mesmerized Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 And yet they still do... Do they? If they did, you guys would be getting laid right and left! 1
skydiveaddict Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Look at all the complexes you and other ones in this thread are showing. No woman in her right mind would want to deal with that ****. What "complexes?" Specify
mesmerized Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 What "complexes?" Specify Like hokie's complex with having sex with very young women cause he feels he missed out...Same dude had relationships with women much older than him, connect the dots. I know enough guys like him in real life to know what's there to deal with. People always tell women to lower their standards and go for someone they don't usually go for but trust me the "nice unsuccessful with women" guy is usually not the answer either. 1
USMCHokie Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Do they? If they did, you guys would be getting laid right and left! All they need to do is pretend to be successful, right? Or just shower them with attention.
mesmerized Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 All they need to do is pretend to be successful, right? Or just shower them with attention. easier said than done or you'd be doing it. Honestly, I often find the extreme insecurity and shallowness of unsuccessful men terrifying to deal with...At least successful men only suffer from shallowness lol 1
USMCHokie Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 easier said than done or you'd be doing it. I've never tried. Honestly, I often find the extreme insecurity and shallowness of unsuccessful men terrifying to deal with...At least successful men only suffer from shallowness lol Fake it 'til you make it. Luckily, most people out there have terrible awareness. 1
mesmerized Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 I've never tried. Fake it 'til you make it. Luckily, most people out there have terrible awareness. You really think insecurity does not show if they try? Well, maybe I'm just a master at reading it. It's so easy to make men insecure and they always show it sooner than later.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 That's exactly why women don't want to deal with unsuccessful men. Look at all the complexes you and other ones in this thread are showing. No woman in her right mind would want to deal with that ****. This. 110%. So much more refreshing to read than the "be positive" mantra people display on these threads. Realism, it's a good thing. 1
USMCHokie Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 You really think insecurity does not show if they try? Oh, I'm sure it does eventually. Well, maybe I'm just a master at reading it. It's so easy to make men insecure and they always show it sooner than later. That's why the guy should leave sooner rather than later. 1
skydiveaddict Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 It's so easy to make men insecure and they always show it sooner than later. "Hello, pot? This is the kettle calling." Now your insecurity is showing. You don't like someone else's dating resume so you set out to belittle them. 2
USMCHokie Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Realism, it's a good thing. Indeed. And it explains why men with complexes should go after the women with complexes. Hell, even the men without complexes go after the women with complexes... 2
mesmerized Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Oh, I'm sure it does eventually. That's why the guy should leave sooner rather than later. Good point. It never takes more than two or three dates for me though. "Hello, pot? This is the kettle calling." Now your insecurity is showing. You don't like someone else's dating resume so you set out to belittle them. Hah? I just contributed to the topic that was going on. I never said I don't have any insecurities but my post here had nothing to do with me being insecure. lol
skydiveaddict Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Hah? I just contributed to the topic that was going on. I never said I don't have any insecurities but my post here had nothing to do with me being insecure. lol It has everything to do with it. It's obvious. Otherwise you wouldn't add the arrogant and very insecure little "lol" comment.
USMCHokie Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Good point. It never takes more than two or three dates for me though. Hence the sense of urgency to get it in before then.
mesmerized Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 It has everything to do with it. It's obvious. Otherwise you wouldn't add the arrogant and very insecure little "lol" comment. I use "lol" after like every sentence. Sorry hon, you're just not as good in this reading thing as you thought. And hey, the fact that you are offended this much shows your insecurity much more than it shows mine, just saying.
skydiveaddict Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 I use "lol" after like every sentence. Really? I never would have noticed. Sorry hon, you're just not as good in this reading thing as you thought. I guess not. And hey, the fact that you are offended this much shows your insecurity much more than it shows mine, just saying. Where did I imply that I was offended? Just saying.
carhill Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Reading the article, I was reminded of a phrase I heard from numerous women of my generation, relevant to their early sexual experiences: "I had sex with him because I wanted him to like me' In the article, the author states: "Our data has shown that one of the greatest contributors to hookup behavior is a desire for sexual pleasure. However, there are also a large number of college students -- around 50% in one of our studies -- that hook up because they are hoping to start a romantic relationship or want emotional gratification." IMO, the gist of what I'm getting from all this 'new' phraseology is that people, increasingly, apparently wish to 'dance' around the mating dance with circumspect words and actions, just as my generation did with 'free love'. Apparently, both then and now, such perspectives are more socially acceptable, so more people are engaging in them and, with advent of instant communication, sharing those perspectives publicly. However, along with that, as the article states, some people are also expressing reflection and feelings of regret, also not unlike similar expressions from past generations, as evidenced by the quote I shared prior from women I've known to the extent that they've shared some of their personal sexual viewpoints with me. I think it's healthy that young people are reflecting on such issues. 1
Emilia Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Indeed. And it explains why men with complexes should go after the women with complexes. Hell, even the men without complexes go after the women with complexes... My view is that everyone has complexes. Besides, it's all relative ...
USMCHokie Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 My view is that everyone has complexes. Besides, it's all relative ... Is thinking that you don't have a complex a complex itself?
Emilia Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Is thinking that you don't have a complex a complex itself? Or NPD? 2
xxoo Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 But you can still go back and have sex with 18 year olds... You can, but I'd be curious how you felt about it after you did. Have you spent time around a lot of 18 year olds lately? With your life experience, I imagine you'd find them....insipid. And, when they show their age in a childish way (as they sometimes do), will you feel like a creep? Anyway, both my H and I participated in "hook up" culture back in the late 80s/early 90s. Maybe it was just the time and place where we grew up, but this is nothing new to me for the younger crowd. I am very glad that I didn't partner with someone who felt he "missed out" on sex with 18 year olds at the appropriate time. You guys missed out then, but your focus on recapturing that youth may lead you to missing out now. When are you going to let go and just enjoy the present?
ptp Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) Never heard of the hookup culture, except for internet articles about it. Never experienced it, never saw it. Wait didn't you go to college? In the US? Did you happen to go to a religious school or something? What's interesting is that the people who completely get left out of the dating world feel exactly the same way: Not only are more college students hooking up -- kissing, making out and having sex -- but these experiences often leave them feeling empty, sad and regretful. Everything in moderation I guess? Edited May 18, 2013 by ptp
xxoo Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 What's interesting is that the people who completely get left out of the dating world feel exactly the same way: Everything in moderation I guess? Yes, everything in moderation. I think there is a place for casual sexual experimentation, especially at times of life when we are not looking for a mate: before marriage age, after divorce, etc. I have no regrets about the "hooking up" that I did before meeting my husband, because those were guys I knew and trusted, I didn't want them to be my boyfriend, I just wanted to have some sexual experiences. Nice memories for me, and I'm sure for them, too 3
Emilia Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 I have no regrets about the "hooking up" that I did before meeting my husband, because those were guys I knew and trusted, I didn't want them to be my boyfriend, I just wanted to have some sexual experiences. Nice memories for me, and I'm sure for them, too Same here. Slightly off topic but I don't get why people regret hook ups (unless they get STD, pregnant, etc).
USMCHokie Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 You guys missed out then, but your focus on recapturing that youth may lead you to missing out now. When are you going to let go and just enjoy the present? Why can't the present include lots of 18 year olds...?
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