Simpleoldschool Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 (edited) So im getting out or a horrible marriage. It is not going to be fixed. She abused me and now wants to divorce me. To her im trash so i cant make up for the fact she filed. Good wriddance anway. But ok, so let me tell you. I emotionally let go, completely and am happy in myself. I was in no way looking for another relationship. Not at all. Never and so my dad after me my mother and father have a family dinner suggests we go across the street from where we ate because he wants to check out a new place. Cool idea. I love anime am an anime buff and fanatic. So i go to the maga section. Jap comics and there is this girl there. I imediately notice her because she seems my age and shes looking at books. Anyways turns out she works there. When i got a good look out of my perrifrial i immediately got nervous. I hadnt fealt that way in such a long time and it fealt sooooo good! So good! I made small talk, very small talk. I can talk to girls just fine however not being nervous in so long or finding anyone remotely attractive. Jus the way i am this feeling i remeber was amazing. I wanted to know her name and possibly get her number. But i wasnt sure if she would be interested. The entire time i was acting like i was looking at books but honestly i wasnt interested in them so much as i was curious if she was and also for a few more looks. Obviously she wasnt dumb and probably knew i was attracted but the way she responded to me and to customers was very friendly and nice. Im pretty sure my face was red. Tottaly red the entire time, i mean i could even focus enough to read the labels on the books. My curious notation of the situation was it seemed as if there was mutual attention. While she moved along the isle she stoped for a second and said " oh sorry just trying to get by" (normal) and i said " oh sorry for getting in your way" and she smiled and said " you can go wherever you want to" so i said " oh ok thank you". She moved back and forth along the isle a couple of times. Same stuff happening. I tottaly was so nervous i left the isle because i wasnt looking at books. So i find my mom abd dad my mom shows me some stuff. Now the interesting part is i was headed for the bathroom. I saw her coming from the opposite direction and she turned her headMy way- We made eye contact ( that feeling you get when you feel like someone is attracted to you and you to them) Which by my perception was made for me to understand it as absolutely deliberate and because she was diggin me ( hahaha tottaly assumed) and then there was a big , bright smile on her face ( was that the its ok to talk to me smile) And i smiled back ( that is the first time i think i have ever emiled at anyone that way- were this signals too eachother?)and then She approached another emoployee started talking and as i passed she walked across again behind me so i turned around tottaly ignoring three other employees as if they did not exist and asked " do you guys have restrooms here". Almost knowing she knew i was talking to her she turned around and said " oh yeah they are in the back over there. " im not even sure i looked the direction she pointed or at her. From what i could tell we both seemed to be using the situation as an excuse to talk to eachother bexause we were both nervous. She smiled again and i went into the bathroom heart racing. I left the bathroom and saw her again she approached her friend so i i thought it rude to intoduce myself in the way i was going to. Would it be normal if i said something like. Hey , sorry to bother you but i was wondering/interested of you are single. I saw you in the manga section and was wondering of thats an interest we share? My name is such and such. Would that be ok? And as for the whole situation. My marital situation it is problematic but only if i reserve myself to the idea that i dont plan on telling her but only because it might furlough a chance to get to know her. Obviously i cant aleep with her before my divorce. But at the same time i dont plan on telling her unless i feel the occasion and time appropriate and i do not want her to feel used or mistreated. That is not anyway to start anything out, ever. Everything after would be built on lies and crumble as the last lie she will listen to. I am not a bad person. I was abused emotionally financially mentally and physically with the STBXW. I think im entitled to get to lnow me i just dont want her misconceptions of not knowing me make her beilieve i am an awful person. She does not and should not consider talking to a married man. I do not want to be selfish about this and make a young woman go through a bad time with someone at a bad point in their life. So i was wondering was she even attracted or simply just being who she is a nice person. Really it doesnt matter i can ask the same question about her avalibility and see if shes interested. But i do want to know if anyone beilieves there is any mutual attraction from this text. I was just so excited out of nowhere this came. She was so cute too ehn she tryed to each shelves too high for her. Ohhhh now i regret not asking her if she wanted help. Gosh and my dad wants to go back tommorow but i definately dont want to give her the creepy feeling or stalker feeling. So probably ill go there tommorow and just ask her. Am feeling nervous in my bed even thinking of this. Also i know i should be thinking about myself, getting my life back toghether before i focus on talking to a girl. Or getting into a relationship. I just hate this stuff because if i find out she does like me and we go out we could start dating and then what. Im still LEGGALLY married just not emotionally married and if i say that she definately will think im truely a bad person. I cant help my wife hasnt and never gave a crap and screwed my life and now because we are married still is. Goshhhh she was just soooo cute. Her behaviour anyway. The rest pretty. I hope she didnt see me i kinnnda looked at her apple shaped you know. I dont want someone to think im a pervert either. Like i just looked i didnt MEAN to look. Well i did butttt..... Yeahhhh. Anyways i know i sound lame im just infatuated with something like this. Obviously im not emotionally or financially ready to properly court a women. Although if im over my wife arent i emotionally ready? Blahhhhhh im gonna be nervous if i see her and what if shes wearing something cuter than she did today. Man f word what if she isnt there tommorow now i sound like a stalker. Of course after a week has elapsed or i go back there the situation could have changed where she doesnt care or isnt interested and then that would be good because i can focus on me. I hate being forced outaide of myself to concern myself about others thoughts of me. I know im attractive as much as i should be and nothing more. I can make people laugh pretty easy. I had mom and pops dieing today and a few people at the resturaunt. I just fealt like if i went up to talk to her my lips would pop. The atmosphere is chill at that place. Since she doesnt work behind a counter where people are in line it wont compromise the professional appearence of her work ( because everyone will be thinking shes working if i talk to her anyway). Gosh its 2 in the morning wtf. Ahhh exhiliratings feelings. Hahahahaha. I wont rush into this not emotionally i just want toget to know her and figure the best way to do it given my situation. Any advice? And man im not usually this over the place nor do i usually sound like a teenage girl with the giggly. Bro, crazy! And man was she good looking hahahaha Like i feel like im just very physically attracted. She did have all the right features. I was so shell shocked with her pretty face i dont think i managed to loOk at anything else except the bum. Edited May 17, 2013 by Simpleoldschool
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