ijcole89 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 My girlfriend of just over 2 years broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago, it has torn my heart apart along with hers, the night after it happened she told me the next day she cried all night and was literally up sick the whole night about it as well. She said that we, "Argued/fought too much and it wore her out." We have continued to text every day since our break up, however, she just went on a trip to Argentina for 10 days yesterday. I saw her last Wednesday to help her pack before she goes back home for the summer for 3 months since she is still in college and I am working in the real world, and I asked what she thought about us at this point and she said, "It would be weird if we got back together so soon, and she thinks that we should take the summer and go from there." I stated that I don't want it to be false hope, and she stated it isn't false hope and that she has accepted my apologies and appreciates it, but "It is over, for now." I lastly saw her this past Monday right before she left for her 10 day trip. I didn't bring anything up about a relationship or us, just about how each of us were doing personally and how things have been, etc., basically just talking lightly/kind of beating around the bush. My main question is, i am at the point were i am going to leave her alone most definitely, but from her responses and such, what do you all think are my chances of us getting back together whenever she gets back from the summer or before or not at all? Every comment is very much appreciated.
aisuru Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 She doesn't want to think about it. Wants a break/break up. Let the summer go how it does. She may or may not reach out to you. Don't initiate contact. Right now you focus on you and try to put thoughts of her aside. You will find that relationships change as you go through various stages of life. Sometimes they keep and sometimes they don't. It'll be okay.
aerosol Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I can only tell you that she needs her time and space. Probably will find a guy during that time almost immediately due to her emotional vulnerability. And that will cause you a real physical pain, not just a poetic heartache, a real -this thing hurts like hell- situation. What you can do is not cling on her. Don't give her time and space, but take time and space off for you. Find other women and talk to them, not need to get married or anything, just talk to anyone you can whenever you go out, it will make a difference and make you change the way you see your situation right now. It's quite probable that things won't work out for the two of you so during that break try and build a new you, cry for what is lost, pick yourself up and carry on, otherwise you will be a lonely emotional wreck while she's doing her best to move on (all likely while being poked by another penis). Been there, done that, hurt like hell but it will eventually fade out, especially if you mingle with other women.
aisuru Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I feel like I just posted to this same post? Give her time. Sometimes, time allows perspective you can't gain when around each other all the time.
Author ijcole89 Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 Due to the fact we each took eachother's virginity it's hard to say she is that type of person that would just pounce on another guy so quickly, so I kind of disagree with you on that one. However, I definitely am giving her time and space and working on myself to see what will happen.
Author ijcole89 Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 Alot of the times, I'd say 80% were tedious little fights/arguments like where are we going to eat tonight or what are we doing tonight? Just typical little things, or how her or I were acting toward eachother sometimes. The big part I believe toward the last few months were that she would be joking off hand being like, "I can't wait to go to argentina and dance with those guys haha" kinda making me jealous so I'd get a bit angry. Sometimes it was about us having sex, too much for her sometimes or she wasn't in the mood. The last fight we had that caused us to break up was I was just irritated she seemed to be talking to her roommates BF the whole night while I just wanted her and I to hang out before she left for the summer. Along with that, she got out of the car whenever a guy friend of hers came to visit college and she ran to him and jumped into his arms. They are really good friends along with alot of the girls on her sports team so that made me really jealous and said to her that it broke my heart to see her do that whenever I've never seen her do that to me. Extremely childish on my part, i REALLY realize that now and she just couldnt take us constanly nagging at each other it seemed like. I don't blame her, I've explained my faults to her and how I'm working to change it for myself firstly.
california15 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 She probably is letting you down easy (in her mind) by asking for a break now. All the while possibly having the intention of never reconciling and when she tells you that at the end of summer, she may think she'd given you fair warning ahead of time. Just be careful of clinging to false hope that prevents you from living your life and moving on. You said she said "its over for now". So take her words at face value - its over. focus on yourself - you'll make it just fine.
Author ijcole89 Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 Only thing I guess I can do is just do me and see what happens in the summer basically
aerosol Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Due to the fact we each took eachother's virginity it's hard to say she is that type of person that would just pounce on another guy so quickly, so I kind of disagree with you on that one. Did you stop at taking baby steps, or learned how to run?
Author ijcole89 Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 Baby steps with eachother. Obviously in college I had opportunities to have sex with other women, however, whenever the opportunity presented itself, and same in my later yrs in high school, I just didnt feel it was right. Not until I met this yr, it felt right its hard to explain other than that. I have done other things with women previously, just not intercourse and the same went for her with men.
happydate Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 (edited) My girlfriend of just over 2 years broke up with me almost 2 weeks ago, it has torn my heart apart along with hers, the night after it happened she told me the next day she cried all night and was literally up sick the whole night about it as well. She said that we, "Argued/fought too much and it wore her out." We have continued to text every day since our break up, however, she just went on a trip to Argentina for 10 days yesterday. I saw her last Wednesday to help her pack before she goes back home for the summer for 3 months since she is still in college and I am working in the real world, and I asked what she thought about us at this point and she said, "It would be weird if we got back together so soon, and she thinks that we should take the summer and go from there." I stated that I don't want it to be false hope, and she stated it isn't false hope and that she has accepted my apologies and appreciates it, but "It is over, for now." I lastly saw her this past Monday right before she left for her 10 day trip. I didn't bring anything up about a relationship or us, just about how each of us were doing personally and how things have been, etc., basically just talking lightly/kind of beating around the bush. My main question is, i am at the point were i am going to leave her alone most definitely, but from her responses and such, what do you all think are my chances of us getting back together whenever she gets back from the summer or before or not at all? Every comment is very much appreciated. When you guys aren't meant as life mates, then no matter how many rebounds you guys go through (make up and breakup), you guys can not be together. You need to accept this. This is for your good because it will effect all the future relationships with you and the new girls you meet and with her with all the men she meets in the future. Without proper closure, NC and healing, what you guys ended up with is like the Romeo and Juliet effect. You try to get together again and again but just don't work out, but in the meantime you date and dump other women at the opportunity you see your old flame is available again. Then these women wondered why they got dumped for no reasons at all. The same with your old flame. She would date men to pass time in such a way that she may want to be with you again. If that's the case, then she dumps her men without any reasons. Along the way, you guys will create carnage and unnecessary pain on innocent people which you can avoid. But due to both of you selfish motives, certain damage in love will not be avoidable. I once dated a 47 yr woman who lost her virginity with this guy at age 20. She's been casual dating and having sex for like 27 yrs ever since and continuing texting and talking to her old flame. She once told me that her ex-boyfriend girlfriends used to get upset because this 47 yr old woman continues talking to him, wanting to know everything about him. It's as though they never separated and as though they are still connected. So along the way, she dumped guys without reasons including me. The last guy before me was a shrink, her shrink! It's sad to see her and her ex-flame get stuck in a hamster wheel of date, breakup and dump. They even thought they were having fun. Well, I wasn't having fun as I got dumped. Edited May 17, 2013 by happydate
Author ijcole89 Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 The reason we met those two times was to take things to her storage unit and to mail things along with just wishing her the best in Argentina, nothing really to do with emotions of the relationship at the the first time so not sure what you're getting at with the Romeo and Juliet effect really. At this point its in her ball park I'm here to be nice and still a great friend first and foremost, but still positive for a possible reconnection with healing and if its not meant to be, its not then I'll move on but the summer i feel will definitely tell. Once that time goes by then we'll see.
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