Lexa Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Any advice? I've been seeing a nigerian man (US citizen) for several months now, but I'm not sure what he wants. He hasn't introduced me to family or friends. I have also given him mixed signals at different points. All we know is that we like each other.. nothing further has been discussed. I'm trying to think of it more from his perspective.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 Any advice? I've been seeing a nigerian man (US citizen) for several months now, but I'm not sure what he wants. He hasn't introduced me to family or friends. I have also given him mixed signals at different points. All we know is that we like each other.. nothing further has been discussed. I'm trying to think of it more from his perspective. I do not know your ethnicity but he might be anxious because his family might not be accepting.
CryForNoOne Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 I do not know your ethnicity but he might be anxious because his family might not be accepting. Not to add fuel to the fire but my ex of 5 years was half Nigerian and she had nothing but bad things to say about Nigerian men - sexist, misogynistic etc.. Her father was Nigerian and her mother was European, and his family was definitely not accepting of her and it directly led to their marriage failing and their two daughters becoming estranged with their father. This was the 1970s and early 80s though... in most places it's somewhat if not significantly easier to date date inter-racially.
StanMusial Posted May 16, 2013 Posted May 16, 2013 For just casual dating and the "honeymoon stage" it's not much different than anything else. When you get serious is when it becomes a problem. I guess it depends really on how different the cultures are that are trying to blend. 1
Author Lexa Posted May 17, 2013 Author Posted May 17, 2013 he did say his parents want him to marry a nigerian woman, but he was very dismissive about it, saying it doesn't matter. I'm not looking for that level of commitment, but I do want a relationship of some sort.
CryForNoOne Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 he did say his parents want him to marry a nigerian woman, but he was very dismissive about it, saying it doesn't matter. I'm not looking for that level of commitment, but I do want a relationship of some sort. My guess is that it doesn't matter to HIM but it does to his family. So he is probably just being cautious to introduce you until things are more committed. Put yourself in his shoes and it's probably not that big a deal until things are further along in the relationship...
FitChick Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Nigerians are a very wealthy and generous people. Why, at least once a week I get an email from one of them offering me millions of dollars to do them a little favor. 1
aisuru Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 My ex is Japanese American and I'm white. His family was very accepting of me and the fact that we were beginning to discuss marriage. I found him to be much more tapped into the Japanese culture than many of my other Asian American friends in his behavior and habits however. In the early months of our relationship, sometimes it caused a little discomfort or uncertainty on my part to the point I asked him bluntly one time why he wasn't dating a Japanese girl. FWIW, his two siblings were much more "americanized" than he is, perhaps because he's able to visit Japan at least every other year. Ironically, his other Japanese friends who have come here between middle school age and adulthood all feel he's pretty americanized so I guess it's all about perception. I think it's going to depend on the cultures, the families, and the individuals involved.
todreaminblue Posted May 17, 2013 Posted May 17, 2013 Any advice? I've been seeing a nigerian man (US citizen) for several months now, but I'm not sure what he wants. He hasn't introduced me to family or friends. I have also given him mixed signals at different points. All we know is that we like each other.. nothing further has been discussed. I'm trying to think of it more from his perspective. I have dated inter racially and if you are accepting of differences and the person you are with is accepting of differences it can work.......cultural differences and language barriers are hurdles..family traditions as well....religions....but this exists in most relationships at the start.....i wish you the best....deb.....
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