littleflowerpot Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 i backslid and f*cked up. i told him we could try being friends again. what a load of crap. all that amounts to are memories and reminders. back to no contact for me.
sami Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 " Backslid" we know. what is "********" Little****** ?
izzybelle Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 i'm still hopeful that i can remain friends with mine. did it once before and i think i can do it again. it definitely becomes easier when you're involved with someone else. but i still run into my 1st ex MM at parties all the time. the first few times it was kind of weird and i really wanted to run but now it really doesn't phase me. i guess it was partially just really accepting in my heart that it was over and convincing myself that we weren't right for each other anyway, married or not! this time, it may be more difficult but we'll see. i fell hard for this one and i know he did for me as well. but it has to be this way for now or possibly forever. i know he still wants to be friends and even though the attraction is still very much there, i think over time we'll be ok. we were friends first and i hope to he** we can get that back. while in some ways i'd like to have him in my life as more than a friend, after seeing him for the first time in 5 months, i can feel myself letting go. a bittersweet feeling. i still love him to death, but have finally accepted that his happiness is more important to me than the relationship. can't believe i just said that, and actually meant it. not 100% yet but i'm getting there and i know once i do the friends part will be fine.
Fran_H Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 Don't forget your happiness is important too!
izzybelle Posted September 28, 2004 Posted September 28, 2004 fran, you're absolutely right!!! and that's also one of the reasons i'd like to stay friends with my exMM. i love talking to him. yes, the sex is incredible, but i love just talking to him. and i miss that terribly and hope in time, although it's doubtful that we'll ever spend the hours emailing and on the phone that we did for a while, that we'll get back to that part of our relationship. he's a sweet, warm man. and although lately i've been pis*ed at his actions and decisions, i know he's doing what he needs to do and he's not just being mean to me. it's felt that way a few times, but i believe in my heart that he didn't intentionally mean to hurt me. i still value him as a friend. it's hard right now, but i hope in time....
musiclover_80 Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 Yes littleflowerpot by letting him remain friends with you is a mistake...bigtime. I know it is hard to let go, my mm just called me last week just to "talk" That is one of the things i miss about him so much, we talk alot about different things whereas my husband says"Don't want to hear it" like you are not a person and he doesn't respect you.... i did talk to him that once but have had no contact with him since if he calls my cell i see his number and don't answer, it is hard but he had a commitment to make to me too and let me down so i have to be hard on him as well as myself stick with it you will make it through.....
nothurtanymore Posted September 29, 2004 Posted September 29, 2004 no...sorry it is impossible to be just friends. All u can do is split up without any anger, but remaining friends it is not possible. Talking from experience. Best thing to do is not to become enemies and try to not meet ever again. Trust me.
Author littleflowerpot Posted September 30, 2004 Author Posted September 30, 2004 i feel like the worst kind of hypocrite. i told him not to email me again because we were foolish to think the friends thing after having so much more would work (we won't be running into each other as we now live 3,000 miles apart). so what does he do? he calls me today. and the number didn't show up on caller i.d. so i answered it. i ended up crying and we all know how it is when you let yourself get emotional. i agreed to calm down and let him call me again tomorrow. now i know i shouldn't have said okay. i should have said no and stuck to my decision because i know this is how it must be. someone else said that they missed the friendship as much as the sex. it's that way for me too. he was my best friend. he was my best friend before we became intimate and it continued during our affair. that's the part i miss so much right now. and that feeling during a time when i was a complete emotional wreck was what lead me to say okay to his call tomorrow. i just wish i didn't love this guy so much.
Fayebelle Posted September 30, 2004 Posted September 30, 2004 I stay out of the OW threads b/c of my beliefs but I really like you and I just wanted to say *hugs* and Good Luck- you deserve friends and a lover who will treat you like the queen you are.
Author littleflowerpot Posted September 30, 2004 Author Posted September 30, 2004 Originally posted by Fayebelle I stay out of the OW threads b/c of my beliefs but I really like you and I just wanted to say *hugs* and Good Luck- you deserve friends and a lover who will treat you like the queen you are. how very, very sweet. i haven't been around so much because i've been really busy lately (finishing up a script i'm writing) but i'm so glad i'm here today. hearing nice things like you just said helps people when they are feeling most vulnerable. i appreciate it very much.
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