Treasa Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Women, how do you feel when you're being asked to come up with a venue for a date because he can't think of any? When the man initiated the date. Do you take it as him giving you a chance to pick somewhere you like? Or that he's not pulling his weight? Would you go through with the date? "Thank God we're going to be going to a good restaurant and not a **** one."
Imajerk17 Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Women, how do you feel when you're being asked to come up with a venue for a date because he can't think of any? When the man initiated the date. Do you take it as him giving you a chance to pick somewhere you like? Or that he's not pulling his weight? Would you go through with the date? I have mixed feelings about this. As a guy I always pick the place and do most of the driving for the first date. But caseinpoint, since you put it that way... your attitude strikes me as somewhat entitled, a "Princess" mentality on your part. By *you* not picking a place, are *you* not pulling *your* weight? My advice would be to mention a nearby Starbucks and be done with it.
serial muse Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I wouldn't really have a problem with it. Come to think of it, I think most of my OL dates asked me to pick the initial place. It would have been nice to have someone else pick a place for a change, but I suspect it's out of some vague idea that "the woman should choose". I didn't really think much about it. Have to admit though...this: He suggested the date and the cuisine. Why suggest all that and then say you don't know any place for that? is kind of weird, to me. If someone's going to pick a cuisine, I think the onus is on that person to pick the restaurant, too. That's just strange.
Star Gazer Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 That's the way to do it! I was just asked out last night via my preferred method: He CALLED, and after a little bit of chit chat, asked, "I'd like to take you out. I was thinking we could [insert activity and place here] on Thursday or Friday. How does that sound?" He thought of something/had a plan, and asked for approval/input on that plan, albeit somewhat indirectly. Worked like a charm.
Star Gazer Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 I have mixed feelings about this. As a guy I always pick the place and do most of the driving for the first date. But caseinpoint, since you put it that way... your attitude strikes me as somewhat entitled, a "Princess" mentality on your part. By *you* not picking a place, are *you* not pulling *your* weight? My advice would be to mention a nearby Starbucks and be done with it. You're being unnecessarily harsh. If you ask someone out, part of "pulling your weight" to that end is actually planning the date. You're asking them to spend time with you, you should have that time and how it's going to be spent already in mind. Do you invite people to a dinner party and then ask them to pick the venue and plan the menu? No? How is this any different? 1
Estate Posted May 20, 2013 Posted May 20, 2013 Women, how do you feel when you're being asked to come up with a venue for a date because he can't think of any? When the man initiated the date. Do you take it as him giving you a chance to pick somewhere you like? Or that he's not pulling his weight? Would you go through with the date? Oh for crap sake. If you'd dump a guy for just trying to give you the option of finding out where you might like to go, then dump him, he's better off with someone more mature than this crap. Sorry.
musemaj11 Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 (edited) From my own experience and my observations of other guys, when a guy asks a girl where she wants to go for a date, its simply because he wants to make sure that she will like the venue of the date. Nothing else. Edited May 21, 2013 by musemaj11
Imajerk17 Posted May 21, 2013 Posted May 21, 2013 (edited) You're being unnecessarily harsh. If you ask someone out, part of "pulling your weight" to that end is actually planning the date. You're asking them to spend time with you, you should have that time and how it's going to be spent already in mind. Do you invite people to a dinner party and then ask them to pick the venue and plan the menu? No? How is this any different? I'm actually not sure how apt the dinner party analogy is. If you're talking with someone from a dating site, then making plans to meet up is what both parties have in mind, with (theoretically) 50% on each party. It isn't really a host-guest relationship where the host is supposed to plan the party and everything and all the guest has to do is to show up and be good company. If the woman was the one who suggested meeting up it might very well fall on the guy to plan where and when too, by the way. I am curious as to how caseinpoint is pulling her weight here. Edited May 21, 2013 by Imajerk17
Author caseinpoint Posted May 24, 2013 Author Posted May 24, 2013 I'm actually not sure how apt the dinner party analogy is. If you're talking with someone from a dating site, then making plans to meet up is what both parties have in mind, with (theoretically) 50% on each party. It isn't really a host-guest relationship where the host is supposed to plan the party and everything and all the guest has to do is to show up and be good company. If the woman was the one who suggested meeting up it might very well fall on the guy to plan where and when too, by the way. I am curious as to how caseinpoint is pulling her weight here. I've been tasked with pulling the weight by coming up with a venue.
Recommended Posts