SadHatter Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Hi, I really need to talk to someone about something major that's been going on in my life over the last few months, and I think a girl is probably the best person to tell me what is going on here - I would be very grateful for any advice/help... My ex-girlfriend broke up with me after a 3-year relationship in June and I found out afterwards she'd been seeing her boss from work behind my back for the last month or so of our relationship (she's just turned 19, he's 32 (I am just turned 22 for the record)) so obviously I was very shocked and upset. He then rang me from her mobile phone a couple of days after I found out and told me that, "She was laying naked on his bed and he was just about to shag her, and how did I feel?" and then he hung up. I was obviously very, very angry and upset. Anyway – that was that. I cut all contact from her and haven't seen or spoken to her since. I found out pretty soon after that she'd moved in with him and then a month later, they were engaged! I was stunned, although by now I guess I shouldn't have been shocked by anything she did. I was so hurt and went off the rails a bit after that, out drinking a lot etc. etc. couldn't believe how everything had changed so much and couldn't understand how she could forget me so quick and move on without giving me a second thought after 3 years together, in which time we were happy and closer than I have ever been to anyone. Pretty much every weekend she'd spend the entire weekend with me at my parents house (I live with parents at the moment while I am studying). Anyway, about a month ago I received a blank text message on my phone from her, it didn't have any content to it, just a blank message. So I simply ignored it. About three hours later, I receive a text message from her saying, "hi, sorry, I think my phone accidentally text you earlier when it was in my bag, anyway, sorry, take care xxx" and I ignored it again. Two weeks ago it was my birthday – and I receive another text at midnight from her saying, "hi, just wanted to say happy birthday, good luck for when you go back to uni, xxx" and again I ignored it. Then last Friday I get another text message from her saying, "hey, I went to Cambridge last weekend with my boyfriend and it reminded me of you (cos I go to uni in Cambridge) and I miss you sometimes, how r u? I am going to uni tomorrow, bit nervous xxx" – again I ignored the text. Anyway, just needed some advice here, I can't talk to anyone about this since my parents absolutely hate her, and in fact had a couple of run-ins with her over the way she treated me and also my friends hate her now too, so I can't talk to anyone about this. Then yesterday I saw my friend and he said he saw her in the dentist last week and she just said how she was getting ready to go to university this weekend and how everything was going great with her new boyfriend (fiancé) and he was going down to her university to stay with her this weekend coming up. So what is she doing texting me? At first I thought maybe she regretted what she did or something, not that I'd ever take her back, but it doesn't seem so, since she's saying how great it is with her boyfriend and he's going to see her this weekend. Can someone please tell me what she's playing at and what I do now?!
supermom Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Since you did the no contact thing she is wondering how are you doing, I personally wouldnt answer her. She doesn't deserve your time. She is thinking about you and probably feeling some remorse BUT if you start contacting her again it will only hurt you in the end. Her fiance sounds very immature for his age calling you like that. They both deserve each other and you deserve better! Good Luck
Author SadHatter Posted September 28, 2004 Author Posted September 28, 2004 Hey, thanks for the advice...don't think she is missing me/regretting it then? Not that I'd get back with her, but might make me feel a bit better! Probably not though...
supermom Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Shes probably wondering how you're doing after all the s*** she put you though. I don't know really how she feels about you, but maybe her concience is getting to her. You never know..
littleandy Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 SadHatter Dude u sound like u in the same situatoin as i am i wasnt with my ex as long as u ( 1yr 6 months) but it was only a few days after we split up she told me she had met someone else( im thinkin she meet him b4 she split up with me , even tho i suggested the break cus i was gettin fed up of MAKIN the effort)..my ex was only 19 an very imature , im 24
Author SadHatter Posted September 28, 2004 Author Posted September 28, 2004 Thanks Supermom - much appreciated Andy - that sucks....I wouldn't wish what I was going through on anyone else...is your ex-gf still with this guy? U still talk to her and how r the two of them getting on?
Splatty Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Same situation here. 3.5 years and she started dating some guy from work before I really knew we were broken up. She's 22 I'm 23. Guess imature can have a bit of a range. Anyway SadHatter and littleandy let me know how long your ex's rebound relationships last. My friends and I are taking bets on my ex's. haha. I give it 3 months some give it 4 months. SadHatter: Here is my question to you, if she is so happy why the **** is she calling you? My guess it that she is exagerating how great **** is going. I love my ex a lot but come-on guys, if they did it once they would do it again! Boys in time our pain will be gone and we will look back on our situations and laugh. Not to mention thank God that these relationships ended so we would be free to meet girls that are mature and great.
Author SadHatter Posted September 29, 2004 Author Posted September 29, 2004 Good point mate, sorry to hear that you had this s**t as well. Anyway, she's gone to uni now, 3 hours away, if that guy wants to be the one who has to trust her while she's away, let him, cos I know I certainly wouldn't!!!
CurlyIam Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Very nicely put, SadHatter! At best, it's just curiosity eating her alive. Let her. Maybe the novelty has worn off and she discovers a 32 years old, although mature and understandng... is just plain boring. She made the biggest mistake of her life, it would better be something more than a couple of messages to say she's sorry !
Author SadHatter Posted September 29, 2004 Author Posted September 29, 2004 Yeah maybe you're right mate...although she's probably just trying to be nice because she feels guilty and is trying to ease her conscience!
CurlyIam Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 If she had a conscience, my friend, I reckon things would have been a bit different. I doubt she realised what she has done untill now. I wish it would be conscience. But conscience means feeling guitly and you don't send messages asking"how are you" when you feel guilty. You send messages saying "I'm sorry"or "let's be friends" or "I've been a total b!tch". I simply do not understand where she has the nerve. MAybe because she's immature and she doesn't really care or understand the consequences of her own deeds. All she feels is curiosity. Most appaling, I may say ( Curly (I must confess I have a lot of ego when it comes to being dumped for someone else, so I may get a bit carried away )
Author SadHatter Posted September 29, 2004 Author Posted September 29, 2004 Well something good has come out of it anyway mate - it has spurred me into pushing my music, which is something I always wanted to do and now I've sung in front of a few hundred people on numerous occassions and have just made my first CD, which I never would have done if we'd been together since she wouldn't let me because, "I'd go off with someone else and forget about her" - hah!! It was the other way around!!
CurlyIam Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 woow! cool! So it is true what they say about love and money, then.... Get famous and stay true !
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