siankat Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Bit of history: Split up with ex 4 months ago as i found out he was trying to date other women. Minimal contact since. NC last 2 months +. He gets in touch with a classic breadcrumb. I respond for him to leave me alone. Then message again if there is anything he wanted to actually tell me. Wrong i know but ok it's done. I try hard to do the right thing but i have tendencies that i gave into in the past that i don't want to relive. However it's hard now as my friend is going through an awful relationship that involves abuse of all kinds and the police etc, and we are back in touch now after she went awol for 6 months, i am trying to get on with my ambitions but it's all self motivated and so i find it hard to focus (i work as well but not as much as i used to and i think lack of structure plays a factor),. My breaking nc (which i knew i would), coupled with my friend's situation, my situation in general (chosen by me but the hard road), and my tendencies to dance with the devil so to speak, i am finding it very very hard to keep on track and it's taking all my strength and mantras just to ride this out and not do something stupid. Can anyone relate or help with advice on how i can make this easier on myself? Thanks in advance
BustedUpInside Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Hmmm, this is really tough, isn't it. I know when I start obsessing on things like that it usually takes awhile to break free of that way of thinking. For me, one thing that tends to work is to try and stall my thinking. For example, "I can obsess about my ex later, but for now, I really need to make this budget and pay the bills, then do laundry, then clean the house." Or, "I have to work out, and meet a friend for lunch. When I get home, if I still feel like crying, I will." For me, by putting off thinking about him and trying to do all my chores and social activities first, sometimes it is days or even as long as a week before I really succumb to the urge to sit and pine for awhile. You should try it, the only thing that might happen is that you get some extra work around the house done. 1
Author siankat Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 So true, i know it sounds silly but, sometimes i just need to hear it. It's been a testing day so thank you 1
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