and the woman pulled out her purse and I noticed there were about 6 or 7 bottles of prescriptions and she said "yeah...I have depression I hope that doesn't change things for you".

 

Now my question is, how many women are depressed? Why do I keep finding them? They are all very good at hiding it until the bond is created (with the exception of this last date I went on).

 

I did a google search and it said one in eight women are clinically depressed. So if that is true, how the hell do I keep getting into these relationships? Is it possible that one in eight is simply women that are seeking treatment? Because many don't.

 

What is happening with me? Being in relationships with these types is very difficult, and I want a normal girl that is emotionally strong.

 

Thanks for any responses.

 

Bingo! (bolded)

 

First of all, I would say that someone with depression is not emotionally weak. Not at all! sometimes, too much ****s happens all at once and your brain goes 'yeah I'm not dealing with this right now'

Her emotions are affected by chemical imbalance in her brain. Just like a diabetic has insulin imbalance.

 

It is possible that some of these women have seeked the help they needed and are doing better. One just doesn't stop taking anti depressants!

 

Second, understand that some people are chronically depressed and the chemical imbalance in the brains is 'natural' to them. They will most likely have to take medication for the rest of their lives.

 

There is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing wrong with them.

 

Edit : trust me when I say that between a depressed woman that takes no medication and the depressed woman who takes medication - you want the depressed woman that takes medication!

lol

[crederer]

I didn't mean to say that there was something wrong with them. It's just very difficult to be in those relationships and I can't seem to find a girl that is not in a state of depression and I don't know why.

[Almond_Joy]

I was depressed quite often when I was a teen and still had long stretches of depression frequently in my early twenties. I don't recall really having any standards for the guys I dated. That may be the case for other depressed women, which means that they're kind of accepting and embracing whoever accepts and embraces them. You can set boundaries by saying you want someone optimistic and emotionally resilient/stable. That may filter out a lot of chronically depressed women.

[xxoo]

How old are the women you are dating?

 

Emotional strength can come with maturity. Things that throw a young woman into depression (or a young man into rage) can be handled better by someone who's lived a while longer.

[candie13]

There are many different points in your previous post and not all of them have just one common answer.

 

Many people - both male and female - go through depression, at some stage of their lives. Sometimes, it's in their teen years, but a lot of other times, it's later, when they are grown ups and there really is no pattern, able to tell who will be stricken and who will be saved from this disease. A lot of people - and a lot more than just one in eight, I am sure - are affected by this illness, they just didn't figure it out yet.

 

IMHO, it's so common, that I dare say, it's not even you. It's how society is. It's like HPV - over 80% of sexually active people have it, but not aware of it.

 

If I may, it's better to find someone whom you like, irrespective of their being clinically diagnosed with depression or not. IMO, as a person who has been diagnosed with depression, I feel that the quality of my life is a million times better after understanding that, than before, when I had no idea what I was fighting against.

 

As for you wanting an emotionally strong person... I totally get that. But being depressed does not equal to being emotionally clingy. Quite the contrary, depressed people hide their illness from their loved ones, from their families and most importantly, from their partner. My bf doesn't know I am seeing a therapist. I'm handing my life as I best can and keep my "secret garden" to myself.

 

I understand your being sick of seeing this illness in people near you. There's nothing you can do really. I mean... there is: try to not discriminate based on that. Don't judge.

 

It's not the illness, it's how one person chooses to fight against that illness that gives the measure of their true personality. How they decide to face it, to work on themselves, to understand the source of their illness and take control of their life and happiness.

 

Depression is called the sickness of the XXIst century, it's so common... it's the society we live in, it's the challenges we need to face, it's the alienation, the pressure... and of course, our own weakness. No one is unbreakable. The trick is to understand what our limit is.

 

not sure if i've answered all of your questions, though

[candie13]

thx, bb, luv u too !

 

between u and me... guess who's getting more sex tonight, though !

[candie13]

screw you jerk. i'm never getting any sex and am angry about it

 

keep your insults for yourself and go start your own whining threads before polluting other people's!

 

I'm a bit busy explaining you how stuff works - bf's tempting me into oral - but, so just you know, you've been reported to the mods!

 

now you have a real reason of getting angry!

 

have a nice evening, pal !!!

[candie13]

then punch me in the face jerk

 

sorry, I'm a lady, Sir.

 

I would also like to use this opportunity to invite you to refrain yourself from spamming this thread - I happen to really appreciate the OP's questions and would love to hear some other poster's opinions on these matters.