hotpotato Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 My bf of 10 months dumped me out of the blue. Bf is military. Four months we were proximal, but for the past 6 months he went home. Im in the south, and he is in the north. We have never had a disagreement. Just days before we were talking about me visiting. All this time he has been saying he would for me to live with him. He has said he fell hard for me. All of a sudden everything changed. He wouldnt call me for an entire weekend. He had always been difficult to get on the phone, but it was especially difficult this particular weekend. He had been trying to get stationed close to me, but he couldnt. He is getting deployed later this year. He said he still hoped we could talk and that he wasnt planning to date anyone else. He sent me money to come visit him. Ive had no contact with him except for a few text messages, mostly to tell him I sent his money back. I want so bad to talk to hm. I miss his voice and our conversations. I dont know how much longer I can do nc.
california15 Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I'm sorry you're hurting. But welcome to LS, we're here to help you. You have to do it! Its hard. Its necessary. You're not alone! You're not the only one who thinks its a struggle. We've all either been there or are there. I promise It will get better. Just focus on getting through today. Just today, that's it. Then tomorrow focus solely on tomorrow. A day at a time. You can do this! NC will only work when you've accepted the relationship is over and you're 100% committed to moving on and to healing. If you're not fully committed to that, its going to be that much harder. If you seriously want to do NC, you will. 1
KatZee Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Military... long distance... dumped out of no where... Pretty sure there is someone else. Dumpers are rarely going to tell you the truth, and virtually every time someone says, "I'm not going to date" it's a complete lie to spare you more pain. Don't break NC. HE'S the one that left. HE should be the one contacting you if he misses you. To reach out to him shows that you're weak and that you are willing to accept being dumped, rejected and STILL throw yourself at him... long story short- that's not attractive. Stay strong.
Author hotpotato Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 I dont understand...Just a few days before I was amazing and possibly a future babymama. Now I remember why I stopped dating. Tonight is going to be really rough. He also said hed contact me, give me a few days to think about it. It has always been hard to get him on the phone except in the very beginning. I wish he hadnt said that.
Mrlonelyone Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I know how you feel. We all know how you feel, and it will help to remember that everyone on Earth who has had relationships has had them end. It is the worst when it seems that it is out of nowhere. One minute they are making noises and motions like someone who you like would. The next minute they are going NC and acting like a stranger or worse. 2
CorridorE Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 I know how you feel, I went through almost the same thing. military boyfriend.... long distance... started not returning calls and texts.. and then left out of no where when things had seemed fine. Only we were together 3 years. I wish we could have had a real discussion about his decision but it never happened and not even a month post BU he had moved on with someone else. I'm so sorry you're going through this also, I'm right there with you... The other posters are right; do your best to go NC. He never contacts me anymore, but it has really helped me begin to get over him these past few months. No contact is the best thing right now. Feel better.
Author hotpotato Posted May 30, 2013 Author Posted May 30, 2013 Hi all! Just an update- I am doing much better. Yesterday ex tried to call me, then later he posted on his fb that hes in a relationship with someone else. The relationship began 2 days before ours ended. From how he described himself, this is very out of character. He said hes the type not to date for years at a time. Here the kicker. We are long distance, probably 1000 miles away. The girl lives in the same state as me! This girl and I are the same race (ex is different race)similar bodies, live in the same state. He dumped me so he could date someone similar. Now hes apparently in the same ldr he was in before. Can you say cuckoo?
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