whitters Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I'm not sure how forums work but I have this situation and I would like some feedback. I've been dating a man (about two mo. now) who is 16 years older than I am. I just got out of a serious and abusive relationship about 8mo. Ago and I have a 3 yr old son. He knows about my son and is patient and understanding if our date plans change at the last minute due to my parental responsibilities. I am not the type to sleep around and date multiple guys at a time. We had a discussion about what we are looking for and what we want but his answers were always so vague. I told him i like how things are but That i was Starting to develop feelings for him. He didnt back Off or change his Attitude towards me and I am starting to really like him but feel he is just in it for the occasional weekend company. How do I bring the topic up with out sounding like I'm totally insecure?
Noproblem Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Don't bring the topic with him Men want the girl who doesn't want to marry them You know what I mean right? If you seem so interested in a real relationship ...he might think OMG ...she's looking for a new daddy Just keep it cool for a while and if he really loves you'll know without asking! In a month or 2!
ja123 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 If you're recently out of an abusive relationship, then you really need to do some work on yourself before entering into another relationship, IMO. Some therapy would be helpful, and researching codependency issues, etc. You are very vulnerable right now, and this older man could probably run circles around you. You need to protect yourself, your child, and your heart. Good luck! 2
crederer Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 From a guys perspective, you should just simply ask him what he's looking for out of this relationship. And his response will tell you everything you need to know. Don't say you are looking for marriage or get too ahead of yourself, but it's okay to let him know you're looking for something exclusive.
FitChick Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Conventional wisdom is that single mothers are easy -- desperate so won't be as demanding.
Author whitters Posted May 18, 2013 Author Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) Great advice! Thanks! I'm not too sure what I'm looking for I just don't know how to keep from getting hurt. I have been in counseling since before that abusive relationship ended so I'm fairly over the abuse but can't forget it happen which is why I'm apprehensive about this relationship and how to handle it Also I will not introduce anyone to my child until I'm absolutely positive its the real deal! I've seen too much damage done to other children I will never put mine through that. Edited May 18, 2013 by whitters
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