Met girl offline had sex no response now :(

[mindgame13]

Met girl online seemed really keen to meet up, so met up with her. Seemed really nice, had loads of common interests, but seemed like had a bit of hard front up. We went to the beach and she wanted to go there, she wanted to go skinny dipping, but was too cold. We sat on the beach talking about things, She started to soften up and tell me all about her life, turns out she a Christian, and only slept with one person and she hadn't had sex for 8 months and I hadn't had sex for a year.

Before the night was over she said she wanted to see me again! She’s 18 and I’m 21, we started to hit it off, she said that she wanted to see my again, this was our first meeting and we went back to mine. We got into bed and we had sex and that but I wouldn't say she was slut; she wasn’t very experienced at anything. Anyway the whole night went pretty much perfect. Everything was fine in the morning, I dropped her home we kissed and said would see her soon . I sent her a message later that day saying thanks for the evening etc., but got no reply. I sent her another text later that day saying she had left her mark on me the only reply I was "decent x " I left it till later that evening and sent her a message saying how are you? X she read it and didn’t reply, So then here comes my mistake, I sent some texts that were kind of needy saying that could she be honest with me and if she wanted to use me for sex she could of said.

I’m starting to think she felt a bit used etc. and ashamed, however I haven’t spoke to her for almost a week now and want to talk to her again but I’m not sure what to say and whether it’s possible to rectify this.

She was the one that said we clicked and I thought the same. So I’m a bit confused as to what to do, If you have any queries please feel free to ask and I shall.

 

Update: I really would like to see/speak to her again. I met up with her on the Friday/Saturday morning. Only way I had of contacting her was through what's app or mobile or dating website.

My friend is also on the website and he started talking to her Tuesday evening and she said she was seeing someone and that was on the Tuesday and that she had only started seeing them very recently. I don’t know if this implying to me or someone else. I don’t want to come across needy, what to do?

[Drseussgrrl]

Met girl online seemed really keen to meet up, so met up with her. Seemed really nice, had loads of common interests, but seemed like had a bit of hard front up. We went to the beach and she wanted to go there, she wanted to go skinny dipping, but was too cold. We sat on the beach talking about things, She started to soften up and tell me all about her life, turns out she a Christian, and only slept with one person and she hadn't had sex for 8 months and I hadn't had sex for a year.

Before the night was over she said she wanted to see me again! She’s 18 and I’m 21, we started to hit it off, she said that she wanted to see my again, this was our first meeting and we went back to mine. We got into bed and we had sex and that but I wouldn't say she was slut; she wasn’t very experienced at anything. Anyway the whole night went pretty much perfect. Everything was fine in the morning, I dropped her home we kissed and said would see her soon . I sent her a message later that day saying thanks for the evening etc., but got no reply. I sent her another text later that day saying she had left her mark on me the only reply I was "decent x " I left it till later that evening and sent her a message saying how are you? X she read it and didn’t reply, So then here comes my mistake, I sent some texts that were kind of needy saying that could she be honest with me and if she wanted to use me for sex she could of said.

I’m starting to think she felt a bit used etc. and ashamed, however I haven’t spoke to her for almost a week now and want to talk to her again but I’m not sure what to say and whether it’s possible to rectify this.

She was the one that said we clicked and I thought the same. So I’m a bit confused as to what to do, If you have any queries please feel free to ask and I shall.

 

Update: I really would like to see/speak to her again. I met up with her on the Friday/Saturday morning. Only way I had of contacting her was through what's app or mobile or dating website.

My friend is also on the website and he started talking to her Tuesday evening and she said she was seeing someone and that was on the Tuesday and that she had only started seeing them very recently. I don’t know if this implying to me or someone else. I don’t want to come across needy, what to do?

 

Having sex with someone the first time you meet offline is not typically something a nice, Christian girl who's only been with one other person does. Come on now. Why don't people take their time anymore?

 

It's simple. You didn't do it for her in the sack. If I have great sex with a dude I like I'm immediately wondering when we can do it again.

[kaylan]

Having sex with someone the first time you meet offline is not typically something a nice, Christian girl who's only been with one other person does. Come on now. Why don't people take their time anymore?

 

It's simple. You didn't do it for her in the sack. If I have great sex with a dude I like I'm immediately wondering when we can do it again.

Take their time? Did you or did you not go home with a couple in some bar and have a threesome? So I think you know first hand why people dont wait.

 

Sometimes you just wanna get it in, and feel comfortable enough to do so.

 

I wouldnt jump to the conclusion that OP was lame in bed. Some girls bounce around, or they have another guy whos their main dude. In which case other guys can be used and tossed away quickly.

[Drseussgrrl]

There's a difference between a one-night stand and sex within the confines of dating.

 

Not really sure how my having had a threesome 6 months ago continues to make its way into threads - all brought up by men, no less.

[kaylan]

There's a difference between a one-night stand and sex within the confines of dating.

 

Not really sure how my having had a threesome 6 months ago continues to make its way into threads - all brought up by men, no less.

You cannot make a little statement wondering about why people rush when they have sex, when you have done exactly the same.

 

You should know exactly why people rush to have sex then. That was my point. Its really quite logical. That like me wondering why people like oreo cookies, despite eating them myself. In which case I should have an idea of why people like oreos.

 

Excuse me for having a good memory in regards to posters on this forum. And excuse me for being a man and daring to present a rational inquiry regarding your response. My gender has nothing to do with what I said. Neither does yours.

Edited May 17, 2013 by kaylan

[Drseussgrrl]

You cannot make a little statement wondering about why people rush when they have sex, when you have done exactly the same.

 

You should know exactly why people rush to have sex then. That was my point. Its really quite logical. That like me wondering why people like oreo cookies, despite eating them myself. In which case I should have an idea of why people like oreos.

 

It's not "rushing" if it's a one night stand dude. That's the point. It's just sex.

 

But this isn't about me. I gave my opinion about why the chick poofed on him.

[kaylan]

Also,

 

Rushed sex is rushed sex....doesnt matter if its a fling or not. People rush sex in flings for many of the same reasons they rush them in dating.

 

You should know exactly why people rush to have sex seeing as youve rushed not long ago. Again, I dont see how you can ask "why do people rush sex?" when you yourself have jumped into bed with people you barely know.

 

Whether its dating or a fling, jumping into bed quickly with someone looks the same to me on both fronts. They are done for the same reasons usually--instant satisfaction.

[RedRobin]

OP, if you think you like a girl, don't have sex on the first date.

 

If I were her, I wouldn't contact you again either.

 

The only time I had a ONS myself was years ago, before I was married. He tried to contact me afterwards too, and I refused to see him. My friends said he was hurt... and at the time, I believed them. I've never done that again.

 

I don't believe that anymore. That he was hurt, that is. I think now that men just get confused when they have sex relatively soon with a woman who isn't a 'slut' and the same woman isn't chasing them or believing for two seconds that they aren't going to be judged.

 

She made a bad choice, and sounds like she is rectifying it by refusing to see you.

 

Next time, OP, show some discretion yourself... is my suggestion. It is not responsible to leave things all up to the woman to manage... especially since you like the word 'slut'...

[kaylan]

^Um....plenty of guys do get used and hurt by women who have sex and then barely talk to them. We do have feelings ya know. Some guys get caught up in their emotions, and hope for a new relationship, that they rush things. Its not just girls who like a guy a lot, have sex, and then get hurt if the other person doesnt feel the same way.

[Drseussgrrl]

Also,

 

Rushed sex is rushed sex....doesnt matter if its a fling or not. People rush sex in flings for many of the same reasons they rush them in dating.

 

You should know exactly why people rush to have sex seeing as youve rushed not long ago. Again, I dont see how you can ask "why do people rush sex?" when you yourself have jumped into bed with people you barely know.

 

Whether its dating or a fling, jumping into bed quickly with someone looks the same to me on both fronts. They are done for the same reasons usually--instant satisfaction.

 

This thread shouldn't be made about judging me for something I've done in the past, but it makes you feel better up there on your high horse, than so be it.

 

Do you actually have any advice for the OP?

[kaylan]

PS -

 

OP, take this as a lesson learned in your young life. Dont show your hand too quickly to girls you barely know. If you have sex, cool. But dont put a foot forward if the girl isnt doing the same.

This thread shouldn't be made about judging me for something I've done in the past, but it makes you feel better up there on your high horse, than so be it.

 

Do you actually have any advice for the OP?

Wow, you dont get it. Im not judging you. I dont care that youve had threesomes. Ive had less than a vanilla sexual past myself. I dont care if youve rushed too, as Ive done the same.

 

My point was that you cant question the OP rushing or why other people rush, acting like you dont know the reasons why. You know exactly why people rush. Youre in the rush group...just like I am.

 

Id question myself the same way if I ran into a thread asking "why do people not wait anymore?" I know exactly why they dont wait, because I lack patience myself.

Edited May 17, 2013 by kaylan

[happydate]

Met girl online seemed really keen to meet up, so met up with her. Seemed really nice, had loads of common interests, but seemed like had a bit of hard front up. We went to the beach and she wanted to go there, she wanted to go skinny dipping, but was too cold. We sat on the beach talking about things, She started to soften up and tell me all about her life, turns out she a Christian, and only slept with one person and she hadn't had sex for 8 months and I hadn't had sex for a year.

Before the night was over she said she wanted to see me again! She’s 18 and I’m 21, we started to hit it off, she said that she wanted to see my again, this was our first meeting and we went back to mine. We got into bed and we had sex and that but I wouldn't say she was slut; she wasn’t very experienced at anything. Anyway the whole night went pretty much perfect. Everything was fine in the morning, I dropped her home we kissed and said would see her soon . I sent her a message later that day saying thanks for the evening etc., but got no reply. I sent her another text later that day saying she had left her mark on me the only reply I was "decent x " I left it till later that evening and sent her a message saying how are you? X she read it and didn’t reply, So then here comes my mistake, I sent some texts that were kind of needy saying that could she be honest with me and if she wanted to use me for sex she could of said.

I’m starting to think she felt a bit used etc. and ashamed, however I haven’t spoke to her for almost a week now and want to talk to her again but I’m not sure what to say and whether it’s possible to rectify this.

She was the one that said we clicked and I thought the same. So I’m a bit confused as to what to do, If you have any queries please feel free to ask and I shall.

 

Update: I really would like to see/speak to her again. I met up with her on the Friday/Saturday morning. Only way I had of contacting her was through what's app or mobile or dating website.

My friend is also on the website and he started talking to her Tuesday evening and she said she was seeing someone and that was on the Tuesday and that she had only started seeing them very recently. I don’t know if this implying to me or someone else. I don’t want to come across needy, what to do?

 

It's a one night stand. She found you cute, but not a LTR kind but because maybe she hadn't it for quite awhile and you're available and nice, she let you have sex with her. She had a good time and you had a good time. She just want to leave it at that. If she really liked you as a LTR, then she'll contact you for more. Men do the same with women too.

 

Being Christian does not mean they are sexually reserved. In fact, they might want sex more because the religion forbids sex before marriage or adultery which is a sinful act. So being Christian does not mean she has to be mother Mary and she's being deprived and as any human female, when you need it you get it on!

[clia]

For whatever reason, she is not interested in pursuing anything with you. If she was, she would have responded to you by now. Given the amount of texts you've sent her, she knows you want to see her again. There is nothing you can do at this point except move on. The person she mentioned to your friend is clearly not you if you haven't heard from her.

 

And if you think this girl is some innocent, inexperienced, Christian angel, you are crazy. Those types of girls don't suggest skinny dipping with a man they just met or have sex with a man they just met.

[happydate]

Also,

 

Rushed sex is rushed sex....doesnt matter if its a fling or not. People rush sex in flings for many of the same reasons they rush them in dating.

 

You should know exactly why people rush to have sex seeing as youve rushed not long ago. Again, I dont see how you can ask "why do people rush sex?" when you yourself have jumped into bed with people you barely know.

 

Whether its dating or a fling, jumping into bed quickly with someone looks the same to me on both fronts. They are done for the same reasons usually--instant satisfaction.

 

If you aren't meant to be with that one, whether or not you're rushing it or not does not really matter. I have done so much dating and realized that, if I wait I don't get sex and got dumped. If I didn't wait, I get sex anyhow. I followed the 90days rule and got no sex, but dated 4 times and got great sex and got dumped or I dumped her the same amount of time when waiting. Years of dating I found that if I'm authentic, that's all that matters. So many people game playing these days with rules and regulations. If you get dumped, move on. That's the luxury of experience.

 

People seemed to think that SEX is the cause of the breakup. God never said sex is a sinful act. What he meant is the intent BEHIND the SEX that is the sinful act. If she's only thinking of him as a cheap quick lay because he's there, he's nice and he's safe to have sex with, she'll do it and dump him. If he waits 60 days or 6months and then have it with her, but her intent DID NOT change (she never want to be with him LTR), sex or no sex will not matter in keeping the relationship. If the man's intent behind a relationship is to treat her as a piece of sex meat, then that's a sinful act as well as the woman. There was never an intent to help each other progress their personal spiritual growth, so sex done this way will eventually crumble their relationship. Whether you have sex in threesome or foursome really is the personal choice of that person and the intent behind it. Is it spiritually good or for your own selfish motives?!? You can only be rewarded for your intent if it is purely for spiritual growth. Whether you are Christian or not, if her intent is to get sex and not serve the lord, that's her choice and she has the freewill to do so. The results that come out of it will not be pleasant.

Edited May 17, 2013 by happydate

[aussietigerwolf]

90 days??? there's a rule that says you're supposed to wait 90 days before having sex with someone?

[happydate]

90 days??? there's a rule that says you're supposed to wait 90 days before having sex with someone?

 

Yeap.

 

Here it is. Women apply it.

 

The 90 Day Rule To All Men "Probation Period" // General

 

As I said before; I tried it with a woman that insisted this and still isn't as successful as if I did it authentically from the heart. Maybe some people have excellent luck than me. As soon as sex starts, the ticking dumping time bomb starts always.

 

Edited May 17, 2013 by happydate

[RedRobin]

^Um....plenty of guys do get used and hurt by women who have sex and then barely talk to them. We do have feelings ya know. Some guys get caught up in their emotions, and hope for a new relationship, that they rush things. Its not just girls who like a guy a lot, have sex, and then get hurt if the other person doesnt feel the same way.

 

Men of LS (besides the OP)... please raise your hands if you felt used and hurt when a woman had sex with you on the first date, then didn't return your calls afterward.

 

(chirp, chirp... chirp, chirp)

 

Don't get me wrong... I know it DOES happen... but most of the time, things will be awkward for the woman no matter how much she does or doesn't like the guy... so if the guy wants a decent start at a relationship, he will do his best not to create situations where either would be tempted. Is my best advice...

 

... and, FYI... is one of my main indicators of a guy who is actually seeking a relationship with ME... he will use discretion himself. Any other behavior and I know straight away he's not looking for a relationship no matter what he says... he's showing with his actions he doesn't respect me if he's going to push for that so early.

 

This is why women who are looking for a relationship are wise to walk away if things get out of hand on the first 'date'... no questions asked... just move on and try not to put oneself in that position again...