My boyfriend began taking coke.

[Kate321]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. When we began dating he used to occasionally smoke weed with his friends. I really didn't mind it until it soon became an everyday habit. I tried to talking to him about it but he told me that it was just for fun and it was nowhere near an addiction. So I stopped paying attention to it but it still really bothered me, as personally I am against drug use. During the summer him and his friends tried ecstasy and amphetamines. He sometimes did it throughout the year when they managed to get some. I talked to him about it and he said that he will stop when he moves countries and this is all just a part of being young (he is turning 20). He keeps smoking weed everyday, he and his friends have no other interests. Now they began snorting coke (he is hiding it from me). I am just exhausted of fights about the drugs, i am ready to give up. I don't understand if he is addicted or not and if its normal, I considered breaking up with him but I really love him and can't just do it so easily. I am constantly upset but try to not think about it. Please give me some advice on what should I do.

 

Thank you!

[TaraMaiden]

Get this, and get this through your head, and get this through your head, now:

 

His drug addiction will be stronger than you, and stronger than his consideration for you.

 

If you're going to fight the drug - you WILL lose.

 

The only person who can sincerely, truly and deeply affect him, and make him see this is a dangerous and slippery slope, and that he needs to stop Now, is him.

 

You need to safeguard your sanity, well-being and future, and leave this now.

 

Don't for one moment fall into the trap of protesting "Oh but I love him, I can't leave him, he means too much to me...."

 

Forget it.

If he is disregarding your considerations and opinions, and hiding taking coke from you - he already considers you second-best to what he's doing.

 

Go.

 

Go now, or I swear, you will live to regret this for a long time.

[Keenly]

you should have 'given up' when he started with the weed.

 

Right because its impossible to be a normal person and smoke weed

 

I've smoked weed every day for eight years and in intelligent, marginally successful, and leada perfectly normal life.

 

 

The coke is really bad though and you need to make it clear he cant have north you and that drug.

[TaraMaiden]

It's too late.

If he's begun doing it, secretly, behind her back, with buddies - it's too late.

 

I've smoked weed every day for eight years and in intelligent, marginally successful, and leada perfectly normal life.

 

Weed always affects you. (Watch your typing, by the way.....)

 

The perception of how it affects a user, is diametrically opposite to the way others feel it has affected the user.

 

I know several people who have been smoking weed for some considerable time.

 

The people they are 'off' the weed, is very different to the people they are when 'on' it.

 

of course it affects you.

Any recreational and habitual drug, changes you over time. It has to, by very virtue of the fact that you take it to change the way you feel.

[Keenly]

It's too late.

If he's begun doing it, secretly, behind her back, with buddies - it's too late.

 

 

 

Weed always affects you. (Watch your typing, by the way.....)

 

The perception of how it affects a user, is diametrically opposite to the way others feel it has affected the user.

 

I know several people who have been smoking weed for some considerable time.

 

The people they are 'off' the weed, is very different to the people they are when 'on' it.

 

of course it affects you.

Any recreational and habitual drug, changes you over time. It has to, by very virtue of the fact that you take it to change the way you feel.

 

 

Any time you see my typing suck its because I'm on my phone, and my thumbs are too big for the keys and my auto correct is the bane of my existence. If I was in front of a keyboard it would be flawless. I'm at work every day until 8, so I don't even smoke until then. I'd also put my entire life savings, 10k dollars, that you would not be able to tell the difference between me high and me sober.

 

 

Of course people are different on than off, its the exact same thing as some ones "glass of wine."

 

 

 

OP, your boyfriend will be just fine. For about 3 weeks. Then you will see something else. Coke is not a recreational drug.

[pureinheart]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 and a half years. When we began dating he used to occasionally smoke weed with his friends. I really didn't mind it until it soon became an everyday habit. I tried to talking to him about it but he told me that it was just for fun and it was nowhere near an addiction. So I stopped paying attention to it but it still really bothered me, as personally I am against drug use. During the summer him and his friends tried ecstasy and amphetamines. He sometimes did it throughout the year when they managed to get some. I talked to him about it and he said that he will stop when he moves countries and this is all just a part of being young (he is turning 20). He keeps smoking weed everyday, he and his friends have no other interests. Now they began snorting coke (he is hiding it from me). I am just exhausted of fights about the drugs, i am ready to give up. I don't understand if he is addicted or not and if its normal, I considered breaking up with him but I really love him and can't just do it so easily. I am constantly upset but try to not think about it. Please give me some advice on what should I do.

 

Thank you!

 

Run. Now.

Psychosis - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

This is long, although towards the bottom it lists the legal and illegal drugs that cause psychosis...I would suggest you read the entire thing.

 

Ask yourself this question: Is this what you had envisioned for your life?

[TaraMaiden]

I'd also put my entire life savings, 10k dollars, that you would not be able to tell the difference between me high and me sober.

 

And if I had the funds I'd match you, because I can guarantee i can tell. I've been around it for longer than I'd care to admit and I can spot it a mile off.....

 

Of course people are different on than off, its the exact same thing as some ones "glass of wine."

 

Sadly, people who have had a drink, also protest that they're perfectly fine, and they don't have a problem 'holding their drink' - as so many drivers convicted of DUI will testify.

Perception is always, but always different, depending on which side of the 'stuff' you're on.

I get it's not a severe drug. I get it's actually quite light.... but it's still a drug.

 

OP, your boyfriend will be just fine. For about 3 weeks. Then you will see something else. Coke is not a recreational drug.

I completely agree here. OP, you need to look to yourself.

 

Now.

[2sure]

I had a coke addiction. It started just as fun once in awhile. Then it got to the amount of money I made correlated to how much coke I had , and then it came to going out and living life without coke did not appeal to me. And then I hit rock bottom. It took ...maybe three years start to finish. In the middle I lost jobs, friends, and family. And I'm not someone who ever cared for weed. It was just a fun casual thing. I blew through...probably 200 thousand dollars.

[pureinheart]

I had a coke addiction. It started just as fun once in awhile. Then it got to the amount of money I made correlated to how much coke I had , and then it came to going out and living life without coke did not appeal to me. And then I hit rock bottom. It took ...maybe three years start to finish. In the middle I lost jobs, friends, and family. And I'm not someone who ever cared for weed. It was just a fun casual thing. I blew through...probably 200 thousand dollars.

 

It's no game is it...

 

I've seen people such as OP turn into users. My ex's sister- we all talked her into doing a line of coke.

 

She progressed to meth. She had the most beautiful complexion. After a couple of years with meth- she has really bad scars now from picking at her face.

 

At 14 had my first drink of alcohol.

 

At 15 smoked my first joint.

 

At 16 smoked and drank frequently.

 

At 17 and 18 did everything, priding myself on the list accumulated daily of all sorts of drugs "just for fun".

 

Was it fun, or for fun? No, I had some serious issues that I was running from and wanted to numb out "for fun".

 

Please take heed in the responses- as 2S illustrates through personal experience and Tara illustrates through seeing the lives of others, it is certainly no game AND you could find yourself in it that quick.

 

Research it, it's scary- there are many before and after pictures of meth users. Drugs distort everything, especially when taken without a medical need.

 

Oh and check out what they cut these drugs with, especially meth- even scarier.

 

My sarcasm is not meant to be mean OP concerning the "fun" thing. If I can talk one person out of a life of drugs, I'll even be sarcastic- I fear you could be next simply because you are allowing it that close to you. I've seen it many times.

Edited May 18, 2013 by pureinheart

[Foreverandalwaysxo]

I had an ex that was always doing coke... He ended up pushing me down the stairs and punched a whole in his wall right beside my face. When he was sober he was great, when he was on coke he was abusive... Never again will i get involve with a guy that does coke.

[xpaperxcutx]

People who partake in any recreational substances have the potential to progress into other stronger substances. Be it weed, mdma, or meth, people are all capable of developing dependencies on them.

 

OP, if your bf is already progressing to coke you can expect him he either needs to go to rehab now to kick the habit or he's going to sprial down into an addictive oblivion. There's no grey area for meth. If you have seen those pictures of meth users, they become a shadow of their former selves.

[pureinheart]

People who partake in any recreational substances have the potential to progress into other stronger substances. Be it weed, mdma, or meth, people are all capable of developing dependencies on them.

 

OP, if your bf is already progressing to coke you can expect him he either needs to go to rehab now to kick the habit or he's going to sprial down into an addictive oblivion. There's no grey area for meth. If you have seen those pictures of meth users, they become a shadow of their former selves.

 

Is that "E"?

[pureinheart]

I had an ex that was always doing coke... He ended up pushing me down the stairs and punched a whole in his wall right beside my face. When he was sober he was great, when he was on coke he was abusive... Never again will i get involve with a guy that does coke.

 

Oh my:(:( (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))), glad you're out!

[Jon Tenzo]

I'd say leave him if he does Coke or Meth. Those are the two that are going to make him violent and potentially dangerous to be around. The others not so much. But to me 20 is young and a time when you experiment and do drugs. Now if he's 25 and still experimenting then it's a problem. You shouldn't even be dating seriously at that age.

[Babolat]

My ex gf told me when we met she use to use coke, a lot of coke, 5+ years prior to us meeting. She stopped as she did not like the lifestyle and the people around her, the circles she was running in.

 

4 months into dating she did coke one weekend while out with friends. She said she had to be honest and tell me. I asked it she planned to do it again, she said no, not anytime soon as she did not like how she felt on it. She never said "never again" though.

 

In 12 months of dating I have no idea if she did use it again; I never asked. I still struggle with this as she was not a regular user. She would smoke pot too, then again not a regular user. 2 tims in frotn of me in 12 months. She is poor so I know she was not buying; only did this if offered and in the mood.

[robaday]

This is more about the OP - if she doesnt want a guy doing drugs she shouldnt date him, its that simple. At 20 hes going to experiment, I did, millions of others have, theres not a great deal you can do about it, fighting with him over it wont make a blind bit of difference but make him resent you - if he fought with you because you liked a glass of wine what would you do? stop?

 

Not every user becomes an addict, just like not everyone who likes a drink becomes an alcoholic.

[almond]

Your boyfriend is lying to you. He is at a point in his life where partying with his friends is a priority, and at 19 years old, this is somewhat normal.

 

He is not ready for a serious relationship. You cannot control his drug use, and the nagging and arguing will only make him retreat further.

 

If he is using cocaine daily, then it is definitely an issue. I am absolutely not against informed recreational drug use, but unfortunately, what you have described in your post is abuse.

 

Get out.