fortyninethousand322 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I'm really not foreseeing good things, especially considering that you're equating first time sex to scraping your legs and elbows. But really, if you feel you want to, then by all means go for it. Being that I'm 25 and two years removed from undergrad, it's too late for me. I can now go for relationships like I want, except I have to explain the huge gap on my relationship and sexual resume.
Els Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 And I'm saying that you can't be sure that it's going to be the type of issue that you THINK it's going to be, when you haven't even tried. I mean, when's the last time you even asked a girl out? Your fear of being judged for your virginity is holding you back. So you have two choices: 1) Either own your virginity and conquer your fear, or 2) Go scrape your elbows up a bit just to pad your resume. I'd highly recommend #1. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I think it's mainly that they pick the wrong people. I know a lot of people in the UK (not that different from US culture I don't think in terms of sex, London being particuarly liberal) never had casual sex or certainly not out of choice in their younger years. I think a lot of young ones have no idea how to keep a relationship going. But I think going through that stage helps. And I don't think that abstaining from hooking up gives one any advantages.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 And I'm saying that you can't be sure that it's going to be the type of issue that you THINK it's going to be, when you haven't even tried. I mean, when's the last time you even asked a girl out? Your fear of being judged for your virginity is holding you back. So you have two choices: 1) Either own your virginity and conquer your fear, or 2) Go scrape your elbows up a bit just to pad your resume. I'd highly recommend #1. Two weeks ago. Via OLD. We had coffee. She made up a story about being hung up on an ex and that was why she couldn't see me again. What I wrote in this thread wasn't about why I should do now, but rather what I'd do over from ages 18-23 knowing what I know now.
KungFuJoe Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Two weeks ago. Via OLD. We had coffee. She made up a story about being hung up on an ex and that was why she couldn't see me again. What I wrote in this thread wasn't about why I should do now, but rather what I'd do over from ages 18-23 knowing what I know now. Join the club, my friend. You know how many times I've said to myself, "if I just knew then what I know now..." You're experiencing something that the vast majority of people experience. You're definitely not alone and it makes no difference in terms of what's in front of you. You're 25. You're a freakin baby! Seriously. I'm 39 and believe me I was dumb as a board at 25 and even dumber at 18. Having hooked up when you're younger is so irrelevant but you won't realize it til you're much older. 2
Emilia Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 You're 25. You're a freakin baby! Seriously. I'm 39 and believe me I was dumb as a board at 25 and even dumber at 18. Having hooked up when you're younger is so irrelevant but you won't realize it til you're much older. I was talking to a 27 year-old in the pub today, he is depressed about this and that and where his life is going and getting old and missed opportunities. I just said 'look I know I'm talking to a brick wall here but you are not missing anything, you will be FINE! and your 30s will turn out fine' You can't tell the young ones. You just can't. You have to let them experience things. 5
KungFuJoe Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I was talking to a 27 year-old in the pub today, he is depressed about this and that and where his life is going and getting old and missed opportunities. I just said 'look I know I'm talking to a brick wall here but you are not missing anything, you will be FINE! and your 30s will turn out fine' You can't tell the young ones. You just can't. You have to let them experience things. Yup. Just like no one could tell me a damn thing when I was young and stupid. And boy was I stupid. 1
ThaWholigan Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I was talking to a 27 year-old in the pub today, he is depressed about this and that and where his life is going and getting old and missed opportunities. I just said 'look I know I'm talking to a brick wall here but you are not missing anything, you will be FINE! and your 30s will turn out fine' You can't tell the young ones. You just can't. You have to let them experience things. Yes. I'm a young man, and I'll tell you - at my worst, my head is harder than granite . As you get older, you'll learn to accept things as they are. I truly believe my best years are to come. 4
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Yup. Just like no one could tell me a damn thing when I was young and stupid. And boy was I stupid. Well yeah, I'm definitely stupid. But I don't feel young. I look and feel about 40 years old...
Emilia Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Yes. I'm a young man, and I'll tell you - at my worst, my head is harder than granite . As you get older, you'll learn to accept things as they are. I truly believe my best years are to come. Yes they are. You have no idea.
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Yes. I'm a young man, and I'll tell you - at my worst, my head is harder than granite . As you get older, you'll learn to accept things as they are. I truly believe my best years are to come. Yeah well, I'm looking at mine in the rear view mirror...
ThaWholigan Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Yeah well, I'm looking at mine in the rear view mirror... Keep telling yourself that and that will be true. You will only be dooming yourself. 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Keep telling yourself that and that will be true. You will only be dooming yourself. I wish I could share your optimistic point of view, I really do. But I really don't feel like things will ever get better. Too many things I screwed up or missed out on. You just can't go back in time and change it.
ThaWholigan Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I wish I could share your optimistic point of view, I really do. But I really don't feel like things will ever get better. Too many things I screwed up or missed out on. You just can't go back in time and change it. Yeah, you can't go back and change. But you won't get anywhere lamenting what you screwed up on. If I did the same, I would be nowhere. And it would be really easy, because I screwed up a lot of opportunities too in my life - even in dating. You don't have to be optimistic like me - I'm well aware I'm not like others in that regard (even then, I'm not impervious to cynicism). But you still have to have an even keel, and an eye on the possible positives - or at the very least, force your way towards something more positive for you. Otherwise when older, your way of thinking will be a bigger regret than anything you screwed up on before. 2
BoneyHadger Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Yes. I'm a young man, and I'll tell you - at my worst, my head is harder than granite . As you get older, you'll learn to accept things as they are. I truly believe my best years are to come. Seriously. One constantly gains knowledge, experience, an idea of what works and what doesn't, how in the world can it get worse?
DannyMason Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 One constantly gains knowledge, experience, an idea of what works and what doesn't, how in the world can it get worse? Actually, if you've paid attention to 49's posting you'll find that him not building up the experience is the regret. I'm in the same boat.
BoneyHadger Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Actually, if you've paid attention to 49's posting you'll find that him not building up the experience is the regret. I'm in the same boat. Actually, if you've paid attention to my posting, you'll find that he actually DOES build experience - at the very least by finding stuff that doesn't work.
DannyMason Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Actually, if you've paid attention to my posting, you'll find that he actually DOES build experience - at the very least by finding stuff that doesn't work. I meant that in the more specific sense of him not getting hookups and such while younger. He does seem to be out there gaining other types of experience now, though. Good on him. I hope to follow his example in the coming months.
hppr Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 I can now go for relationships like I want, except I have to explain the huge gap on my relationship and sexual resume. No you don't. "I was working really hard on school and just didn't have time for relationships, a few girls did offer me casual relationships but I declined." Education and life direction is far more important than where you stuck your dick when you were younger. Besides contrary to popular belief not EVERY girl has been around the block a zillion times by age 25 either. 2
DannyMason Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Is there really a need to lie about women wanting casual relationships with him? You don't owe anyone an explanation, 49. Keep your integrity.
MichelleSummers1304 Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 (edited) This is why I'm having a hard time getting past my child's father. I've tried talking to other guys and instead of hey let's go to dinner they're like let's just chill at my place and I'm not falling for it. I'd rather keep doing something familiar with the same jerk then let a new one in. Edited May 18, 2013 by MichelleSummers1304
USMCHokie Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 Yeah, you can't go back and change. But you can still go back and have sex with 18 year olds...
fortyninethousand322 Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 No you don't. "I was working really hard on school and just didn't have time for relationships, a few girls did offer me casual relationships but I declined." Education and life direction is far more important than where you stuck your dick when you were younger. Besides contrary to popular belief not EVERY girl has been around the block a zillion times by age 25 either. Perhaps I should have put the caveat in there that I would have to do so if I told the truth. I don't intend to though. I intend to either lie about my inexperience or like you say here, make up a story about working hard on school or some nonsense. Obviously not every girl has had tons of sexual partners. Many have though. Often times casual sex is looked at as something you do when you're single. Men who have been around the block have a distinct advantage over those who haven't...
mesmerized Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 But you can still go back and have sex with 18 year olds... That's exactly why women don't want to deal with unsuccessful men. Look at all the complexes you and other ones in this thread are showing. No woman in her right mind would want to deal with that ****. 2
USMCHokie Posted May 18, 2013 Posted May 18, 2013 That's exactly why women don't want to deal with unsuccessful men. Look at all the complexes you and other ones in this thread are showing. No woman in her right mind would want to deal with that ****. And yet they still do... 1
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