kgarcia6 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 So me and the ex had a pretty mutual breakup (he initiated it but I didn't fight for it) about a month and a half ago. I've spent the last month drying my tears and wondering if he'd come back. However, about two weeks ago, I decided that I didn't really miss the relationship all that much- just him. We're both 20 years old and part of the reason we broke up is because he wasn't doing much with his life and he didn't have enough time to properly devote to the relationship. We met at college when we were both freshman. At the end of that year though, he flunked out, moved back home, and started going to community college and working at Dominos. That was a year ago, and he still hasn't made any plans. I realize now that I can't be in a relationship with him until he gets his life back on track- not to sound harsh. However, I really miss his friendship. He was my best friend before we started dating and I always said that if we broke up, I'd want to stay friends. We've been in NC for a month now, but have to see each other Saturday for a soccer thing. I'm thinking of asking if he wants to be friends, but I don't know how he'll take it, and scared my feelings may change. In conclusion, I really loved him (still do) and I understand that we can't be together right now, and maybe never. I'm not holding out for him, I just truly miss him as a friend and someone to hang out with. Do you guys think trying to stay friends with him is a good idea or extremely stupid? I just need opinions before Saturday!!
aisuru Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Nope. Time to find a new best friend. That you don't date. 1
aisuru Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 aisuru is right. A month isn't enough for you to get out of the breakup. You think you're over it, but you're not. Feelings will bubble to the surface again and you'll be back a square one. Don't do it. Don't make us say "I told you so." What do you reckon, aisuru, is it time we teamed up as some tandem 'Superheroes Of Reason' team? No capes though. Capes are pretentious. I was just thinking I have a stalker. Conquering one heartbreak at a time. I think I would like a magic wand instead of a cape. 1
aisuru Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Breakup section is really quiet tonight. May have to actually explore another area of the boards. Not sure I can handle the OW/OM section however. 1
siankat Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 It's not worth the risk right now. Being friends with someone, unlike trying to get them back, means there is never a perceived time limit in which to do so. I could be wrong but i feel that maybe you have gotten over the worst of the breakup, feel better now, and ok enough to know him again which is what you really want. However if you do still love him, see him and are attracted to him, your feelings are going to come back ten fold as you have been away from him so long. It's just a strong possibility that's all. It's a b**** but when feelings were genuine, they are the hardest to overcome truly. Takes more time. Good luck saturday!
CelticGibson Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 The only time you should ever consider being friends is when you are indifferent to them. You have to be able to be completely over them to the point that when you do meet up with them, they have their partner with them and they are kissing and holding hands and telling each other how much they love each other. If this doesn't phase you in any way, then by all means go for it. If not.... well you know the story...
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